The Bigfoot Project

Well, every so often we come across

one of these kinds of stories.

This peach of a piece comes to us from down south

where a Georgia man claims to have seen

Bigfoot.

Yes, that's right, Bigfoot.

Michael Joneses of Calamityville,

says that the legendary creature walked right by him

while at a local creek.

Joneses tells WRXH that he and a friend

were walking through the woods when it happened.

I was there. I was right there, you know?

And he was right there.

And he looked me right in the eye.

I look at my friend, and he just shrugged like nothing happened.

You said it was dark, correct?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

Maybe too dark to really make out what you were seeing?

Oh, no, no matter.

Day, night, light, or dark, big is always gonna be big.

That's right, "big is always going to be big."

Apparently they tried to interview the other eyewitness,

but he declined to comment.

Well, there you have it, folks,

even Bigfoot likes Southern hospitality.

No, we talked about this. It's "project Bigfoot."

Oh, my gosh, that sounds lame.

It should be

you know, make it sound scary, dude.

Moose, we said "project Bigfoot" in the movie.

And you saw it. It's not scary.

We're going with

Okay, you tell me what sounds better,

or

Moose, you're just doing a better voice

- for the one that you want. - No, I wasn't.

When's the last time you heard the title

being said as it came up on the screen?

Never, why are you doing this?

Okay, I'm telling you, Steve, it's the way the business

Stop! It's...

And that's the end of the conversation, okay?

Fine, you're the boss, you get what you want.

- Thank you. - Yep.

- I respect you. - I appreciate that.

- Are we rolling? - Yeah, man, go.

The yeti. Sasquatch.

Skunk ape.

The Yowie.

"Harry and the Hendersons."

This supposed beast dons many names

from different regions all around the globe,

but we have all come to know him as Bigfoot.

The million dollar question is,

does he exist?

Stay tuned as we interview several people

who claim, yes, he does!

Is that going to be the beginning?

Yeah! Yeah, I mean, might jazz it up a little, I don't know,

what do you think?

Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's good.

- No, that was kinda weak, dude. - What, really?

I mean, maybe it needs more of a hook.

You know, like a twist?

I can't put a twist in it. It's a documentary.

It's not made up, only the... Oh, this is it.

Okay, guys, this is a very good friend of mine,

who has a lot of experience with a camera.

A true professional.

So I'm begging the both of you, especially you,

- Unwarranted. - Be on your best behavior, okay?

Always on my best behavior, Steve.

- Always? - Always.

Especially this time.

This yeti guy better not be a douchebag

- because I think I can only take... - What?

- Five days of douche. - Moose.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

- Holy hotcakes! - Don't say hotcakes.

Best behavior. Best.

Oh, my! Is that?

- Dude, do you know who that is, man? -No.

That's Jamie Kerrigan.

Oh, man, she was on my flag football team.

She is so hot and fast.

Yeah, she's hot, but she better not get in my way.

What do you mean, "get in your way"?

You know what I'm talking about.

Oh, yeah. Wait, no, I don't.

Do you even know how to use that thing?

Oh, yeah, kinda.

Hi.

I'm Jamie.

Okay.

Gummy bear?

Oh, no, thanks.

And we are off!

- Have you been rolling this whole time? -Yeah.

I told you you, don't need...

Fancy schmancy hotel accommodations.

There's Jamie, with her awesome diary.

Moose, big old pocket knife.

- Mickey. - Your fly's open.

- Yeah, I do that for fun sometimes. It's funny.

Okay, guys, this is gonna be super fun.

We're gonna do a quick little intro.

Okay, so just tell us who you are, how you got here.

What you hope to gain from this experience,

you blah, blah, blah. You got it?

- Yup. - Sounds gay.

Well, that doesn't even make sense, but whatever, you're doing it.

I zipped it up, just in case you're wondering.

Oh, good, yeah, I'm proud of you.

Okay, great, let's get started.

Yeah, that bed is big enough for the three of us, yeah?

- Oh, the more the merrier. - No, no.

And action.

Hi, I am Mickey. I am 26 years old.

I am from West Palm Beach, Florida.

Hi. I am Jamie. I'm a researcher

and a fellow camera operator on project Bigfoot.

Yeah, Moose. Real name's Franklin Simmons.

So you can understand why I go by Moose.

I like football.

I like to play racquetball.

I don't if there is a Bigfoot, but...

Who knows, you know?

That's why I'm here, I guess.

Bigfoot is bullshit.

I am 5' 4 1/2",

140 pounds.

- And I work at the... - What are you doing?

You said to introduce myself.

Yeah, but this isn't... This isn't eHarmony, okay?

Just tell us about the project and why you're here.

- I'm sorry, man, that's... all right. - It's easy.

All right, um, hi!

I am Mickey. I am here for audio.

I work at the Olive Garden.

I'm pretty stoked, I think.

So Steve asked me to come up here.

So whatev's, I'm here.

- Brought my gun. - Oh, sweet.

I am 5' 4 1/2".

I am 140...

You already said that.

Steve, I'm not good at this stuff, man.

So, it should be fun.

Steve, she didn't say how tall she was.

- That's fine. - Copy.

So, if there is a Bigfoot,

you better watch out

cause the Moose is coming for you.

Hi, I'm the team leader, Steve.

- Or captain Steve. - -I'm not calling you captain Steve.

For five days, I and my brave team,

will be alone in the backwoods of Georgia,

here in Calamityville.

It was here that the last known sighting

of Bigfoot took place, only 12 days ago.

We plan to investigate.

Not only will we talk to professors and scientists,

but we'll also talk to locals

who say that they've seen Bigfoot

with their very own eyes.

I've spent 10 years dedicating my life

to the research of Bigfoot.

So there's no hiding the fact that I strongly believe

that Bigfoot exists.

I also believe that by the end of this project,

the world will know more about this mystifying creature.

This is captain Steve signing off.

Stay tuned.

10 years, Jesus, get a life!

Come on, man, can you not...

I admire the people who go looking.

What do you mean?

The people that actually go looking for Bigfoot.

They never find anything, Steve.

Yeah, but at least they're trying.

Yeah, but at least you got a big interview set up, Steve.

- I guess. - -Do you know what you're gonna ask yet?

Yeah, I should be good.

Hey, Steve, who's gonna edit the movie?

I don't know yet, why?

I shot this short film called, "Blood Brotherz."

Steve, freakin' awesome.

Hey, bro? Bro? Are you awake?

Now I am. What's up little brother?

I can't do this prison anymore.

It's got me down.

Then we need to get out of this place.

We need to do it now.

- What's your plan? -The big brother's got a plan.

We're gonna get you the hell outta here.

Come on little brother, this way!

No, it's locked!

- Let's go! - Thanks, man.

Yeah, my cousin cut it. He can edit your movie. He's pretty good.

Yeah? Is he really any good, or does he...?