Icing (Zakázané uvolnění)

The Nova Group wishes you a pleasant time.

I'm pressing the menu button, but there's no menu coming up.

Yeah, the light is green! What?

So you think I'm colour-blind just because I'm a woman?

Fuck you, Karel.

Yes, it's the AV mode.

The set top box is on.

Kája, if you fix it, you can watch the rest of the match here.

Oh, you're afraid you might miss a goal. You're a prick, really.

GOALIE'S MITT

TODAY, ICE-HOCKEY: CZECH REP. VS SLOVAK REP

The cable TV isn't working!

You have to go to Hrabyně to watch the hockey.

Well, come in then.

Let's sit down.

Klára, the taxi's gone and there's no other pub around here.

Do you want to trudge somewhere in high-heels now?

It's a stupid habit anyway.

Weddings?

No, kidnapping a bride.

Wait, I thought it's the best man

who kidnaps the bride, not her maid of honour.

Well, the best man can be a woman, you see?

Don't be such a chauvinist.

One's working environment influences up to 5% of one's personality.

It's none of her business that you're the best man!

We breathe with our clients.

Oh my god, it's you, isn't it?

I thought so from the beginning.

- Yeah. - What?

Well, “we breathe with our clients.” She acted in that bank commercial...

Yes, I recognized her right away.

She's just said the line from it. “We breathe with our clients.”

So what?

What would you like to have?

Was it supposed to be funny that she said the line from the commercial?

Don't think about it.

Rum, vodka...

You think that because I'm married now I've lost my sense of humour, don't you?

Whiskey, or...

Explain it to me!

Yes, it was a good joke.

She said it with the same intonation, sort of sarcastically.

It's clear that she thinks the commercial is stupid.

And why wouldn't she use the same intonation anyway?

Well, it was simply funny at that moment.

I still don't understand it.

No, it's not funny now. It was just a momentary joke, you know.

Like today, when the priest asked if anyone had something to say,

Roman covered Tomáš's mouth as he pretended to be about to

say something really important.

But Roman and Tomáš are Štěpán's best friends.

Why should they object to anything?

Well, that's what the joke was about.

You didn't see it, so you don't find it funny now.

So Tomáš had an objection?

Klára, don't think about it. So...

Štěpán, look at me.

I hope there are all of you...

Stand still and don't move...

- Great, and now look at me. - Štěpán looks really smart, doesn't he?

Tomáš kept touching me when we were playing water volleyball.

What?

Well, when we were at his house with the swimming pool,

he grabbed my hips and also my ass a little several times.

You must be kidding!

So maybe it was that kind of joke which in fact is not really a joke.

And if you had known about it, you wouldn't have laughed either.

Wait, why didn't you tell him something in the pool?

Well, I didn't mind at first,

I kind of liked it,

but then when he touched me again,

I wanted to tell him “Tomáš, stop touching me.”

But he would have said

in front of them all: “Why didn't you say that earlier?

And that would have been a problem.

Because my Štěpán would have said: “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Touching up my girlfriend?” But then he'd have realized:

“Why didn't you say that earlier?” Do you get it?

- So, what will you have? - Well, a shot of vodka then.

A glass of white wine, please.

- To be honest, our white wine is really disgusting. - Sorry?

- And it causes flatulence. - You must be joking.

Would you be happier if I hadn't told you?

So, should I get a beer?

Ladies, I'll make a cocktail for you. It's called Icing.

Wait a minute, it's not even on the menu.

Well, I must drink something too, you know.

And can you really mix it?

You mean just because I'm an actress?

No.

I can even read while being an actress, you see?

Well, I syllabify in fact, like all actresses do.

But I can read!

BAR SER-VICE!

Jesus, I have nothing against actresses!

I don't think that all actresses, singers and similar women are sluts!

At last!

But when you watch music videos, it's no longer about singing at all.

It's just girls wallowing in mud in thongs and bras.

I can be sexy, too.

But in a sophisticated fashion, you know.

Maybe I'm old fashioned,

but every woman should have some secrets.

Even in a bar a man should make a woman feel like he's able to

spend the rest of his life with her before he gets into her panties.

I have never opened my legs to anyone just like that.

I always thought he was the right one.

Well, I was stupid, true, but I really thought so.

And today I am rewarded.

Here I am in my wedding dress and I'm happy.

And I think it's also because I'm not a floozy.

Floozies can't even recognize the right one amongst all the idiots.

I'm not a floozy of the night, I'm a bride!

And I'm so happy!

He played hockey for Vítkovice, the Top League.

We met when we were shooting a TV commercial for shavers.

He shaved his chin, I shaved my legs.

I thought it was a cliché.

To get a hockey player while shooting a commercial, but... then we had a break.

- So? And? - And he was so sensitive...

- A hockey player? Sensitive? - Well, he was a goalkeeper.

- They are sensitive in the goal. - But he was married.

Well, probably not as happily as your husband.

And you didn't feel bad about his wife?

What is it like to fight for somebody knowing all along

that you're in fact stealing him?

Klára, you can't take it like that.

When you fall in love with someone, you just go for it.

You don't take hockey players' wives into consideration.

Well, I was a hockey player's wife too.

Okay, but they usually date models, don't they?

Yes, or actresses.

It doesn't matter, I just don't get how anyone can steal a married man

and still have a good night's sleep.

Well, I didn't try to get him at all.

He came to my dressing room after a match

against Sparta or Slavia, brought me a flower and spoke to me.

And you listened to him!

Yes, but listening is not seduction, is it?

Listening? That's much worse than sleeping with him right away!

Klára!

But then one day, blah blah blah,

a hockey-stick, blah blah blah,

icing or what,

”I don't have a match today, I've come just because of you.”

How amazing!

And then he said his wife was a cow.

- Alright, I see... - And that he'd marry me if I wanted.

Jesus, that's so desperate!

Come on, Klára, what's desperate about it?

- Well, what next? - You know, sportsmen

- They are kind of simple... - Right.

It was actually so stupid that it made sense and I said “yes”.

- It's so romantic. - He bought a flat in Prague and this pub.

And I sucked as an actress, so I was here

helping him and everything was fine.

And where is he now?

Yeah, the end was quite tragic.

What do you mean by tragic?

Canadian goal keepers typically go for the puck even behind the goal,

and Czech goalies, including my Marek, started doing it as well some time ago.

But it's dangerous, as the goalie is not protected behind the goal area

and someone can knock him down.

- Someone knocked him down? - Yes, against the dasher boards.

- Wait, did he die? - Oh no!

No, it was just a concussion, but he went absolutely nuts.

- I see. - He made another commercial,

for a can of deodorant. A radio commercial.

And shagged a newscaster in the studio.

Well, I don't even know what she looks like,

she works for a radio station, you see?

Well, that sucks. So why haven't you changed the decor?

Well, this is a hockey pub. People come here to watch ice hockey.

If I changed it, I would go bankrupt.

And I can't start acting again, I haven't kept my hand in.

Excuse me.

I'm so sorry, really.

No worries.

Sorry.

Look, this is a very specific story,

not everyone's life is so fucked up.

I'm terribly sorry,

but your story made me cry,

because I realized how lucky I am.

Where is he? What's the time?

Half past five.

Jesus, it's half past five!

It's half past five, are we going?

Roman, we should go, are you ready?

I told you not to eat the ham rolls.

That's disgusting.

Tom, it's normal that people throw up at weddings.

No one will throw up at mine.

True, no one vomits at registered partnership ceremonies.

- Štěpán, I'm not gay. - I know.

- So stop it then. - Go away from the table at least.

- Really! - Shall we?

- It seems it'll take a while. Let's go - Let's go.

Damn it.