American Dad!

Now, what if I seat Stan next to Greg?

It's aggressive, it's bold, and I love it.

Francine, may I just say, using custom chess pieces

to plan a dinner party...

I'm having the time of my life.

Well, I'm not.

No matter how I play it out,

three or four moves down the line,

Klaus ruins my party by talking about

Dan Bilzerian or 3-D printed guns

or something else douchey.

I need to go deeper.

Horse tranquilizer, m'lady?

Okay!

Tuttle mingles with you...

Genius move, Francine.

I could see us talkin' a little dog racing.

But look over here at Parker Deay.

Parker... Parker... Who is that?

Screams "Zooka Sharks" a lot.

The guy who takes Tinder dates out

for hot-dog dinners at 7-Eleven?

Love him. Okay, let's play this out.

Good, good!

Your eyes are sliding around, so I assume it's working.

Bacon-wrapped dates!

Lava hot and wrapped real loose!

- Where did everyone go? - They left.

Klaus changed your Spotify playlist

to a Marc Maron podcast from 2015.

This one is classic!

His guest is a comedian you've never heard of.

Classic!

Good morning, U.S.A.

I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day

The sun in the sky has a smile on his face

And he's shinin' a salute to the American race

Oh, boy, it's swell to say

- Good... - Good morning, U.S.A.

Good morning, U.S.A.

Mom, your guests are arriving!

One second!

Just finishing up the table assignments!

Greg goes here, Tuttle here, and Klaus sits here.

He-he-he-he-he.

Welcome to my dinner party!

It's wonderful to see you all again.

But maybe some of you don't know Hayley's friend Nerfer.

Don't just stand there, introduce yourself.

I'm Nerfer. I'm Hayley's friend.

I already said that. What else?

I work at the Old Spaghetti Factory,

but the new location, which is pretty hilarious,

because old and new are opposite words.

Okay, that's enough. You can listen, too.

Let's eat!

The salad looks delicious. Nice produce.

- Is this from my store? - God, no.

But this tomato looks so familiar.

Look, I didn't steal it from your store on Tuesday!

Francine, you need to do something.

Klaus's table is turning into the damn Last Supper.

You hear "Bermuda Triangle" and you think ""

but it really is a beautiful area.

It's crazy lush.

I never thought of it that way.

That's so interesting, Klaus!

The world's a big, interesting place.

I just try to keep my eyes open, you know?

Would you do your Will Arnett impression again?

I really shouldn't... "Oh, come on!"

Is everybody laughing at Klaus?

No, we're laughing with Klaus.

So, you dogs are hungry for laughs?

Well, roll over. You got a bone coming your way.

Hello. I'm Mrs. Walrus.

Anyone have any fish for me?

Are those tampons in your mouth?

Oh, tamp on!

He winked at me, Stan!

That little asshole winked!

- At me! - Who winked?

Klaus! He ruined my dinner party!

- He did? - Of course he did!

He monopolized every conversation

I tried to butt into!

Well, he's been working on his people skills.

I think everybody really likes the new Klaus.

Yeah, I'd like to "nuke Klaus," too.

All the way back to the stone age.

Sounds like you're a little jealous Klaus

got all the attention at your party.

Oh, yeah?

Well, it sounds like you're wasting dental floss, you idiot!

I'm sorry I said you were upset, my love.

Help me out with something, guys.

Klaus sucks, right?

I'm gonna have to reluctantly disagree.

Have you talked to him about early cartoons?

He's super knowledgeable.

He's seen basically every Pluto short on Disney+.

And all the Goofy features.

Why's everyone obsessed with Klaus?

I wouldn't say "obsessed."

He's just... I dunno... Likable, I guess.

Have you heard him rap? He's pretty good.

But you are what you eat, so I'm a vagina

That means I eat

The guy's an urban poet.

Nobody likes you, Klaus.

Oh, hey, Francine. Sick dinner party last night.

I don't know what all "this" is,

but I want it to stop right now.

Stan told me you were upset.

Look, I know I used to be a real piece of shit.

Guilty!

But, Francine, I've grown a lot.

Oh, got a giant sequoia over here.

All right, Mr. Growth, I'm gonna throw a real party tomorrow.

A real party for bad bitches.

We'll see who gets more attention.

What the am I looking at?

Now this is a party.

Everyone, give me your attention!

I think we can all agree

last night's dinner party was terrible.

I liked your dinner party.

No, you didn't, Greg. I'll tell you what you like.

Keg stands!

No, I'd rather not.

Grab his other leg, Roger.

Oh!

The tap's broken!

You gotta drink the whole keg!

It's not broken!

Shut up, freshman scum!

Ummm, Franny...?

Is this mahogany?

Thanks for noticing, Tuttle. It's not.

Oh, Nerfer, the other night, you mentioned you like

hoppy IPAs, so I whipped up a home brew

I think you'll enjoy.

That's hecka posh.

Tuttle, Nerfer, what the hell?!

This is my party!

You're supposed to be paying attention to me!

Klaus is more interesting than you, okay?!

You need to learn to accept that!

I didn't want to do this, but you left me no choice.

Gimme those!

Everyone look at me!

The Amah-zing Francine will attempt

a never-before-seen roof-to-pool jump!

Is Mom okay?

Oh, yeah, better than ever.

Women are complicated, Steve. Don't drink that.

I'm gonna leave.

I'm gonna take off, too.

Is everyone okay to drive?

I can call each of you a vintage Yellow Cab.

Shut up, Klaus!

Nobody's leaving!

I'm about to jump!

3...

2...

Well, at least she still has her dignity.

I pooped my swimsuit!

I stand by my previous statement.

Easy now. You had quite a fall.

I saw them. My ancestors!

All my dear, departed loved ones who died.

They spoke to me.

They told me they were just as confused

as I was why anybody likes you.

Even the caveman Francine!

People like me because I work on myself, Francine.

I've been following a strict lifestyle regimen

developed by Mark Wahlberg.

It forces me to grow physically,

mentally, spiritually, metaphysically, metaspiritually,

super-meta-spiri-physi- tastically!

Okay, I made that one up as a joke.

I'm funny now, too.

I can't believe I'm asking you this, but...

will you teach me how to grow, too?

Of course! Congrats!

You're officially enrolled in Klaus college,

a satellite campus of Wahlberg U.

Klaus, it's 2:00 a.m.

You're on Wahlberg time now.

As you can see, the schedule is rigorous.

You'll start and end the day with a 5-mile run.

In between, you'll be reading self-help books,

meditating, belting out sea shanties,

learning basic IT, more shanties,

eating Wahlburgers, mastering Krav Maga,

and you might even cook an exotic dish or two.

This is crazy.

There's no way Mark Wahlberg does all that.

And then some.