Glee

Here's what you missed on Glee.

The New Directions are headed to nationals in Los Angeles.

Sue gave Mr. Schue an ultimatum. If they don't win, the club is finished.

- William Michael Schuester! - He says he knows a championship team when he sees one.

- You guys are ready. - Although last time I counted, they don't have enough members.

They better scare up three band members stat.

Finn led the Glee Club to victory last year, but now they don't have a leader.

And they also don't have Rachel or Kurt. Or Santana. Or Brittany.

Or Mercedes. Or Rory, the Irish kid. Where'd he go?

They're also up against a performing arts school where they don't even take classes...

and they're all, like, acrobats and contortionists.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

- Hey, you wanted to see me? - Yeah. Have a seat.

I just wanna let you know. Even though I've kind of checked out of school...

since I'm not going to college, I'm totally committed to Glee Club, you know.

I've had Artie and Blaine drilling me, like, nonstop...

on the rights and lefts of the choreography...

and I've recruited three hot Cheerios to get us to 12-

You don't have to prove yourself to me, Sam.

Finn transformed this club when he joined up.

He wasn't just the male lead. He was... the captain of the football team.

He was the coolest kid in school. I mean, a real dude, you know?

He was our secret weapon at those competitions.

Other schools might have had their version of a Rachel or a Kurt...

but no one had a Finn.

Yeah, he- He made it seem pretty cool.

And when he recruited you, he wasn't just looking for another voice in here.

He was looking for someone to take his place after he graduated.

Someone to help lead all of these wonderful misfits.

I'm not Finn, Mr. Schue.

Finn was, like, a real leader, you know?

And so are you.

I'm gonna need you to be that guy when we get to L.A.

The kids want you to be that guy.

They're all waiting for you to see yourself the way they see you.

The new kids love you, and so do the older ones.

I'm sure that everything is gonna be fine once we get there.

But if the time comes and you need to step up...

I'm gonna be counting on you to get it done.

They're here.

- Hey! - Hey, guys.

We just wanted to come in and say that, uh...

Finn really cared about you guys, more than you know.

Finn always said that winning nationals...

was the greatest accomplishment of his life.

But I honestly believe that coaching you guys to winning...

- would have meant even more to him. - Yeah.

Now we're not saying go out there and win it for Finn.

That wasn't his style.

Um-What Finn would have said was...

this is the time of your lives right now.

You're never gonna forget it...

and in a moment, it's all gonna be over.

So no sad faces. No regrets.

Just go out there and have a blast...

and, you know, it'd be okay if you won the damn thing.

And the best part about it...

is that Burt and Carole have agreed to come with us as chaperones.

But I think before we go, we need a little mood music to send us off.

Brad?

Brad?

Yes, yes!

Ripped By mstoll

We love it!

We love it!

Sorry, sir. Can't release the rooms.

Don't look now, but I think someone famous just came in!

Even better! It's Mercedes Jones!

- I was hoping you'd make it! - Are you crazy? I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Ooh, I heard that you got a record contract because either Usher, Kelly Clarkson...

or Michael Jackson's daddy...

bought your album in a 7-Eleven parking lot.

I was selling my CD, Hell 2 the No, in a parking lot.

Now, I ain't gonna lie. Business was whack.

But then this Mexican lady bought one.

I think she felt sorry for me.

Turns out, that Mexican angel on earth was the housekeeper to Kanye West.

She gave it to Kanye, who gave it to Kim...

and she gave it to Ryan Seacrest, who gave it to Sony Records-

the Sony Records.

Next thing I know, I'm sipping Perrier with a bunch of rich dudes.

All right, I like this plan...

and I love that you guys like my songs.

So, yes, I'll write for the artists on your label.

But there is a catch, so listen up.

In exchange for six songs, I want my own album deal.

And I'm talking all the perks, all the P&A that you can muster...

and two music videos that you pay for.

And if it sells, I don't have to do a lame follow-up Christmas album.

Hold up.

- Is that dog alive? - Oh, it's a faux-huahua.

A fake Chihuahua.

- Mr. Schue, Mercedes is here! - Oh, hey, Mercedes.

- Hi! - I'd like to speak to a manager, please.

- What seems to be the problem here? - Well, one hour ago...

I got a call from Detective Sue Sylvester with the L.A.P. D...

saying that a 50-year-old Ohio man with a perm...

had abducted 12 emotionally disturbed teenagers...

and if he tried to make a reservation, I was to contact the F.B.I.

Oh, my God. That's them.

- Who? - Do you seriously have no idea who that is?

- Do none of you read the show choir blogs? - No, Blaine, we don't.

None of us read the show choir blogs. Just you.

That's Throat Explosion.

And that's their leader, Jean-Baptiste.

Jean-Baptiste was born in Quebec to acrobatic parents.

He trained at Cirque du Soleil before emigrating to Fort Wayne...

where he used his French-Canadian circus stylings...

to turn the entire show choir world upside down.

Bonjour! You must be the New Directions.

And you must be Blaine.

How did you know my name?

Show choir blogs.

I'm, you know-I'm Sam Evans, and I'm the leader of the New Directions.

And I know you guys are all really good and stuff...

but that's just gonna get us out of our comfort zones and send us over the top.

Well, it was really great to meet you, Sam.

Best of luck, New Directions. We really can't wait to see your set.

And crush you like a bug.

Bye!

Excuse me.

What is with the turtlenecks?

- That was tense. - Oh, how I miss the show choir high school drama.

Come on. Tell me all about it. Let's go.

Like a bug. That was good. He was right in my face.

Why didn't I think of that?

He smells like a winner.

- Another golden day of sunshine here in Los Angeles. - Hey, Marley, it's Ryder.

Can I come in for a minute?

- Hi. - Hi.

- Can I talk to you? - You can come in.

Okay.

Look, you and me are probably never gonna happen.

And, like, I'm slowly accepting that...

but that doesn't mean I don't care about you.

Or that I don't occasionally look at your Facebook page to check your status.

Single, and it's going to stay that way.

Talking about where you put what your job is.

It used to say "Singer-songwriter."

Now it just says "Undecided."

I entered my songs into this contest.

And you lost?

Worse.

I didn't hear back at all.

And I took that as-I don't know- a wake-up call.

Oh, come on. That's only one contest.

Actually, I've entered a bunch of contests, Ryder.

Anyway...

what's so wrong with joining Accounting Club when we get back?

Uh-

I'll tell you one thing. I think, uh, Accounting Club interferes with Glee Club.

Now, hold on. Are you planning on quitting Glee Club?

I didn't want to let anyone down.

And since this is going to be my swan song, I just want it to be fun.

So, please, don't tell anyone.

Are you sure we should be doing this?

- I mean, if we get caught- - Oh, just go!

Trust me, when I was in the Warblers...

sneaking onto stage the night before a show was tradition.

We had other traditions, but I can't really speak about 'em.

We're not doing anything wrong. We're just, you know...

getting a feel for the layout of the stage- our stage.

So should we sing a song or hold hands or say a prayer or something?

Because if I'm being honest, these ghost lights kind of freak me out.

All right, everybody, circle up. I have a surprise.

Finn Hudson made us a promise at the beginning of the year-

that we were all going back to nationals together.

Even when we lost sectionals, which was totally not Marley's fault...

Finn told us that it wasn't over.

He said that we'd be right here, together.

Now, maybe you're thinking, "Finn isn't here."

Well, he is. I made sure of it.

Well, well! Les Directions Nouveau!

Uh, apparently, we had the same plan for an illegal midnight rehearsal.

- "We"? You're alone. - Am I?

Existentially, yes, Blaine. Perhaps we are all alone.

But tonight- Tonight, this stage belongs to us...

from midnight until dawn.

You see, I called in a few show choir favors.

So, we'll just give you three minutes to gather your feelings and leave.

Who is that? Your spirit guide?

Dolph, enough. Have some respect.

Look, everyone knows you're that show choir.

And everyone knows it's been a very rough year for you.

And now everyone is just waiting...

and watching you.

Tonight, you have our condolences, New Directions.

But let's just be very, very clear.

Tomorrow, you will not have our mercy, pity or restraint.

We are Throat Explosion.

Expect us!

Seven, eight!

- How'd you learn how to do that? - Have you met my son Kurt?

I cannot believe this is our last competition. I am not ready for this to end.

- Do not start crying again. - I'm not gonna cry.

It's just that some of my best memories from Glee are these competitions.

Yeah, well, you know what? That's why guys love playing sports so much.

It's not so much about the winning and the losing.

It's about going to war with your buddies. You know? The camaraderie.

That's right. That's why you see a bunch of 50-year-old men humping around...