The Ricky Gervais Show

For the past few years Ricky Gervais,

Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington

have been meeting regularly

for a series of pointless conversations.

This is one of them.

- Testing. - Is that all right?

Hello and welcome to "The Ricky Gervais Show"

with me, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant...

- Hello. - ...And the little round-headed buffoon

that is Karl Pilkington.

Hi.

One prediction for the future, Karl,

is from an academic study

of what the world will be like in about 75 years from now.

And a big prediction they're sort of sure of

is that androgyny will rule.

But soon you won't even need a female or man in your life.

You'll just need the egg or sperm

and, uh, you'll be able to have any coupling you want

or not. Thoughts, Karl?

That isn't what I've heard.

What have you heard?

So you read an academic study, Rick.

Let's find out what Karl's been reading.

I heard we're, you know, we're all gonna go ugly.

Different point though, isn't it?

That's a completely different point.

Not listening to a word Ricky said. But go on.

It's just if we all sort of go ugly,

that will sort the population problem.

He gets an extra syllable in the word "ugly."

- Mmm. - "Ugaly."

Ugly. "Ugaly."

So that just sorts the population out

because people aren't sort of having their way.

That doesn't sort... What do you mean?

Sorry, Rick. I don't understand what the hell he said there.

Are you saying 'cause everyone's ugly

everyone won't want to have it away more with the ugly person?

- Yeah. - Okay, I still don't...

You seem to understand what he's talking about, Rick. I'm still confused.

What he thinks is that if we're all ugly,

then we'll still have this strange paradigm of beauty

that won't exist so we won't fancy anyone as much.

No no, they'll still sort of fancy...

Because at the end of the day, we're animals, aren't we?

- Yeah. - We'll still have it away.

But not as much as we like to do now

because it's all based on looks.

- But what's this go to do... - What's this world like?

Describe a typical town or country.

Exactly, right. Imagine London.

You've still got the Gherkin, you've still got the big wheel.

It's just that everyone's ugly.

Right. And they're doing all the same jobs, are they?

Everyone's still... Yeah. The world's got to carry on.

What do they look like? What's ugly?

Just imagine... like haven't you ever seen anyone

when you've just gone... Pew, look at that?

- Yeah. - Right, well, like that.

Yeah, but hold on. 'Cause it's not like...

Because we have got better looking, haven't we?

- If I look back now at a school photo... - Yeah.

...You look at my class and you go, "What was going on then?"

You can't tell the difference between some of the girls and blokes.

When he said we've got better looking,

I thought he was gonna talk about cavemen.

Not his school photo.

I mean, what happened to the...

There's been no evolution in that time.

What are you talking about, Karl?

We've got better looking now, haven't we?

But we will change. Probably not in 75 years.

I mentioned before about your little finger.

There'll come a time when that'll go.

I've said... I've watched it.

I've kept an eye on what my little finger's doing.

Sometimes it does nothing.

It never helps out. All the others are grabbing hold of stuff.

That one just sort of sits there watching.

So you could get rid of that and I think that will go in evolution.

Think of the books he could have read when he was doing that.

When he was monitoring his little finger.

"I've been watching my little finger."

But again, if you shaved a caveman, it's basically us.

- He's basically us. - He's basically Karl.

Yeah.

I think what's more interesting about the future, Karl,

is the fact that technology

integrated with humans will be fascinating.

So for instance, they're talking about the fact

that in the future we may even be able to have chips

in our head to allow us to access the Internet

or an equivalent of it directly, mentally.

- So imagine that. - Not French fries.

But hang on, though. At what point are we us then?

- There you are, this is good. - Keep going. Go on.

No, because if I... if I can go on the Internet anytime,

then that's gonna know more than me.

- What does that mean? - Okay.

When I don't know an answer to something now,

which is a lot of stuff...

- Really? - Go on.

You watch "University Challenge"

and the stuff them kids on that know,

I just think, "Where have they stored that?"

For me, if something doesn't get used within a time period,

that's it, it's forgotten.

But basically you've got about the same hardware as those people.

Honest to God, I haven't. I know I haven't.

So what I'm saying is

if I want to know the answer to something I go on the Internet.

- Yeah. - Right.

Now if I've got a chip in my head with Google on it,

I'm never gonna use my head.

I'll just be forever on Google.

"I'm never gonna use my head."

- I'm not. - What do you think your head is though?

I'm gonna get it wrong. The chances are I'll get it wrong.

So divert that. It's like, say in...

No no, you can't bypass the brain straight to Google.

When you're having a chat socially it's not like they go, "Alright, Karl, how are you?"

And you're not there. You're asleep and Google's talking.

"Oh, I think you'll find...

You want to see naked ladies? Come this way."

No, only for questions though that I don't know.

But what I'm saying is, 'cause I don't know a lot of the answers,

I'll just say forget it. Leave it connected to Google.

- No no. - So then I'm not me anymore.

Well, what are you doing? Where's you gone?

I'm looking at Google.

- So it is you? - No.

But what Steve just said is

- we'll have a chip in our head... - Right.

- ...That can access the Internet. - Right.

- So why bother using your knowledge? - You're still the go-between.

You, Karl, are the go-between

between the Internet and whatever your mouth says.

But you can't beat the Internet. It knows everything.

Where does Google get the information from in the first place?

Someone... one of them bright people on "University Challenge."

A human being. Yeah, a human being.

But I'm gonna get lazier.

I don't watch "University Challenge" and go,

"I want to be like them. I'm gonna start reading books."

I'm never gonna be like them. I can't play along.

All I tend to do is...

I say to Suzanne, "Every question now,

I'm gonna have 'egg' as the answer."

- And I'm hoping that one day... - What an amazing game.

What an amazing intellectual position that is.

What a lucky lady.

What does Suzanne say to that?

Well, she just sees if it works. She just plays along.

And then I'm saying, "Oh it might be this one, whatever.

I love that 'cause I remember once

it was about five years ago,

Karl and Suzanne were around near Christmas and me and Jane were there.

We were playing different parlor games like charades and that.

And then one game, you have to do that thing where

you have to be... and you have to do animals.

You have to go... First one is A then B.

So you say "Aardvark," next one goes "beaver,"

next one goes "cat." It came to Karl.

He panicked and he went "egg."

And he was all there.

So you're sat there watching "University Challenge"

and on a good night it's, you know, "Well-known jeweler

Faberge is well known for his jewel encrusted what? Egg."

"Humpty Dumpty's commonly pictured as being? Egg."

That's what I'm saying. If you keep saying the same thing,

eventually... It's like a broken watch.

- "Karl Pilkington's head looks like a?" - Yeah.

- I've just got more chance at getting it right. - Sure.

But also he told me when he plays "University Challenge,"

he says he's given up ever trying to get an answer.

So now he tries to guess who's gonna answer the question.

Another great thing Suzanne's roped in on.

Unbelievable. How'd you do with that?

I'm normally all right on that.

"I'm normally all right on that."

There's go to be something else to watch.

There's another evolution thing, though.

When you watch brainy people on that all wearing glasses...

- Yeah? - What does that tell you?

We are reading too much.

- We're wearing the eyes out. - Mmm.

- Maybe. - You can't argue with that,

- because the evidence is there. - Well, you can.

Okay, one more go. What do you mean?

- The chip in the brain... - Mmm.

...Isn't part of filling your head with stuff,

the journey of filling it with that stuff.

What do you mean?

Whereas if I just... say if you had a baby.

The baby pops out, it cries a bit.

They go, "Right, what do you want want your baby to be interested in?"

And you say, "I want it to be a plumber."

"Right, when it's two

we're gonna stick a plumber chip in its head."