Scratch My Back (Voor wat hoort wat)

Come on, we have to go.

Everyone ready?

-Mia? -Yeah.

OK. Showtime.

Mia...

...I think I need to pee.

Now is not the time, Gaby.

-I think the bedroom is upstairs. -I really do need to pee first.

-What? -Not now.

It's not something I can choose. It's the stress, it affects my bladder.

-You'll have to hold it in. -Do you know how unhealthy that is?

-I'm going to look for a toilet. -Gaby!

Fuck off!

Maggie?

Maggie?

"Service entrance"

Maggie?

-Oh, hello, Viviane. -Good morning.

-How was your weekend? -Fine.

How was your date

We went to Sea Life.

-And? -That says it all, doesn't it?

Aren't dolphins and seals romantic?

-You've got lots of mail again today. -Fan mail.

No, bills.

Put them on my desk. I'm going to have a shower first.

-Oh yeah, another thing... -Joyce, please, I stink to high heaven.

-Frans is in the office. -Ask him to wait, I'll be right back.

It's about Maggie.

Things have gone too far.

For the price we pay,

I expect nothing less than a perfect service.

But all I hear are complaints about all sorts of things.

Maggie is able to just walk out of here.

I think, and I'm not alone,

that you need to take on more staff, urgently.

There's nothing I'd like more, Frans, but it isn't easy to find good staff.

Times are difficult for everyone.

I have no choice but to make savings everywhere.

We will all have to make compromises.

Sorry, but I don't pay to make compromises.

I really am doing my best to find a solution.

-You could apply for subsidies, Viviane. -We aren't entitled to any.

We are a private retirement home.

What about a tax reduction?

Frans, I've already tried everything.

I don't care how you do it, just do it.

So that everything here is as it should be.

Can't we just increase what we charge the residents?

I've already had to increase it twice this year.

I can't keep doing it.

-And Alain? -No.

You're not going to sell the place, are you?

No, no. Stupid question.

Maybe I know a way.

Maybe I know how we can solve the staff shortage here.

It is a little bit out of the box.

Delinquents?

Let delinquents do community service here?

Frans, it's not as if we are going to bring in a bunch of murderers.

It would be minors who have been up to no good...

...and who, instead of going to prison, do something useful for society.

No way. I'm moving if you do.

-Where to? -I'd rather go and live in a caravan.

-Among... -Plebs.

One of them may be a rapist.

I don't think you need to worry about that.

Watch what you're saying, bitch.

-This is a luxury retirement home. -Yes, this is a luxury retirement home.

-What are you trying to say? -They don't belong here.

-Why not? -Isn't that obvious?

Not to me.

If we want to maintain the same standard of service,

there is another solution.

We can all just pay a bit more.

-Pay even more? -It won't kill any of us.

You forget that most of us lost a lot of money due to the banking crisis.

-If you visit casinos... -Are you a communist or something?

You can think that if you like, Paula.

-Honestly! -I don't have a problem...

-...paying a bit more. -No, I don't think so.

We already pay a lot.

And money doesn't grow on trees, banking crisis or not.

To be honest, money doesn't grow on my trees either.

We could organize a benefit evening, a mussel dinner.

No, an oyster banquet. That's more appropriate for here.

Shouldn't you be a bit more positive, Mr Dutchman,

instead of laughing at everything?

Frans, I've had it up to here with all the crap about a few cents more or less.

I certainly don't want to leave here.

They won't get me in one of those sad old people's homes.

Not ever.

Life is comfortable here.

We couldn't be anywhere better.

If no solution is found, Viviane will have to sell the place.

God knows what will happen then.

Will it become a nursing home?

An assisted living complex?

That'll be the end of the concerts, the outings,

the cosy chats over an aperitif.

We'll be eating pre-chewed food off those plastic trays.

And the toilet paper will be replaced with sandpaper.

We don't want that.

I just thought I'd say...

I think we should take a vote on it. I vote against.

For.

Sorry, may I change my mind?

I'm for.

Honestly, Gaby, that's not allowed. Viviane?

Motion passed.

Identity card, please.

-Need a lift? -No, I'll wait for the bus.

Since when do they come on time? Come on, get in.

Sverre, promise me you'll behave yourself.

Talk about common!

If she were my daughter...

-Bye, Mum. -Sverre, honey, shall I come too?

What has he done that he shouldn't have?

He looks so well-behaved.

Hi.

Don't be taken in.

He's probably the most terrifying of the lot.

Here, that's for you.

-What for? -Because you left us out of it.

I don't forget things like that.

With Dominic's compliments.

Dominic is Dominic.

Don't worry, I'll take care of the car.

Really?

Kemal speaking. Yes, Dominic.

Now or what? OK, fine.

This is the terminus. I've got a job to do.

-Yuri, pull over. -What? Here?

Don't forget, kid.

I take care of you and you take care of me.

That's the only way we can get out of the shit, OK?

Drive.

Roxy, you can sit there with the others. I'll come and get you in a minute.

What's up, sweetheart?

This was a good decision, wasn't it?

Of course. What can go wrong?

Good morning.

I'm Viviane Speltinckx, manageress of La Belle Epoque.

-Sverre. -Sverre.

-D'Hooghe. -D'Hooghe.

-I'm Amber. -Amber.

-Roxy. -Roxy.

Right. Can you come into my office?

Weren't there four of them?

Come on, come on, come on... Come on.

Please? Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Are we going to wait?

What's the time?

Twenty past.

-We'll start, eh? -Yes, start.

Right.

I'd like to start by saying we are very pleased...

...you are coming to help us here.

We hope you are looking forward to it too.

I believe in a second chance,

and La Belle Epoque wants to give you that.

Seeing as we will be working closely together,

it's important that a number of things are clearly understood before we start.

First and foremost... treat all residents with respect.

We also set great store on tidiness and politeness.

And punctuality, of course.

"Service entrance"

Joyce here is the one who will arrange all the practicalities.

That's it.

I have the feeling we will get on well together.

Does anyone have any questions?

What time can we go home?

-Nouri? -Yilmaz.

Mr Yilmaz, pleased you decided to join us.

You can get changed here in the morning and evening.

You're joking.

Those are your uniforms. Take a set, they are unisex.

-I don't like uniforms. -It's the rule.

I don't like rules either.

Acting childishly really isn't going to help you.

I can always call your probation officer.

Do they still make these?

-Madam? -Yes?

-May I have a lock on my locker? -Why?

He's Moroccan.

Do you think he got that watch by working hard?

Roxy...

That's so... Firstly, I'm Turkish, not Moroccan.

And secondly, drugs were sold on the beach?

Must have been a Turk.

Someone was mugged? Must have been a Turk.

Someone shot the Pope? Must have been a Turk.

The last one actually was a Turk, I think.

Come on, that'll do, guys.

-Would you like some more coffee? -No.

A chocolate spread sandwich? Maggie?

They've arrived. I've seen them.

Three of them. And one of the girls... A whore! And the other one...

Did you see the Parisienne?