Trying

Kids, they'll be here soon.

Kids?

- You ready? -

Oh, you look lovely.

You okay?

I can't do this up.

- Let's have a look. -

Mum normally does it.

I know she does, darling, but she's not here.

There you go.

Come here now.

It's gonna be a tough day, all right?

But we'll get through it together.

Hello. Hey, I got more tissues,

made some nice friends.

Crying in public is just a great way to meet new people.

Oh, my gosh. I can't believe I nearly missed a hug.

Mmm.

Right.

Are we ready for this?

- Not really. - Not at all. No.

No. No, me neither.

There you go.

You okay?

I can't do this on my own, Nikki.

But you're not on your own. I'm here.

I just...

Give it here.

I can never open 'em.

- There you go, sweetheart. Where's Scott? - Thank you.

- Oh, he's parking the car. - Oh.

- Will it be okay here? - Yeah, no. Mine's never been stolen.

Oh, I know. But you've got a...

Okay.

I've ran and got plenty of tissues anyway.

Why? Are you ill?

- No, it's 'cause of the... -

Oh... ...that might be Mum. Bless her.

- Oh. - Hi, Karen.

- Hiya. - Thank you.

Come here.

Oh, we're hugging again. Great.

Hi, Jill, love. You all right?

I'm sorry I'm late, but John always used to drive.

I'm not used to doing everything on me own.

No, it's okay. Don't worry.

- Life of its own. -

You all right, John? How's the arm?

Yeah, fine.

This one hurts quite a lot though.

Okay, come on.

- - Hi. Uh, you okay, mate?

Did you get my message?

- I did, yeah. No one's gonna hug you. - Good.

We know today must be hard for you.

- Why? - A funeral.

Must bring back memories of Sandra's.

It's been two years.

Oh, Vic.

Is he all right?

- -

- He misses Freddy. - Yeah.

Okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

You know you can still talk to him.

I'm not doing that, Nikki. It's mad.

He never puts his data roaming on when he's in Mykonos.

It'll cost me a bloody fortune.

Okay. We've got to go. Otherwise, I'll start hugging your dad again.

- Yep. - All right.

Shall we?

- Yeah, let's... let's... let's go. - Yeah. Okay.

Guys, we don't know how many people are gonna be there, all right?

But that doesn't mean that she wasn't loved.

Just remember, it's not about how many people love you,

it's about how deeply...

- - the ones that love...

- Wow. -

- No. - What?

No, I don't think she's gonna turn up.

- Who's this, then? - But we don't know that.

- Who we talking about? - It's been way too long.

- Who's that, then? - Kat.

Tyler and Princess's birth mum.

Every birthday and Christmas we worry that she's gonna turn up...

- And she never does. - But, Jase, it's her mum's funeral.

Yeah, but no one's heard from her for years.

Even Bev couldn't find her, bless her.

And do you know what? I doubt we'd even recognize her.

- Well... - Okay, she's brought a photograph.

- That's great. - No. I always carry it with me.

Well, that's not any better.

Look, she's not gonna turn up. Ever.

Oh, don't. That's when someone does show up though, isn't it?

Like when you say something like that, like, right in that moment.

Boo.

Where's, um...

- Okay, say the opposite. - What?

Say the opposite. He's right, it's out there now.

- Oh, my God. - It's tempting fate. Untempt fate.

Do you know what? I really think Kat's gonna come back.

In fact, I'm... I'm very worried about it.

- Okay. It's better. - Yeah? Is that better?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Oh, will you go and speak to Barry? - Who's Barry?

Barry. Bev's friend. From the hospital.

Oh, no. Please don't make me talk to that guy.

- No, he's terrifying. - No, he's lovely.

That's just his demeanor. He's old East End.

- He's dangerous. - No, he's not dangerous.

He's gonna stab me.

He's not gonna stab you if you don't give him a reason to.

Yes.

Is she a bit young for a funeral?

She's five.

God, you sound like the people at the archery center.

Should we sit there?

I always worry about my phone going off, so I've put it on silent.

Oh, okay.

I left it in the car.

Well, you'll probably be okay then.

Jessica.

What's that?

It's Bev's dead body in a box.

We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Beverly Reid.

If I could ask everyone to stand for "Angels" by Robbie Williams.

- - Oh, bloody hell.

We knew our gran, and then we didn't,

- and then we did again. -

She was the funniest, fieriest person I have ever met...

So Bev, or should I say, the Beast of Bow,

as she was known due to her career at the local abattoir.

Having achieved all she could in the world of wholesale meat slaughter,

Bev made something of a gear change, heading to America with her mandolin.

Escaping on foot after being kidnapped on the Burmese border.

A passion for flamenco dancing that led her to Buenos Aires

- and into the arms of her third husband... - What?

The choreographer Emiliano Núñez.

What's he saying? It's not true.

And to finish, a short message from the lady herself.

Right. So, did he read all that nonsense?

No, he's a nice boy, but he kept emailing me for something to say.

So, I got Gloria to write some old rubbish.

I know she's got a tale in her 'cause I've seen her tax returns.

Anyway, I've already said what needs saying to the people it needs saying to.

There's a 500 quid tab at The Tap and Bells under my name.

So, I'll thank you all for coming and have a drink on me.

You okay?

I miss her.

Yeah?

Do you wanna take something to remember her by?

The order of service maybe or...

Hmm.

Well, we did say she'd always be with us.

Yeah.

Hello, Scott's phone and Scott.

Nope.

Scott. Come on.

Yep.

Oh, I'm... I'm gonna stop you right there, sir.

I'm very, very happy with the broadband deal I've got.

Look at this.

Oh, no, it's one of them.

Ooh. Bit rough in here.

- Aw, this is so lovely. - Yeah.

Just the whole community coming together.

- Every single person is just so happy. - Right.

Give me the nod when you wanna make a move.

- And he's gone. Okay. -

Lenny. Landlord.

- How are ya, mate? - How are ya?

- Yeah, Jason. There's Nikki. Princess. - Hello. Hi.

- Hi. - Now, listen,

I know the old girl meant the world to ya.

So, we're gonna be seeing her off in style.

I got a piano man who knows 250 cockney songs.

Ooh.

It's not all that, sweetheart. They all use the same three chords.

Oh.

Now, a few pointers for keeping safe.

Don't look at Mikey,

but if it does happen, don't look away first.

Go to the toilet in twos.

And whatever you do, don't ask Dean what he was inside for.

He don't mind talking about it, you just don't wanna know.

- Okay. Can we have, um, two... He's gone. - Oh! Excuse me.

Mom?