18 Again!

[POLICE DISPATCHER SPEAKING INAUDIBLY OVER RADIO]

Cops!

Cops!

What?

Cops!

Give me the paint.

Are they gone yet?

-No, I think they're waiting over there

to take us out for some donuts later.

Give me the paint.

Oh, Dan, I'm sorry.

Now the can.

-See you later in History-- class.

Hi Grandpa.

Squid!

-What is it you do at night, Watson?

Whatever it is, pledge, stop it.

That's right.

Where's my Art History paper?

It's almost done.

What's it on?

Uh, Cezanne, the impressionist.

Like Rich Little.

Sort of.

Give us 20.

No, no.

Leave the backpack on.

And one, all the way down.

Two-- keep your back straight.

Three.

Very good.

Here's a little incentive.

Now, you all have your assignments

for the midterm paper?

Yeah.

Every student has been

assigned a topic entirely at random.

-Look, you think it's love but it's merely lust.

Merely?

-What do you know about her, huh?

-Well, she has a head on her shoulders, for one thing.

-Most of her appendages seem to be properly placed,

I'll give you that.

OK, you got me there.

But remember who she goes out with.

Just forget it, OK?

Robin?

-Um, I guess I'm just a little disappointed, professor.

You are?

Well, yeah.

You see I-- I was sort of hoping that I could do

my thesis on the Kennedy administration.

Now why is that, dear?

Because he was cuter than Truman?

No.

Because I-- I feel the air is more

relevant to current history.

-And of course, you don't know as much about Truman, do you?

No.

-Well, we are here to learn, are we not?

I'm sure you'll find Harry Truman to be very stimulating.

Everybody wants your girl.

Shut up.

Come on, look--

Shut up.

Look at the--

Shut up!

-The subject is a specialty of mine, as you know, Robin.

So I'll be able to give you guidance.

Input.

Thank you.

Pick up the pace, boys!

Come on, run!

[VARIOUS FEMALE VOICES YELLING ENCOURAGEMENT]

Get out my way, man.

You're slowing me down.

I'm not kidding, man.

Go!

That was a bad break.

Look out!

Are you OK?

Yes, I'm fine.

Hey, aren't we, um, I mean, you in my American History class?

Yeah, I think so.

And how do you like it?

Class or history?

Uh--

Class, uh, I'm not crazy about.

Professor Swivet?

But I love History.

It's my major.

-It's your major and you love it?

Mm-hmm.

That's a new one.

What about you?

Me?

Uh, my major is Business.

Oh.

-But I'm-- I'm really not interested--

Hey babe!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Tough break out there, man.

But, uh, that's the way they fall sometimes, huh?

Excuse me.

I didn't even tell her my name.

I am a dweeb.

Squids!

I'm, uh, here to see my father at uh--

my brilliant son here yet?

Yes sir.

Send him in.

-I'll thank you to treat me with a little more respect, sir.

-You have to press the button if you want your dad to hear you.

I know how it works.

Send David in as soon as he gets here.

Dad?

I know you thought the duck phones

were a mistake from the beginning.

I know I said my department could guarantee moving at least

500,000 units in the first year.

I don't feel, though, that we're reaching

the ideal consumer: Duck hunters.

-When a duck hunter sees a duck, he wants to shoot it.

He doesn't want to talk into its ass.

It might answer back.

Any way you earn sales.

Just sell the damn things.

What have you got there?

-Oh, well, uh, these are some blueprints I drew up for, uh,

retooling the--

Retooling?

What are you doing down there, pretending to be a designer?

Is that why you keep screwing up?

What else are you pretending to be, an astronaut?

Well, come down to Earth, I need you here.

You're late.

All I ask of you is two afternoons a week

at 3:30, sharp.

Is that so much to ask, really?

But you would rather hoist some beers with your frat buddies

or pal around with your track teammates.

What's funny?

Do you know what most people would

give to have a solid accounting position

in a company like this?

Waiting for--

Give the kid a break.

Hello, David.

Hey, grandpa.

What kept you this time?

Track practice again.

What was your time?

4:56.

4:56?

What is it with only one broken leg?

No, he's right.

I could do better.

So could Oprah Winfrey.

All right, dad.

He didn't inherit your legs.

-That's because I'm still using them.

4:56.

When I was your age I ran a 4:56.

But I had Lucy Mulhaney on my back and a beer in each hand.

4:56.

I'll see you both tonight.

Why am I leaving?

It's my office.

Out, kids.

4:56.

Heh!

Happy Birthday, Jack!

Ma'am?

Here we go.

Betty!

Oh!

-I've never seen you look better.

-Oh, I hope this doesn't mean your eyesight is failing.

Not at all, not at all.

Getting stronger.

I still can't figure out how my son here hooked you.

Did he put something in your drink?

Dad!

That's a joke, kid.

Lighten up.

I'm glad you both could make it.

Make it?

Oh!

Oh, you mean the party.

The party, yeah.

Are you kidding?

We wouldn't miss this for--

-Holly Bravemiller, it's good to see you.

Happy Birthday, sweetheart.

--For anything.

Hello, everybody!

Let the games begin!

-She should be thankful she's not young as she says she is.