Taxi 5

Bang on time!

Thank you for choosing Hamid Taxis.

I hope the trip was as beneficial for you

as it was for us.

However, we won't be seeing you soon.

Sorry, I have to take this.

Who can it be?

Hello? Unc?

Uncle Hamid?

Who's this?

Eddy, your nephew.

Hey, what can I do for you?

I need the taxi or I'm a dead man.

Sorry, you're dead then.

Uncle Hamid, don't do this to me. It's really important...

Junior, I'm losing you. I'm in a tunnel.

What tunnel?

Anyway, the telephone's broken.

It's bust!

It's you who draws wee-wees on my ride?

Here, take that!

The next person who I got,

he'll have me to deal with.

Got that?

5 years our Most Wanted and I collar you.

- You just got me promotion. - Bullshit. You got the wrong man.

One week earlier.

Tell it to the Chief.

We'll take a shortcut so we don't keep him waiting.

Like I give a bag of dicks.

If that's how it is.

Do you mind a little music?

Gimme a break.

Let's do this.

Don't say your forgot your seatbelt?

How can I put it on handcuffed?

What's the idea? - A problem?

What the heck! No!

Hold on tight!

What do you want?

Damn, wrong way. U-turn!

Stop!

Stop! I did it!

It was me! You win!

Slow down!

What's wrong with it?

Eyes on the road!

I'll talk. It was Jimenez!

- Tell me... - Don't take your eyes off the road!

It was him all along.

Look, no hands!

Just knees!

Use your hands!

What else? His address?

Hotel Paradise, Saint-Denis!

Room 312!

Like the trip?

No, don't!

Watch me.

Just the one hand!

Next delivery?

On Saturday. - What time?

3 o'clock.

You aced it.

Say hi to the camera.

Shit!

Chief, guess who's Cop Monthly cover model.

Yours truly.

That's worth a transfer to a SWAT unit.

Sit down, Marot.

I'll gloss over what your vehicle costs

in rubber after every mission.

Only tires. - There's a more serious issue.

Go ahead.

Do you know Christelle Bucherot?

Christelle? I've known quite a few Christelles.

The Christelle Bucherot

you spent last night with.

Christelle!

Of course!

How is she? I had to leave early.

Shut it, Marot.

Who's Commissioner?

The Commissioner?

Our Commissioner?

Our Commissioner is Jean-Bertrand...

Bucherot.

That's right. Bucherot.

That's funny, same last name as Christelle.

Could be they're family or...

even married?

She's his wife.

She kept that quiet.

Your excellent record kept you in law enforcement,

but the Commissioner ordered your transfer.

Not to a SWAT unit, I guess?

No, not at all.

Community Police.

In Marseille.

Marseille down south?

That's pretty inconvenient. Living in Paris,

it's a long...

Marot, deal with it.

Dismissed.

Heart of stone.

Marseille.

All good? Settled in?

I guess.

Meet the team.

You'll feel better then.

Sure? - Sure. A crack team.

Hyper-dynamic.

Hotshots. To begin...

The big guy over there,

with a beard, looks a bit weird.

That's Menard.

Menard puts the fun in police.

It doesn't show, but he's cool, open-minded.

A goofball, always pulling pranks when he's bored.

He's easily bored.

Red alert! Let's move out!

What do you think this is? A hookah bar?

Menard, you bastard!

They take midgets in the police?

Sylvain, show some respect. We don't say midget.

Alright.

We say little person. It matters.

So, the midget's name is Michel.

He's crazy about anything miniature, model toys and so on.

He doesn't look like a Michel.

I know, yes. His real name's Abdelrahman.

Since he converted to Christianity, he goes by Michel.

Really? - Absolutely.

He's born again.

He celebrates every feast day. Easter, the Ascension,

Pentecost, Christmas. Nativity scenes everywhere.

It's tough.

And when he sees nuns, he freaks.

He's unstoppable.

Radicalized?

It's exhausting, seriously.

And over there,

the pervy-looking guy, that's Regis.

Don't make eye contact.

No eye contact?

No, none. Please. - Really?

Regis has a thing for espionage.

He began spying on his wife. She left him.

No kidding. - Right.

No eye contact.

He's our ace geolocalizer.

He is?

Any girls in the unit?

I was coming to that.

You'll love this.

At 3 o'clock.

A sight for sore eyes.

- Sandrine, the bombshell of the unit. - Bombshell?

Watch out, she's a maneater.

Miss Community Police pageant winner.

2013, 2014, 2015.

She's something else.

Yup, something else.

Heavy-duty. - Very Heavy-duty.

Check that out!

Alain...

With regard to vehicles, how are you equipped?

You're into cars? - Yes.

You're in for a treat.

Hungry, right?

This is Unit 14, we're gonna hit the beach.

Aren't you kinda missing a door?

Sure, it's in the shop.

People forget door maintenance. It's crazy.

You're shitting me!

No, it's in the shop.

I'm all bent out of shape here.

Don't start.

I'm not taking no shit.

You watched the game? - No time.

The game? Did you see the game?

I didn't. That's my girlfriend, sorry.

Yes, sugar.

How's my little Eddy bear?

Good. With a fare right now.

I'm home alone. Daddy's away.

Stop by for a little hug.

Whoa, she's hot to trot.

I told Rene I'd stop by to discuss the game.

That was yesterday.

Yes, but no.

Ok, you're right.

Your buddies can cheer you up.

How come, cheer me up?

I'm done, Eddy. You're funny, adorable, but it's over.

I need a man.

The man of my dreams.

You need what? The man of your dreams?

Who took you to see Marseille in the semi-finals?

Lameass game.