The Witch in the Window

Bedtime's 10:30,

no matter what he says.

And, oh vegetables, can't go six weeks on pizza, okay?

And you remember he's allergic to

- shellfish? - To shellfish, I know.

It's Vermont, people don't go for the oysters.

I can't believe you're going to Vermont.

I couldn't drag you there when we were married, I tried.

You did.

You're not flipping again, right?

No, it's just over and out, six weeks tops.

Is there a rule for phone time for Finn?

You're kidding right?

After his latest stunt?

His phone time is zero, the phone stays in New York.

- I hate you. - Finn, you cannot talk

- Calm down, I'll talk to him. - to your mother...

- What? - Calm down, I'll...

We don't need to do this.

Calm down, are you kidding me?

You are not here!

You have no idea what's going on here, you don't!

I'm just trying to keep him safe,

and I am all alone in this!

Up against the internet, random shootings,

other people's bad kids, the planet dying,

and now this President?

What am I supposed to...

Okay, yeah,

go ahead you tell me what I'm supposed

to say to a little boy?

I don't know.

You're right, I don't know.

Hey bucko, it's time to go!

What's the matter?

The smell!

Oh that's just fresh air.

Vermont in May, doesn't get any fresher.

It's cow shit.

Yeah, the freshest though.

Dad, don't.

No you're right, let's sulk, that's more fun.

- There's nothing here. - You've been banished.

People who have been banished get sent

to places where there's nothing, that's how it works.

Look I know this is not your choice, so already

we're off on the wrong, you know...

I talked to your mother about what happened,

I'm not even going to go into all that but,

all I know is that I've never seen her so upset.

I just don't want this trip to be a disappointment.

I'm already disappointed.

Yeah well, me too.

- Why? - I guess I was hoping

I'd catch you on the 12 side of 12,

instead of the 13 side of 12.

'Cause the kid I used to know, would have loved this place.

Whose house?

I bought it.

Wait, it's yours?

But didn't someone else hire you to like

fix it up or something?

Yeah, that's what I told your mother.

- You lied to her? - Yeah, a little bit,

- more of a fib really. - Why?

'Cause I'm flipping it, and your mother hates it

when I flip houses, she thinks it's gambling.

Flipping it like, over?

No, it means, you buy it for cheap,

put a little money in it so it looks nicer, worth more,

then you try to sell it again for a profit.

What if it doesn't flip over and you can't sell it?

It'll flip.

- I'm gonna cut my hand off. - That's exactly what

your mother said.

Screw her what does she know!

Hey!

Shit.

Yeah?

What, oh right, Rick, the wiring.

So what...

Uh great, that's great.

Yeah I'll leave the bulkhead open,

the fuse box is right in...

Okay, great, do your thing.

All right thanks, bye.

Gonna take her side now?

I'm not taking anyone's side.

But your mother does have some valid points,

- you have to admit. - She broke into my computer.

It came with rules, and you knew that.

Dad, imagine the only thing between you,

and pretty much every answer to every question you have,

right, is a door, you're not supposed to open,

one with a real crappy lock on it?

Wouldn't you break the crappy lock and at least take a peek?

How much of a peek did you take?

Tell me people got chopped up here.

I don't know, sorry to disappoint.

That's something they'd have to disclose.

What's disclosed?

That means they'd have to tell me if somebody

got chopped here and they didn't tell me.

Damn.

Whoa.

Something smells nasty in here.

I'd say when we open the flue in this thing,

we're gonna get a little present.

- What kind of present? - A furry, dead present.

Plumbing's not fixed, yet.

Let's not fix it.

Then you won't try to cook.

- Oh nice burn. - Yeah, nice burn

- like every food you ever... - Now you lost it.

Don't push it, never double-down on a good burn.

- Right. - Microwave,

number for the pizza guy, all we need.

All we need.

Rain is starting to come through this guy

and rot the wood.

Gonna have to switch those out.

Like, for horses.

Yeah, there probably was, once.

We should turn this into something cool like,

a movie theater.

Who needs horses?

Well your mom had horses growing up.

Really?

Yeah, I never much cared for 'em,

but she loved the damn things.

Probably still does.

Right, she had these little pictures,

- Yeah, that she painted on - on her...

the walls, little animals.

What, I remember things.

It's been a while but I do.

Did you...

Is this my stuff?

Yeah.

I had some things sent up from storage.

I wanted you to feel at home I guess.

- What? - Nothing.

No you don't feel at home, it's stupid and you hate it.

Look at you, you totally hate it.

Dad, it's just...

A little too young.

I asked your mom what she thought you'd like.

She doesn't know everything.

I can't wait to tell her that.

You still like those things?

Sure.

I can't do 'em, they give me a headache.

It's kind of like, you have to look at it,

like you're looking at something far away,

even though it's up close.

I can't do it.

- What's the picture of? - I'm not telling.

I'll get you some more grown up decorations soon.

Maybe a gun closet and some booby posters.

Whoa easy!

Well here's another wrong we have to make right.

We're the house doctors, you and me.

Get in there where the bad parts are and make 'em good.

Turn this into some place someone would want to live.

So these, are the guts.

And she's got really bad guts.

Bad pipes, bad wires...

And this...

This is the heart.

Here she's got a bad heart too.

It's barely pumping.

Even though I can't find a single thing wrong with it.

Which is bad news for us because up here in May

it's cold as balls and we do not ha...

What's happening?

Ssh!

Ssh!

Jesus Christ the hell are you?

Wait wait, wait, wait!

Just, the electrician!

You said to come in through the bulkhead and I just thought,

- sorry, I'm sorry. - Jesus Christ!

I legit, died for a second.

Don't even think about it.

Why, you don't even inhale.

I'm not the best father, but I'm not

trying to win a prize about it.

Better settle for second-hand, chief!

So uh, it's a mess in there.

You got broken fuses, outdated everything.

- Awesome. - Plus you got a main

line clipped on the outside, but uh,

I've already taken care of that.

Wait, clipped?

Like someone cut it clipped, like on purpose?

Looks like.

Kids maybe, or uh, I don't know,

but like I said, taken care of.

Thanks.

Well this is Finn by the way.