In the Dark

I'm just fucking with you.

Hey.

Larry, you coming or what?

I already made the reservation.

Well, I reserve the right to tell you to cancel it.

Stop.

Mom and Dad are here at the hotel.

Everyone knows how hard this is for you,

...but we just want to see you.

Look, you're the only one that I want to see.

Holy fucking shit.

Get on Cindy's Twitter feed now.

Oh my God.

Some genius just totally flamed her.

Who the hell is ProgrammingFlaw, anyway?

What?

Someone needs to give that guy a medal.

Wow.

Okay, so, you're coming, right?

I just... I just don't want to.

Well, then, I'll come to you then.

Let me guess: You're staying in some...

...flamboyantly vile place, right?

Tell me. Come on, tell me.

Ugh, fine.

I'm staying at the...

...Pink Motel and Lounge.

Ooh, sounds so very.

I'll leave here in a minute.

Ciao, Lar-Bear.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, man, I had you going there.

Yeah, man.

You got me good, that was good.

You got a problem?

What? No.

Hmm.

Yeah, you do.

X-Y-Z.

– I can't believe you. – I'm just fucking with you!

April Fools, big boy!

That was a good one.

Let's try that again.

How can I help you?

I'm just, looking to check in.

– Are you the owner? – Nope.

I'm Chester.

Uh, Larry.

Oh, hey, I'm Gerald.

You can call me Gerry, Larry, pleasure's all mine.

Yeah, um...

So can I just check in with you, or?

Yeah, I'm pulling double duty tonight.

It's off-season,

...so the owners are cutting costs.

Can't stay mad at them.

They're real sweet old-timers.

Huh, I hear you.

Well, I've had kind of a long drive, so...

...just love to get to bed.

Oh yeah, of course.

Room's 75 bucks.

No tax if you've got it in cash.

Great, great, yeah.

It's an insult...

...to leave a beverage a man's given you.

Gerald, sorry. Here you go.

It's common courtesies.

I mean, I can have... uh, sure.

Attaboy, attaboy.

Thanks.

Okay, what are we drinking to?

To the beautiful sound of laughter.

– Okay. – Amen, to the beautiful...

...sound of laughter, God bless you!

Mm.

Woo!

Now.

Mm.

Chester, it has been great getting to know you.

Larry, nice.

I know.

I'll wipe that up.

Huh. Nice guy, huh?

Aw, he's a teddy bear.

Great sense of humor.

Oh, really?

So what are you in for?

Oh, just this family wedding thing, it's...

Oh. Those are the worst.

Maybe you'll get your bone buried.

Oh, yeah.

What's going on with you, man?

Sit down, come on.

Vent to Chester, sit down.

Uh, um... no, it's, it's...

...I don't know, it should be fine, actually.

Wah, wah! Wrong answer.

No, I mean, it's just...

...there's a lot of people I haven't seen in a while,

...so that's,

There's more to it than that.

Okay, okay, um...

...I don't know, I hate dancing,

...first of all.

The food's always a letdown.

The food, really? Come on.

All right. I had to shell out 75 bucks...

...for cookie sheets because they were,

...the last thing on the registry.

Aw, cookie sheets!

Like Miss Piggy's ever gonna bake...

...her own cookies, right?

– That's, I mean... – I'll tell you what, though.

I hope that she likes those cookie sheets,

...because, honestly, they're gonna last,

...a lot longer, than her marriage.

That sounds like a girl that you wouldn't marry.

Nah, marriage is just not my thing.

To lone wolves forever.

Yeah!

Yeah.

So I really am just really tuckered out,

– ...so could I get the key? – No sweat.

All I need is your credit card...

– ...and we'll sign you right in. – (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)

I already gave you the, 75 bucks for the room.

Oh, I get it.

Tit-for-tat, right?

No, I'm just gonna need that credit card.

Are you serious?

Afraid so, man, I mean, I ain't operating...

...a halfway house here.

No, I'm not saying that,

...it's just that, when I first came in,

...you remember, like, a minute ago,

...you said if I give you cash,

...then you wouldn't charge tax?

And then, I took out the cash...

...and I handed you the cash.

I mean, that guy, that biker guy, he...

First of all, his name is Gerald,

...and second, I never check in anyone,

...without proper paperwork for this reason.

I understand that, but this is crazy.

I mean, what are you trying to pull here?

Look, man.

You came in here, we had some drinks,

...we had some laughs,