The Puffy Chair

* There is is, unh, unh, unh *

* Said, baby, whoa, whoa *

Whoa! ( grunting )

* There is it

Sorry. Did I get you in your face?

It's big.

Come here. I'm sorry.

Thank you for this wonderful dinner, by the way.

I didn't thank you. It was a nice surprise.

I'm so glad you like it.

You're a good cook, too., It's great chicken.

I wanted to make sure you knew what you were leaving behind,

I know it. I know what I'm leaving behind, man.

Yeah? But do you know how much you're gonna miss me?

- Yes. Yes. - Do you? Do you really?

So much that I'm gonna die.

- Really? Oh, dear. - Maybe so.

- Mm-hmm. - You sure you don't want me to come?

I know you have a plan,

but I know that you love me, too.

And you want to stay,

I know, I do, I want to stay with you.

I got some things to do.

- We talked about it. - I know.

I think...

I think it's great, baby.

I support you doing this trip. I think it's wonderful.

I'm just sad that you are gonna be so freakin' miserable

when you go.

- Exactly. - ( laughs )

No, I really-- I think it's great that you're going.

I think that you're gonna have a good time,

Thank you very much. That was very sweet.

You're welcome. I love you.

I love you too.

I just want you to know you're sleeping over tonight.

You know this?

You want to know a secret?

I brought my overnight sack.

- You brought your own what? - My overnight sack.

Oh, your...

I thought for a second you said "I brought my own nut sack."

And I'm not sure...

I brought that too!

You want to know a secret? I brought my own nut sack.

You know those tricks I was telling you

I've been holding out on?

- ( cell phone rings ) - Wait, I'm sorry. Hold on one second.

- No, baby. - Okay.

- No. - Dude, I gotta get it.

- No. Call him back. - Seriously.

One thing for the Decibilly show. I gotta grab it.

Dude, what's up, motherfucker?

How you doing?

I'm just chilling, man. No, no, no, it's fine.

So, yeah, you got my message

about Decibilly for the 16th, man.

Like, you know, definitely kind of new for me.

So if you could pull off that show,

it would be fucking awesome, you know?

No, totally, dude. Don't sweat it, man.

It's a great fucking show.

I'd take it, too, you know what I'm saying?

I never dated her.

No, but she's...

I mean, she's cool.

I was friends with her for a couple of years and stuff.

Yeah, sure, man, totally.

What do you want to know about her?

Oh, I see what this is.

You need me to email her for you and say, like,

this guy's fucking awesome and put in the good word

'cause he's a great booking agent and does all this stuff.

Dude, dude, I'm your man!

Dude, I'm gonna hook you up. You know why?

Because you're a good guy, obviously

And, yeah, if you-- what do you want me to say?

Basically, uh, Erik McKee obviously has a huge penis--

It's just the TV.

And, uh-- I'm-- I'm gonna go turn it off.

Can I cal you right back?

Hey, dude, it's me.

I guess you're not answering.

So I'm gonna say goodnight, but I want to talk to you.

So I'm leaving in the morning. That's it, good night.

What are you doing?

You have my Peter Gabriel CD.

No, I mean what are you doing?

I'm picking you up for a road trip, dude.

- ( laughs ) What? - Get in the car?

- What? - I love you and I want you to come with me.

Really?

Yes.

I love you, too. I'm coming.

Give me five minutes. Yeah!

So are we gonna stay with your brother tonight?

I kind of want to make it to Virginia tonight.

So we'll just pop in and say hey

and just get a hotel later.

Okay.

- Is that him? - Mm-hmm, yeah.

Bone?

- Bone! Bone! - Bone!

S'up, dog?

What are you doing in the bushes, you fucking weirdo?

Come here, man.

Good to see you, man.

- How are you? - I'm good, man, how are you?

- Doing good? Yeah? - Yeah, yeah.

Hey, I'm Emily.

This is Emily. This is Rhett.

Nice to meet you finally.

What are you filming?

Uh, I'll show you.

Come on, come on, get out.

I got pizza, dude.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

It really is.

Watch this, watch him lick the--

lick the leaf.

That was cool, man. I thought I missed it.

I was gonna go down his body.

Then I saw he was gonna lick the water.

And I thought I missed it, but I got it.

He looks like a dinosaur, doesn't he ?

He totally does.

- You dig it? - Yeah, man.

It's cool, huh?

It's so, like...

The shots are so clear.

Hey, I want to thank you guys.

I'm glad that y'all brought this pizza, you know?

And that we get to share it. This is cool, seriously.

We're happy to be here, man.

You are so sweet. I'm so happy to meet you.

I've heard a lot about you, and this is cool.

You know, Josh talks about you.

And he said you were beautiful, but I had no idea.

You pushed the right button on that one.

Thank you.

So I thought you were coming up here with the band.

Big news about the band is that the band is dead.

Whoa. You split it up?

I split up the band.

What I'm doing now is booking bands, you know,

where, like, basically a bunch of guys I met

while being on tour and shit like that,

they need booking agents.

And so I just hook them up with shows

- all over the country and stuff. - Do you like it?

- I'm digging it. - Are you sure?

I'm getting used to it, you know what I'm saying?

All right.

I know you loved that fucking band.

I know.

He couldn't bear to always be away from me.

- That's what it was. - That's it, too, man.

Well, that's good. Then this is good for you, yeah.

- Great for me. - It's better for us, definitely, as a couple.

That's important. That's important, man.

So is this like a road trip then?

Is this-- what is this?

Remember the puffy chair when we were little?

Yeah.

I found a replica of it on eBay,

and I bought it from this dude.

And Emily and I are driving in the van to pick it up.

And dad's birthday is next week,

so it's a surprise present for him.

Dude, I didn't know it was dad's birthday.

I forgot. What is the day? The 12th?

- Yeah. - Oh...

- Oh, shit. - Yeah, man.

Damn, dude, I gotta get him something, too.

You should give him that, give him a copy of the movie.

- Oh, this thing? - Yeah.

It's pretty amazing.

Be interesting to see how he reacts, man.

- I think this is like-- - You don't think he'd dig it?

I think mom would did it. I know mom would dig it.

I think dad would dig it.

He could use it, you know?

He could use something like that.

I guarantee you that dude never sat in the bushes

and saw something like that.

You're right, he never sat in the bushes...

- He would dig it. - and filmed lizards.

I think it's a great idea.

I think it is, too.

I don't know, I was actually reconsidering it.

I think the lizards movie is actually a great gift.

No.

No?

I don't know, you were pretty pumped about it a while ago.

It's definitely got some merit, I think--

No, because it's dad, dude. I mean, that thing is dead.

It's a tape. It's plastic.

It's just this meager representation of life, you know what I mean?

Right, I-I hear you, man.

I think it's me.