Annette

Ladies and gentlemen,

we now ask for your complete attention.

If you want to sing, laugh, clap,

cry, yawn, boo or fart,

please, do it in your head,

only in your head.

You are now kindly requested to keep silent

and to hold your breath until the very end of the show.

Breathing will not be tolerated during the show.

So, please take a deep, last breath right now.

Thank you.

Underneath the moonlight

My good friend Pierrot

Ah, ah.

Nastya, it's going to start.

So...

may we start?

So may we start?

High time to start

One, two, three, four!

So may we start?

- So may we start? - So may we start?

It's time to start

-High time to start -High time to start

They hope that it goes the way

-It's supposed to go -It's supposed to go

There's fear in them all but they can't let it show

They're underprepared but that may be enough

The budget is large but still it's not enough

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

It's time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

High time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

We've fashioned a world, a world

Built just for you

A tail of songs and fury

-With no taboo -With no taboo

We'll sing and die for you

-Yes, in minor keys -Yes, in minor keys

And if you want us to kill, too

-We may agree -We may agree

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

It's time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

High time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So close all the doors and let's begin the show

The exits are clearly marked

Thought you should know

The authors are here so let's not show disdain

The authors are here

And they're a little vain

A little vain

Now...

The music resounds and all the flames are lit

So, ladies and gents, please shut up and sit

The curtain of our eyelids

Lazily rise

But where's the stage, you wonder

Is it

Outside

Or is it within?

- Outside? Within? - Outside? Within?

Outside? Within?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

It's time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

High time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

-It's time to start -May we start

May we, may we now start?

-High time to start -May we start

May we, may we now start?

Don't try to start.

-May we now start Don't try to start.

-May we now start -May we now start

May we now start

- Bye, Henry. - Bye, Henry.

May we now start

Bye, Henry.

Good luck!

Bye-bye. Bye.

- Bye, Ann. - Bye, Ann.

Bon voyage.

- Bon voyage. - Bye.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

Bye-bye.

RUSSELL and CHORUS BOYS: True love always finds

Always finds

-A way -A way

-Afraid -But true love often goes

-Afraid -Astray

Astray

True love always finds

Always finds

-A way -A way

But true love often goes

Often goes

Astray, astray

Come on! Come on, Henry!

Henry! Henry! Henry!

- Henry, I love you! - Henry! Henry!

Yes, laugh, laugh, laugh.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five,

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Are you ready?

- Yeah! - No.

No one is ever ready for

a mildly offensive evening with...

The Ape of God.

Here for his triumphant new show,

the world infamous Henry McHenry!

Love you, Henry!

Oh, this smoke shit.

What is this fucking smoke supposed to mean anyway?

I think I'm getting allergic to it.

Wish they'd use laughing gas instead.

Would make my life easier.

Or even better,

cyanide gas.

So... I'm here to make you laugh tonight.

Yes, laugh, laugh, laugh.

I'm not sure I can do it tonight.

Not sure I should even try.

Making people laugh is a disgusting...

...deceitful trick anyway.

Yes. Why should I activate

Your ventromedial prefrontal cortex

So your 15 facial muscles will contract

So your fucking zygomatic muscle will react

While your epiglottis half-closes your larynx

Clap

Yes, why the fuck should I?

Why should I make you...

HENRY and CHORUS GIRLS: Laugh, laugh, laugh

But don't make me, don't make me, don't make me

Can't stand to hear you

Laugh, laugh, laugh

'Cause you bore me, you bore me, you bore me

I'll still make you

Gasp, gasp, gasp

But don't worry, don't worry, don't worry

You probably will not

Choke, choke, choke

Kick the bucket, kick the bucket, kick the bucket

Kick the bucket

Huh.

Well, of course,

I've heard the rumors, too.

They say my show kills.

But relax, see my contract?

Save your breath.

Says so here:

"Mr. Henry McHenry is not allowed

to make the public laugh to death."

Can't make your alveoli pop tonight.

No dislocated jaws, no belly explosions.

However, asthmatics,

Keep your inhalers in position!

- Okay? - Okay!

- Ready? - Ready!

Laugh.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha

Okay, shut up.

Yes.

Why did I become a comedian?

Why did I become a comedian?

To entertain some balding men?

To bring a touch of levity to tragic times?

Not me.

To bring some joy to those who have none?

To cast a skeptical eye toward common knowledge?

- Uh-uh. - Why did I become a comedian?

To make you notice what you've always surely noticed,

never noticing you noticed until I ask you:

- "Have you ever noticed?" - Why did I become a comedian?

- Sure, but not only that. - Why did I become a comedian?

To convey with a smile