The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Things are better for both of you- you and your son--

if you'd just stop fooling around every time you get an opportunity

and get serious about yourself and who you're gonna be in life.

We haven't been very involved as grandparents,

and we want to be more involved.

That way you can be more involved in your son's life.

And by "fun," you mean-- Sex.

It's freeing to think I don't have to be the good girl.

Fun, as we know, has consequences.

So I guess the two of you are friends

after everything was said and done? Yes.

I don't wanna start over. I just wanna end this. I'm ending this.

So, can we still hang out

as friends-- you and me? Of course, Grace.

Thanks for letting me come over on a school night.

Thanks for letting me come over any night.

Let's see if we're still in love a year from now when our anniversary rolls around.

And if we are, let's get remarried on our anniversary.

No, I'm not doing that. I wanna get married now.

I wanna take John on weekends. No.

I don't wanna hurt my relationship with my son

over a lifetime by not doing what I should be doing.

No wonder this man has success.

He shouldn't just be the Sausage King,

he should be the Sausage Czar.

That is a damn fine piece of meat. So, about John--

Oh, yeah. You gonna take him on the weekends? Am I?

Isn't that what you said? I said I wanna take him on the weekends.

That's why I wanted you to come over here.

So you could see where I'm taking him.

I'm all set up for him here. I've got all the safety stuff--

cabinet locks, the outlet covers, the corner bumpers on the furniture.

I've got a high chair, food, an earthquake kit for two.

I can take care of my kid.

You got any more sausage biscuits?

Something can still happen. Something always happens.

He's gonna fall, bump his head, split his lip, something.

No, he's not. They all do.

You just gotta make sure that the worst thing that could happen

is not the worst thing that does happen.

That's called parenting, my friend.

Split his lip? Girls did it a few times.

He can't fall and split his lip. I'd get accused of child abuse.

Yeah, different times. Back in the old days, no one said anything.

I was an abused child. Someone will say something

if anything like that happens- if an accident happens.

That's why they do it. That's why they say something.

That's why they ask questions. 'Cause when kids got abused in the old days,

when they went to the doctor or the emergency room, no one asked them anything.

So now you're gonna be like everyone else.

So if there's an accident, expect questions.

You prepared for that? I hadn't even thought of that.

Why don't you stay at your parents' on the weekend when you have John?

Because I want him to myself. This is my home.

I got this place so I could be with John-- just the two of us.

I'm just pointing out the worst that could happen. Now you made me all nervous.

Good. You'll be extra careful. You'll be alert, on your toes.

This pork or beef? What?

The sausage. It's pork.

Wow. Okay. Gotta go to work.

Are you gonna talk to Amy? About what?

About John coming over here on weekends.

Oh. You have to talk to her about that.

I thought you just wanted my blessing. And you have my blessing.

I'm happy for you to take John on the weekends.

It's good for John and for Amy.

So go forth, young man, and ask Amy.

I did. She said no.

Well, then the answer's no. I rescind my blessing. What?

I take it back. I know what "rescind" means.

I got it off my Word of the Day Calendar Donovan gave me for Christmas.

Gotta go. Mr. Juergens, please, could you just talk to Amy?

Tell her it's not such a bad idea. I'm really determined to do this.

All right. I'll talk to her. But if she's made up her mind, she's made up her mind.

How about a compromise? I don't think so.

I guess we all knew it'd come to this--

all the adults in your life and Amy's life.

I just didn't know it was coming this soon.

All right. I'll do what I can. But I can tell you,

you just fired the first shot of what could be a lifelong war.

* Falling in love

* Is such an easy thing to do *

* Birds can do it We can do it *

* Let's stop talking Let's get to it *

* Let's fall in love

Hey, where are the moms? The nursery.

John and Robbie are all cranked out today.

Oh, good.

No, not good. Not good at all.

Not for you anyway.

And I think Mom's coming down with something.

She's losing her voice. That could be good.

She's not happy about it. She doesn't wanna get the babies sick.

Would you mind if Grant came over tonight?

There's a Twilight Zone marathon. One condition:

You talk to Amy and you tell her it's a good idea for Ricky to take John on the weekends.

I just talked to her last week telling her what a good mother she is and everything.

You're good at it. If you don't watch your tone, I'll make you talk to her every week.

How did you even get in the middle of Ricky and Amy's stuff anyway?

Amy's been screaming about Ricky all day

which is why John and Robbie are all cranked out.

So is Mom. She's in a bad mood, too?

Who's in a bad mood?

You look pretty.

See?

Why'd she say that? 'Cause you do. You look pretty.

You don't sound so good, but you look pretty.

I don't wanna get married for a while, and I don't wanna argue about it tonight.

I've been dealing with Amy all day.

All of a sudden, it seems that Ricky wants to have John on the weekends.

He wants to pick up John on Friday nights

and have Amy pick him up from him on Sunday nights.

Oh. Hmm?

Well, what would be the problem with that?

The problem would be that Amy doesn't wanna do that.

She wants to decide when John can go over there.

When does she think John should go over there?

Whenever she says he can go over there.

So Ricky's just on call? He's gotta sit around

and hope Amy lets him see his son?

Well, that's what she wants, and I suggest that we stay out of it.

I wish you suggested that earlier before I dropped by Ricky's this morning.

Well, maybe I would've suggested it earlier

if I'd known that's where you were going this morning.

You see, if we were married, I'd have to tell you where I'm going.

But we're not married. So there you go.

Well, if you had been home, I would've told you

that I'd told Ricky's parents that we would have dinner with them tonight

so we could talk about it.

So you didn't need to talk to Ricky. Amy's okay with that?

I didn't ask her. She doesn't know anything about it,

and she doesn't need to know anything about it.

The mood that she's in, she'll just think that we're turning against her.

Isn't Ricky's dad in prison? We going to prison for dinner?

His foster parents- Margaret and Shakur.

I see. So your refusal to put yourself in the middle of things

seems to have put you in the middle of things.

No, it hasn't. I'm not getting in the middle of Amy and Ricky.

I'm going around them, and I'm taking you with me.

I don't wanna see Amy have to go to court.

I want Amy and Ricky to work out an agreement on their own.

Dad, you have to talk to Ricky. Way ahead of you.

Really? You told him he can't take John on the weekends?

I told him I'd talk to you about it. But I won't,

because this is something that you and Ricky need to work out on your own.

And I suggest that you do it before a judge or a mediator does it for you.

Or your parents.

Dad, you don't want a judge or a mediator

deciding what's best for your grandson, do you?

Well, of course not. So maybe you and Ricky could work out some compromise.

No. This is how it works: I get John all the time

because I gave birth to him after stupidly having sex with that idiot.

And now the idiot does not get to take him.

I get to decide when and if Ricky gets to see his son.

And that's the way it works.

Well, right now. That's probably worked fine for a while.

But John's getting older, and so are you and so is Ricky,

so things might just change a little. No.

If you didn't have John on the weekends, you could go out, have a life.

I'll tell you what, you wanna go have a life,

you wanna go out, why don't you give Robbie to Ricky on the weekends, huh?

Why don't you do that? 'Cause I don't want a life. I want your mother.

Well, here's the difference between you and me:

I'm gonna get what I want, and you're not.

Come in.

Hi. How are you?

What? I'm not gonna hit you or anything.

I came over here to support you.

What? I heard about Ricky trying to take John.

Where did you hear that? Ricky told Ben.

Ben told Grace. Grace told me.

And I think it's terrible. Really?

Yeah, I do. The guy runs away,

and then comes back and wants more responsibility?

Yeah. That's what I said.

I feel so bad for you.

Don't feel bad for me. Ricky's not gonna get John.

I don't blame you for feeling that way.

The guy can't be trusted.

It was just a kiss, right? Yes, Adrian, it was just a kiss.

But you had sex with Ben. That wasn't just a kiss.

And I wanna apologize for that.

If I hurt you in any way, I'm really sorry.

I wasn't trying to hurt you, Amy.

I was trying to hurt Ricky.

You know, I don't really like him right now.

Mmm. What do you know. We have something in common.

And when people have something in common,

like a common hate for someone, what do you call those people?

What? Friends.

And you're gonna need friends.

Because if you don't give Ricky what he wants, he'll go to court.

And when he goes to court and you go to court,

he's gonna have his friends, and you're gonna have yours.

And you're gonna need all the friends you can get.

It's not gonna get that far.

They're not going to court- Ricky and Amy.

Adrian thinks so.

Amy's just upset. And I've seen her upset.

But she'll get over being upset, and she'll realize