The Wedding Coach

I'm Jamie Lee, comedian, actress, author, and former bride.

A few years ago, I got married.

Was it magical? Kinda!

Was planning it a bit of a nightmare?

Yes.

In fact, I found wedding planning so ridiculous

that I wrote a book about it!

Here's the thing.

The wedding industry wants you to believe that everything should be perfect,

but that's some bullshit.

There's no need for a wedding expert.

You just need someone who's lived through it to do your dirty work.

I'll be there to help couples get to the finish line,

and I'll be bringing along some of my friends to help.

Consider me the wedding coach!

Do I have pit stains?

Meet Erin and Travis.

These adorable LA cool kids are planning a wedding

in their hometown of Rochester, New York.

But Erin and Travis have their heads buried

so deep in planning and other problems,

they have no energy to connect with each other anymore.

In fact, they're so focused on the minutiae of the wedding,

they've stopped having sex altogether.

Sorry.

So I'm stepping in to give Erin and Travis

a crash course in wedding survival

when everything is falling apart just days before.

To help Tattoo Barbie and Bearded Ken get this wedding back on track,

I'm enlisting a dear friend.

She is a modern-day Martha Stewart with a little less jail time,

comedian Mamrie Hart.

So it's time to jump into it.

- And did you order this? - Yeah, two of them.

- Was that stupid? - OK, that's stupid. I hate that.

Erin and I have a lot of history together.

We both grew up in Rochester, New York.

We went to the same high school, went to the same college.

And our wedding day is actually our 10th year anniversary.

Travis has always been very romantic.

When we first started dating, he used to write "I love you"

every time he wanted to say it on a Post-it note,

and he's been continuing to do that ever since,

and I have a huge collection of "I love you" Post-it notes.

We got engaged at Yosemite National Park.

We were going for a hike with our dog Jane,

and I told her to look at Jane's new dog collar.

And it said, "Marry Dad?" on it and it was so sweet.

And I said yes, and then I cried for days and days and days.

We're getting married in Rochester, New York,

at my mom's house.

It's really difficult as it's on the other side of the country.

We're planning an elegant outdoor wedding.

There's a stream running through. We're gonna canoe down the aisle.

We're looking to have games and fortune-tellers, an absinthe bar.

Do you wanna go out and get something to eat?

At this point, probably not. We gotta finish this.

Normally, we're a pretty romantic couple.

Wedding planning has kind of made it so our relationship is taking a backseat.

The romance seems to be fizzling.

Wedding planning is becoming so stressful

that Erin and I have talked about even just saying, "screw it all,"

and just go elope.

- Yeah, sounds great. -

Hi!

- Hi! - Oh, look how cute you are!

Another problem I'm having is that I feel a little bit lonely as a bride.

With my sisters so far away in New York, I'm not really getting to do the things

that a bride typically gets to do with her family.

We need Jamie's help with a number of things.

We're so concerned with keeping our guests entertained at the wedding

that we're just purchasing a lot of activities for them to do.

It's just kind of making it so everything is too much at once.

With only a few days to go,

this is kind of a critical moment, and we really could use Jamie's help.

- Hey, guys! - Hello.

Ooh!

I see fresh drinks.

Oh, my God, you are fully giving the middle finger to the wedding diet,

and it makes me thrilled.

I have been and I need to stop,

because this is making it so I really can't work out.

But I didn't work out at all leading up to my wedding,

and I think it's because you're experiencing so much stress

that it's almost like the anxiety is your cardio.

- Yeah. - The world is your gym.

- - Um...

OK, guys, how are you doing?

- I'm good. Um... - I don't believe you.

- We're bickering a little more. - Sometimes we hate each other.

Yeah. Let's talk about that.

If shit hits the fan on one thing,

the next word said, no matter what, is gonna cause some sort of argument.

Right. Sounds like what's been going on is the wedding is truly tearing you apart.

Yeah.

It is totally normal for the romance to fizzle,

because wedding planning is not sexy.

So, we need to remember, prioritize keeping the love alive.

Between spreadsheets, try to get between bed sheets.

Otherwise, you'll just feel like two platonic pals going broke

to feed your friends brick chicken and harissa carrots for one night.

Will you guys play a drinking game with me?

- Oh, yeah. OK. - Sure.

Never have I ever thought about or taken actual steps towards eloping.

- Hell yeah. That's... That sounds... - Aw!

- Cute! Having a little elope-alada. - Yeah.

Never have I ever thought that I'd feel disconnected from my partner

because we're fighting about napkin holders.

- Do napkins count? - Yeah!

- OK. - You're mad at me about napkins?

- You didn't want... - Oh, yeah.

You guys should drink so you don't fight.

I'm just gonna drink every time because why not?

Never have I ever wanted to strangle my partner in their sleep.

Oh!

Damn.

Your ring is so gorgeous.

Never have I ever thought that I wanted to fuck someone's engagement ring.

- - Ooh, I like that.

I'm here to support you guys.

I feel like when I was going through all of the craziness with my wedding planning,

there was no one who was objective

and willing to... shoulder the stress with me in the way that I needed.

- Yeah. - That's what I wanna do for you guys.

That sounds nice to me.

Mamrie Hart, my dear friend, hilarious comedian,

I have enlisted you as my official helper for Erin and Travis

because you know how to throw a party.

I live for parties. I'm so excited.

You're very organized, but you're also really fun.

No, I'm stoked. I love weddings.

I love flirting with old men. I love open bars.

I love dancing. This is for me.

We're gonna get in there. We're gonna help Erin and Travis.

- - Hello.

Hey! Look who I brought!

- Hi! It's you! - Hi!

- How are you? - Oh, my gosh.

- I'm Travis. - Nice to meet you. Who is this?

- This is Jane. - Is Jane like a Shibu Ibu?

- Shiba Inu. -

Hi, little Japanese fox. Hello, honey.

- Very cute. You're coming with me. - Oh, my God, guys.

OK, so I know that you guys have ordered a bunch of stuff

and it's kind of getting confusing.

So, what's this? Is this just a yoga mat?

- Is there gonna be yoga happening? - No, that's like the KanJam.

- What the hell is KanJam? - Another bro game.

So, what's this? We also have absinthe?

Yeah. We wanted to do an absinthe bar.

- It's like the original Four Loko. - Yeah!

And there's a fortune teller. What is this?

- Tarot? - Yeah.

- So there's gonna be a fortune teller. - OK.

And we thought, maybe, if you wanna be a fortune teller,

that might be kind of fun!

OK, that does sound really fun, I'm not gonna lie, but...

What if your great-aunt gets her tarots read and it's, like, "Knives!"

- Yeah. Death card! -

Is it Coco Chanel who said, "Before you leave take off one accessory"?

- I believe it was! - We need to take off an accessory.

- Or like seven accessories. -

I think you bring up a good point.

I feel like we have been told

that we're supposed to, kind of, entertain everyone,

and so you feel all this pressure to give them stuff to do,

but you don't want them to be cornholing and frisking and frolfing.

I feel like a lot of this stuff, while potentially fun,

doesn't fully represent you guys.

Wedding planning is an exercise in self-trust.

If you make decisions that have an emotional tie to you as a couple,

your wedding is gonna feel way more authentic and cohesive.

I believe in a process called "the decision dump."

I think we need to maybe get rid of some of this stuff.

Once you make a choice, you feel so relieved.

Like you've just, sort of, shit out a choice.

So that's what we're doing today, we're gonna poop out a choice.

- So, how do we feel about... - KanJam.

- I don't even like it. - Oh!

- So I could shit it out all day long. - Toss it.

Jam that into this can.

- Oh, baby! -

- Jammin' it! Oh, my God. OK. -

I'm just curious what the Frisbee means to you guys.

- Definitely doesn't speak to us. - I hate Frisbee.

- Wow. -

How do you feel about the fortune teller, the tarot, the palm reading?

Is that something that speaks to you as a couple?

I've always loved all of that kind of, like, witchy, magical...

- Cool. - Harry Potter is my favorite.

- There's a connection. - Stuff like that.

- Yeah, so I like that kind of stuff. - So, we keep it.

- Cool. - Lastly, we have the absinthe.

- I definitely wanna keep it. - What does this mean to you guys?

We were in France, remember? There's a little absinthe cocktail bar.

Yeah, it's like the oldest absinthe cocktail bar

in all of the entire world.

- That's perfect! Yes! - I love this.

OK, this stays!

- Yeah. - For sure.