Nyitva

Now wishing you all the best,

and now you may kiss the bride!

I'm home!

Hello!

Hi, honey!

At least take your pants off.

Give me a kiss!

I didn't mean there, but okay...

Don't lie in bed in your street clothes.

-It is not hygienic. -Give me a kiss!

You can't wait? You naughty thing! Huh?

You're crazy, stop!

Then give me a kiss.

-How many people has my doctor saved? -Never mind.

Oh, no. Again?

I swear to use my medical knowledge to benefit the health of my patients.

Especially if they love sticking their dicks into vacuum cleaners.

Jesus...

I don't know what's so good about that...

-What time do you start tomorrow? -I took the morning shift from Ernő.

-So, is getting up at five o'clock good? -Fucking great.

Great.

5:04 a.m.

Dinner?

What are you doing?

Nothing, just...

-You're masturbating? -No, just...

-Why didn't you wake me? -You slept so sweetly. Don't flip out.

-Next time please just wake me up, ok? -Don't shout!

Ok. But I feel left out.

-What? Because I masturbate sometimes? -Sometimes?

-Oh, come on, you do it too! -That's different.

How do you know that?

And why is it different?

-Because I am a man! -Yeah, right.

What if you do in front of me?

-No way! -Why?

Because it's private.

-We've been living together for 3.5 years. -And?

Let's sleep. You have to get up soon.

Who do you think about?

You.

And you?

You.

Pinky swear?

Pinky swear.

-Guys do the same. -And Ivan isn't bothered...

Don't you worry about Ivan, please. He started it.

Though he was quite surprised,

when I suggested we could also go to a swinger club.

That wouldn't work for me. I'm just not like that.

Like what?

What's wrong with me trying to enjoy the remaining ten good years?

You have 15 at least...

Thanks.

The secret to a happy relationship is a good lover, on the side.

-Hi Fanny! -Hi Fanny!

Hey guys!

-Hey! -Hi.

-Did you bring one for me as well? -Sure.

-How is baby Simon? -Well, we don't sleep much.

You'll see soon enough. Got to run, ok? Kisses!

-Is there anyone at Bálint's? -I don't think so!

-Kisses. -Kisses.

All urologists have many kids, because we don't use rubber at home.

-Fanny! Hi! -Hello!

This is Julcsi. She's a fresh resident at the urology department.

Hello. Julia Papai.

Congratulations.

For what?

For the job.

Oh, thanks. Got to go.

Great colleague.

Great? Colleague?

So what, you examined her?

-Discussed some professional techniques? -Come on! Nothing happened.

Yeah, right.

-But you wish it had. -What? No!

-You do not want to do the sexy nurse? -No.

Of course not.

You don't find her attractive, sexy, hot?

-In what sense? -Don't play the fool with me!

The basis of a happy relationship is honesty.

I can see that you fancy her.

-Acting all perky. -I wasn't perky.

Do you fancy her?

-Yes. I fancy her. -Fucking great.

You asked.

I swear nothing happened.

Sure! Tighter skin, longer legs, better boobs.

-No, her boobs are not better. -What?

Fanny! Come on. Fanny, please! Please don't do this! Fanny!

Oh, please...

Don't cry!

-I'm sorry. I'd never hurt you. -I know.

Ok, so we have a situation here.

I'm sure we'll find a rational solution.

Did you ever have a relationship, where sex was fantastic after five years?

What?

Rate it. Rate it from one to ten for each year.

-So? -I don't know.

Ten is crazy, fantastic, I almost get a heart-attack good...

-one is dreadful. -Okay. Well, then ten.

If we're not honest, than it makes no sense.

I think...

it's a solid eight.

Sometimes 8.5. But on average, a solid eight.

-Quantity? -Quantity was alright wasn't it?

Yes. Then an average of nine.

-Second year? -That's when we moved in together.

Yes. Quantity seven,

quality seven.

Third year. You started working at the clinic.

-Quantity five. Quality six! -Come on, it isn't fair!

You can't compare first-time sex to sex, when living and sleeping together.

That's exactly the point! We got to do something, before things go wrong.

Do you know how much we kissed last year? Thirty two minutes.

How did you calculate that?

Well, with an average of 18 seconds per kiss,

-say twice a week, that is 52... -Okay.

You want to kiss more?

-Get some more glasses! -We tried everything

...even to breast-pump, but then we decided on the formula.

Baby formula?

How can you give formula to your kid? You're joking right? You can't be serious.

WHO suggests to breastfeed till the age of two.

I wanted to, but my boobs are not as big as yours.

This has nothing to do with it. Does not depend on size.

It's a matter of choice. You want to breastfeed or not.

I had it spilling out from the neighbor's baby...

I wanted to breastfeed, but I just couldn't handle the pain,

I'm still bleeding from the episiotomy, I just couldn't take it anymore.

He is only interested in the boobs. Though this won't change, really.

Ohh, poor Vica.

I don't know how she didn't realize it. It's been going on for over six months.

Maybe you shouldn't blame the victim. Though I never really liked Dezső.

He's exactly the type who gets it on with his 22-year old secretary.

-Why, there is such a type? -Yes. Men...

Ernő?

The only reason he doesn't fuck one of the nurses

is because he knows I would crush his balls...

-What a little macho pig you will become. -Yep, but guard your balls, because mom...

-The girls will weep after you, sweety! -Looks just like Ernő.

Twenty-two years old!

-Can you believe it? -But it's not just Dezső's fault.

It always takes two.

Didn't they just buy a house? What about their baby?

Eszter would rip my balls off, that's for sure.

Well hello!

It's just you.

So, what's up?

-So... you also use these Turkish diapers? -No, we use the fancy organic ones.

With the first child we used the same.

-And you guys were also constipated? -We're over it.

So...

-does the diaper disposal thing work yet? -Yeah, I first...

He lied to her for six months, can you believe it?

That's the worst part of it.

The betrayal.

We should get it fixed.

Listen, I do no want us to end up like Vica, do you hear me?

Promise me, that we will not do this to each other.

Let's be honest with each other.

-Pinky swear. -Pinky swear.

-Where were we? -Episode five, minute 22.

Alex, there's no water here.

Fuck.

Look, what's that?

-Hello?! -Shut the fuck up!

They might be our enemy.

-You fancy her too? -What?

-Rebecca? -No!

Fine. Yes.

It doesn't matter, I will never see her in this life.

-So only that's holding back you... -Where is this coming from?

Five years of a happy, balanced relationship,

yet if Apocalypse-chick swung by, you wouldn't hesitate to do her?

-What? If George Clooney came knocking? -George Clooney.

-He is smoking hot. -Alright.

I would let you have him.

-Let me? -Yes. Why, you wouldn't?

If, say Monica Belucci flung by, and said:

"Ciao Bello, come here!"

-You wouldn't let me? -What?

I'm certain you wouldn't. It's really selfish of you.

-Selfish? -Yes!

I've had a crush on Monica since my childhood. You know that.

It wouldn't change a thing. I would still love you.

This is just theoretical, no one will swing by here!

Sure.

You preach about honesty, then fuss over something this stupid?

You know what? You're right.

If we allow each other, it's not cheating.

-There's no lying, no betrayal. -In theory.

-Not just in theory. -In practice as well?

So, you would let me sleep with anyone?

-In practice! -That's not exactly what I said.

-You couldn't do it. -Why not?

-You aren't like that. -Like what?

-Brave and gutsy? -I didn't mean it that way.