BoJack Horseman

Okay, guys, that is my cat eye tutorial.

It probably works better if you're not a dog,

but anyways, like and subscribe.

Oh, and RIP Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker.

Love you, sassy boys!

I just don't feel like doing a makeup tutorial today.

Dad! I'm shooting a video!

Demi!

I really thought me and Buzzy were built to last,

like Brad and Angelina, or Gwyneth and Coldplay Man,

or America and its current love affair with Rebel Wilson.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking about my personal life.

I just feel so alone.

Aw! Thank you.

Hey, Pickle Pack! Gettin' ready for another job interview.

I think I'm just gonna lie about having experience. Right?

I got the job! I'm a systems analyst?

I got fired my first day as a systems analyst,

but then I got a job as an air traffic controller!

I got fired my first day as an air traffic controller.

But then I got a job as a waitress!

So, I've been seeing someone.

He's a yellow lab, and he's so handsome and friendly.

Mister asked me to move in with him!

-Hi, Mister! -Oh, are you taking a video?

Thank you, queefburglar69, for that lovely cartoon heart!

Get a load of this cool house, Pickle Pack! Lights, off. Lights, on!

Thank you, Robot House!

Check this out. The Thunder Room.

A place to wait out thunderstorms and Fourth of July celebrations!

Thunder door, close!

Closing. Thunder Room secure.

Cute!

He got down on one knee and everything! He was so nervous before he asked!

Of course I said yes!

-I think Mister is still in shock! -Engaged! That's what we are now!

Ring filter!

So, I guess I liked the play.

I was just surprised at how different it was from the movie.

I kept waiting for the baseball part.

And so many dysfunctional relationships! All the cheating and lying!

I'm sure glad we're not like that, right, Mister?

Um, Pickles, would you mind turning off the livestream?

There's something I need to discuss with you. Privately.

Ooh, I hope it's something good!

The wedding is off!

Hi, I'm here to see BoJack.

You're...

...too late.

-What? -He's...

...gone...

-No! -...to a party for the night.

Here's the address. Sorry for all the wincing.

I put too many jalapeños on my...

...sandwich.

A party? With alcohol?

No, a lame party, without alcohol.

Uh...

Don't worry. We sent him with a trained sober companion.

He'll keep him out of trouble.

This is Eduardo. He's here to keep me out of trouble.

Say, aren't you one of those fainting goats?

Only if I panic.

So, what makes you panic?

Nothing. The whole point is he doesn't panic. Sober companion.

You know what makes me panic?

Most of the time I'm an ocean-levels-rising guy,

but sometimes I like to dwell

on the fact that there will always be invisible walls

between myself and those who claim to know me.

That sure is nerve-racking, but the only thing that makes me panic

is the thought that I might someday drink again.

A toast to that never happening!

Very helpful. Thank you, Eduardo.

Oh, I'm just Greg, a guy Mr. Peanutbutter met at a gas station once.

I honestly don't even know why I got invited to this party.

You know, I got a few TV ideas myself.

Franco, nobody wants to hear your time-travelling orthodontist pitch!

Demi, you are lighting a long fuse on a short stick of dynamite.

Oh, whoop. And a big one at that.

Diane! Didn't think I'd see you here!

Could you go tell BoJack to come out so I can talk to him?

What? I don't have time for your classic Diane wackiness.

We gotta get these to the balloon room!

-Hey. -Hey, look who's back in town!

Wow! Baby! Cute!

She's crawling all over the place.

I wasn't gonna bring her out, but another nanny quit on me.

Carlotta quit, huh?

I assume she resigned in disgrace

for not making good airplane noises when she feeds Ruthie?

No, she said she felt she was being watched all day.

Impossible! I'm there around the clock, observing her every move.

-If she was being watched, I'd know! -Uh-huh.

Uh, where do these balloons go?

Hello, Pickles' best friend Ilana.

Pickles' other friend Ilana. Didn't think I'd see you here.

And then of course, there's always the looming fear

my spleen could up and re-twist itself.

How are we back in a conversation?

It's like I'm trying to canoe out to sea,

but the current keeps washing me back to the same shallow backwater.

-Hey, there you are. -Thank God, I'm so glad you're here.

-Never leave my side. -I have to tell you--

-Okay, everybody get to your places! -What's happening?

Mr. Peanutbutter's and Pickles' surprise wedding!

Surprise wedding?

The wedding planning was stressing Mr. Peanutbutter out,

and Pickles loves big romantic surprises.

And I'm not doing much except for sitting at home

watching Princess Carolyn's terrible nannies,

so naturally, I thought, "Ooh! Surprise wedding!"

-Where are they now? -I got them two tickets

to Angels in the Outfield.

-The movie? -The play. It's like six hours long.

Do you mean Angels in America?

Whatever it is, after that feel-good comedy,

they'll be in a great mood for a wedding!

Wow. Okay...

Look, I cannot be here. Just... I'm moving.

Great, your apartment's a dump. Where are you moving to?

Uh, not Echo Park. I'll never see you.

-Chicago. -Chicago? Chicago Chicago?

Ooh, they just pulled into the driveway!

-Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! -Why Chicago?

Everybody hide and stay quiet.

Remember, as soon as the lights go on, just jump up and yell, "Surprise!"

Lights, off!

Um, Pickles? Would you mind turning off the livestream?

There's something I need to discuss with you. Privately.

Ooh, I hope it's something good!

It's not.

-Lights-- -Wait!

Before Robot House assaults us

with the harsh, unforgiving glare of our energy-efficient bulbs,

I need to tell you this.

But it's so dark in here.

What I'm about to confess is so shameful,

I can only admit it in the cover of shadow.

Don't be silly. Lights, on!

-I cheated on you! - Surp--!

Did someone just say something?

Don't change the subject!

- You cheated on me? -I am so sorry.

-How could you do this? -It was the worst mistake of my life!

And I once played Twister with Bryan Singer

at Kevin Spacey's party for Andy Dick's early parole.

-Ugh! -I've been in the Thunder Room every night

for months trying to swallow my shame.

But I can't. And I've apparently been so racked with guilt I left the door open.

-Thunder door, close. - Closing.

Thunder Room secure.

Help! Please!

Just because you feel guilty, that doesn't make it okay.

Are you the time I went to see Lady Gaga in concert

and she didn't sing "Paparazzi"?

Because I am hurt, and I am confused, and I am angry,

and nobody told me there was going to be an encore, so I just went home and...

Why am I even talking to you?

I need my best friend. I'm calling Ilana!

But, honestly, can Ilana even relate to me anymore?

Since she got that new Sunday-to-Thursday job

she's turned into a real see-you-next-Friday.

I never thought I'd say this,

but sometimes I feel like I prefer my other friend Ilana.

Sometimes it's just easier to talk to a person who has nothing else going on.

-What? -Please don't tell the Ilanas about this.

I'm gonna tell everybody about this. I'm a Gemini.

No! Think of my family! They need me to be strong right now.

Poor Captain Peanutbutter.

He recently confided to me

he feels trapped in a loveless marriage with Mrs. Captain Peanutbutter.

Well, can you blame her?

Excuse me?

Every time I get trapped in a conversation with Captain,

I think, "If I was married to this guy,

I would gnaw my own hand off just to get the ring off my body."

At least no one in my family has anger issues.

My father has come so far with his anger management classes!

I'm sorry, but your father is a hothead with a little-pug complex.

Everyone makes excuses for his outbursts.

"I don't know what's gotten into Franco.

He's not usually like that."

-Trust me. He's like that. -How dare you.

And the way your mother provokes him! I think they get off on it,

and they're making us unwilling participants in their kinky foreplay.

Ew! Those are my parents!

And don't even get me started on Greg.

That guy that I met once at that gas station!

-Why are you bringing him up? -I don't know, but he sucks, too!

-Oh. -There, I got it off my chest.

I know who I need right now.

No, Pickles. Please don't TweedFeed this.

I understand your Pickle Pack is part of how you process pain.

Wrong, Mr. Mister. The Pack isn't part of anything.

They are everything.

When I stabbed myself in the eye with a boba straw,

they all sent me photos of themselves wearing eyepatches.

And when my Grandma Piccolino died,

stickyvicki was the first person to say, "LMAO. Sorry for your loss."