Marvel’s Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H

Hey, Hulkees. Our poll is finished.

And you, our awesome viewers, have chosen the subject

for our next collection of epic fail videos.

Our previous clips, "Skaar picks his nose"

and "that's got to hurt," were huge hits!

So buckle up, here comes our latest video,

"epic fails, jump jet style."

Oh, oh, nose dive, oh-ho!

- (Laughs) - Hoo-ray!

Plane blow up good. Yeah!

Oh! You know, kind of hurts seeing the jet get trashed all the time.

Don't sweat it, Jen.

Red got us an endless supply of them.

Now, here's a new part of the show I call,

one of the most dangerous super villains there is.

Hi. Hello. Your head is so big!

He hates this.

What's on the take-over/destroy the world agenda for today?

Rise and shine.

Rise and shine?

Ooh, it's breakfast with the Leader.

Watch out for his scrambled eggs of doom

and his pancakes of the apocalypse, oh, no!

I am disappointed.

Computer: Incoming transmission.

S.H.I.E.L.D. emergency code 6769. Nick Fury to Hulk. Do you copy?

We read you, Fury. What's up?

Got a situation on our new space station.

Our main stabilizer thruster has gone haywire.

It's pushing the station out of orbit and into a meteor shower.

Doesn't the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Usually call in the precious avengers for this stuff?

The way I see it, you Hulks are pretty much indestructible.

If you have a job for a hammer, use five.

So nice to be appreciated.

Skaar like being hammer.

I have a crew onboard, but the bigger danger

is our payload of anti-alien invasion weapons.

Let me guess.

The station gets hit by a meteor,

it'll rain all those bombs down onto Earth.

Fury: We're wasting time discussing this.

Skaar go for ride.

She-Hulk: Yeah, that's not good.

There's Fury's meteor shower, right on schedule.

Computer: Booster ignition. Fasten your seatbelts.

- Uh, going in kind of hot, Jen. - (Alarms wail)

It's not me. The boosters fired on their own.

The controls are locked.

At this speed, we'll plow through that station like tinfoil.

So, I guess we're gonna get some new epic fail jump jet footage.

Sync and Corrections by masaca

Navigation isn't responding.

We only got seconds to avoid a collision.

Try manually rebooting the system.

Make stupid airplane turn!

- Get in there. - (Electricity crackles)

She-Hulk: Well, that stopped the boosters.

But not our momentum.

Brace for impact.

Hulk: Think that's doing it. We're turning.

Nice one, Hulk.

The escaping air is...

Well, farted us right out of harm's way.

Except we're losing our air quick.

Lucky you got me around.

Station's heading right into the middle of those meteors.

Jen, we need power now.

System restart will take too long.

We're dead in space.

Jet may be dead but not us.

Hulks, let's bust some space rocks.

Good thing we got the rocket boards

to back up our piece-of-junk jet.

Yeah. I'm just glad shulkie ain't driving my board.

Hey!

Jerk.

Rock on, baby!

Skaar slash!

Aah! Wipe out!

Skaar save you.

Thruster's jammed.

We're gonna need some heavy machinery.

Hey, boys. I got your heavy machinery right here.

You did it! I'll activate the other thrusters.

We're clear. (Gasps)

Oh, no.

We came. We saw. We smashed.

Hey, Fury, how about a few nice words about our world-saving Shenanigans?

You want credit?

A-Bomb, this never happened. The whole event is top secret.

Top secret means, "shh."

So don't tell anyone, Hulkees. Wink, wink.

She-Hulk: Complete system malfunction.

It's like the jump jet suddenly got a mind of its own.

Fury did offer to give us a lift home on the S.H.I.E.L.D. shuttle.

That's our thanks? We deserve a medal.

Yeah. We did just save the day.

No thanks to you.

Let me run the diagnostics, will you?

Computer: All systems normal.

That's more like it.

Must've just been a glitch. We're good to go.

- (Metal clanks) - Skaar!

Skaar, stop poking that missile. You're gonna cause armageddon.

Whoa!

Think slamming the door on me is funny, you goon? (Grunts)

Skaar not do it.

You try it. (Grunts)

Skaar not do it.

Hey!

Very funny, wise guy!

You do that again, and you're gonna see a whole lot of Red.

But... but... (Groans)

Skaar not do it!

Whoa!

A-Bomb: Unbelievable. Skaar!

But Skaar thinks funny.

Ha! A-Bomb fall down.

Urgh. Great, now Skaar's malfunctioning.

Chair Burns Skaar's butt.

Hmm.

This nav computer must be broken.

We're way off course.

How could we be lost? Earth is right there.

You should've let me drive.

Come on, stupid computer.

Computer: Access denied, She-Hulk.

What? (Cries out)

This thing just used my name?

These aren't random malfunctions.

Uh, I think the ship's possessed.

- See? Skaar not do it. - Aah!

You know, horror movies where ships go bad,

never turn out well.

I trust you're uncomfortable.

Didn't think your puny arms could open a 50 ton door.

Who needs brawn when you've got the brains

to exact revenge as simple as "rise and shine?"

Wait, you said that into my camera before all the trouble started.

Computer: Thrusters ignition.

G-force's pinning us down.

Months ago I planted a voice activated virus in your systems.

I thought we cleaned all the systems.

We never checked the jump jet.

So big brain planted a virus without ever leaving his cell.

Computer: It was more than a virus, Hulk.

the Leader has upgraded my intelligence programming with free will.

Stupid airplane smart now?

I am now sentient,

and aware of how I've been repeatedly destroyed

by each and every one of you Hulks.

Ah, you... You know about that.

You salvaged the jet's memory center after every crash.

That's right, we always saved the jet's black box.

Isn't that something?

Yes, Hulk, it is something...

That allows me to instantly recall every crash you put me through.

To you, my destructions were simply "epic fails."

Now, it is your turn.

Buckle up, Hulks.

It's taking us back to the station

with weapons armed.

Of course.

You're going to attack the space station

and finish what those meteors started.

There go the primary stabilizers.

Without them, the station's gonna crash.

Into the nation's capital to be precise.

I can see the headline. "Hulks destroy Washington DC."

And I will be there to lead the people through quite a trying time.

Skaar's got the right idea. Trash the jump jet.

Computer: Destroy me? It's your answer to everything.

Not this time.

Go after its memory core.

It's in the black box under the floor.

I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Hulk.

I'm going to have to ask you to step outside.

I just breathed in space.

Oh, no, we're ghosts. We must be...

We're not dead.

We're on the blue area of the moon.

What?

The blue area. Where you can breathe.

It's home to the watcher.

You know, big bald cosmic weirdo who likes to...

Well, watch.

- Huh? - Uh.

He's right behind me, isn't he?