The Hook Up Plan (Plan CÅ“ur)

I'm so happy we're together again.

- Me too. - Just like before.

Shit, we've never been apart this long!

Thunpi anpetu wasté.

What?

It's Sioux. My mother taught me.

Happy birthday to you, my boo!

- Thunpi anpetu wasté. - Happy birthday to you!

Then again, who else could you have celebrated your birthday with?

Honestly, who else besides your real BFF?

I can't believe what she did.

- Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. - Yeah...

She barely apologized.

And she said it was over, that it was just a "one shot,"

when clearly, it wasn't.

It's insane to not be able to forgive, because to forgive is to grow.

Yeah...

And they broke up like 102 years ago.

And it's not just about sex between Max and I.

This is true love, after all.

- Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. - Yes, let's stop there.

- Who cares about all that? - Yeah.

- Who cares? - For real.

- So, you still see her? - And you still see her?

No.

A NETFLIX SERIES

THE LAME PLAN

THE CRAZY PLAN

THE BOOTY PLAN

THE HOOK-UP PLAN

I mean, it depends on what you mean by "seeing."

I do see her face, but just in passing, on social media...

Oh, good!

Sorority, sorori-me, sorori-you, sorori-us!

- -

How are things at the foundation? Do you miss Piotr a lot? Since he died?

No, he's here.

- Oh, I see. - Yes.

- But... - I mean, his ashes are.

Yeah, fine, but he can't really work.

Hmm. I'm making great progress on my own,

on awesome projects, and there's Suzanne, her daughter,

who handles things remotely, and we get along great. It's ideal.

- You're ideal. - Thanks.

Why don't you guys come to the country this weekend?

To recharge.

Far from the pollution.

Why, because Elsa can't come?

Not at all.

I'm inviting you because I love you.

Eh!

Sorori-love, sorori-sis, sorori-sex!

For this weekend?

Because honest to God, the countryside at the moment is so divine.

- But isn't it crazy cold? - What?

Not at all. It's a micro-climate.

I'm sure, but I'm ovulating this weekend.

- You're ovulating all weekend? - Well, yes.

Well, come ovulate at my place.

No, I'm trying to avoid moving around.

And I've set an alarm, too, to go pee on my fertility test.

She and the man-whore really want to reproduce?

That doesn't fit with her whole sustainability thing.

What is that?

- It's Gayusha, she's a fertility goddess. - Yes.

We've been trying to have a baby for a while, but this time it'll work.

It's a gift from my shaman. I mean, it costs 63 euros, but...

- Then it's not a gift. - Yes, it is.

- The cassoulet! - Wow!

It's the vegan cassoulet!

I love it!

Namaste. Thank you!

- It's delicious. - And the plating is nice.

Yeah, it is.

- You need to mix it, like this. - Isn't it already?

- No. - It looks like they've already mixed it.

- The flavors burst in your mouth. - Yeah.

Around my place? It's a basin.

It never gets cold. And your brother will be happy to see you.

No, sorry, it's gonna be complicated.

- Shit. - I'm overwhelmed right now.

Because of Pinkars?

No, it's running itself. I work from home.

- I'm probably going to sell it. - Are you?

- Yeah. - Why?

Max wants to.

We're focusing on the campaign, love, politics.

Emilie, sitting in front of you,

- is the next President of the Republic. - Wow, that big!

For now, we're aiming for mayor of one district, but...

What do you mean "we"?

There's only one mayor in the end...

He's me, I'm him. It's the same thing. When he wins, I win.

But it's more like you're paying and he's getting it.

Wait, she's going into politics?

No, actually, it's not her. That's the thing...

What voters is she representing?

A reckless 33-year-old in a world facing an environmental disaster?

- Yeah. - You're not hungry?

Very, uh,

but I'm practicing

abstinence.

Shit.

Hang on, but...

- how's Antoine taking it? - What?

No, I mean, you're abstaining from...

I'm... oh, come on. You thought sex? No. Food.

A diet. I mean, seriously, Elsa.

- Okay! -

But you know, Milou, a diet is not always...

- Okay, but come on. - It's not.

Why do you want a boob job?

Well, to be perfect for him. Isn't that what love is?

I don't think so.

Britney, Rihanna.

Hmm?

Oh, Namaste. Great.

- What's that? - Waste.

Waste?

- It's for my compost. - Meaning?

Compost is much more effective than any chemical fertilizer.

What I would like is to collect all the peelings from the city

and send them to farmers.

No, you're right.

She wants Parisians to dump their compost in farmers' faces?

That's right.

Let's just throw them our poop while we're at it.

I'm growing a small vegetable garden in the courtyard.

- That's awesome. - And we put everything in there.

- Okay. - Even our poop.

And it yields delicious vegetables.

You want some?

Do I want what?

After that, she eats the vegetables.

- She's taking her yoga thing really far. - Yeah, I gotta admit.

Ah!

Ooh!

Emilie, here's the big moment!

- Is that my present? - Yes!

- For you. - Oh, thank you.

Ta-da!

- It's the smaller version? - That's right. It's its baby.

It costs a little less, but it's still expensive!

Hey, thanks.

- She loves her present. - Yeah, thank you.

- Oh, I'm not talking to you. - You're on the phone?

What is it?

Is it a turd?

- No, it's a seed. - Oh.

- From Parapoutna. - What's that?

- It's good luck in India. - It is?

I'll take it. Because honestly, let me tell you, lately, with Antoine...

Just a sec! Fertility pee!

Right now?

Okay. Gayusha!

It does look like a dehydrated turd.

So, how is Eddy doing?

He's fine. Well, I say, "fine," but, you know, he's two.

As in "terrible twos."

- Oh my God. I love you so fucking much! - I love you, too.

Still no.

Yeah, of course.

What about your address?

- Well, I told you, if you want... - No.

We need to work on your speech. Absolutely. Yeah.

Okay, you're really the best.

- Hello, I'm talking to you. - Huh?

- You, Milou. - Oh. Sorry...

Okay, she's not listening to me.

- I gotta run. - Already?

Yeah. It's on me.

- But... - I put it down here. Yes.

I'm ovulating! I need to go have sex!

Sorry!

Can you front me for lunch? I'll trade you for a favor.

- What? - Namaste, Milou. Let me take Gayusha.

- But... - Thanks.

No, I can't.

Oh wow! Milou! Fingers crossed.

See you! Yes, I'm coming. I'll meet you there.

- Kisses. Ciao. Yeah, okay. - Oh.

We're back in business?

So, how are you, Emilie?

Getting used to the countryside? How's Antoine? Better?

Yes. Well, there. Yes, I'm hungry.

- Oh! Hurry up and put this on! - Okay, okay.

You're so... you're so beautiful. Oh God.

- It's been so long. - Yes.

- Hang on, hurry! - Yeah.

- Oh! Ooh! - Shit. Come on!

Ooh!

- Kiss me! Kiss me! - Yes.

- Look. - Wow.

Is this for the ritual?

Yeah, I figured Gayusha should feel at home.

- Yeah, of course. - Wait.

There.

That's pretty loud.

Please let me get pregnant. Please let me get pregnant.

Please let me get pregnant.