Shameless

Well, well, well, look who's back.

Where the hell you been?

At home, sitting on your asses,

practicing social distancing?

Washing your hands 20 times a day

while us essential workers risked our lives

making sure you have enough toilet paper

and wheat flour for your sourdough?

What a bunch of pussies.

And now y-you can't remember what happened

last season on Shameless?

Get out of here.

Go on, get.

Get! I will piss on your leg.

I'll piss on your leg.

What do you got, Gallagher?

Sanitation Department is in bed

with the real estate developers.

It's all overseen by this cat named Otis.

Otis wants you to bust into that house

and take a shit in the living room.

Okay, took a shit in somebody's living room.

You're gonna make one hell of a cop someday, Gallagher.

Thank you, sir.

- Who the fuck is this? - Julia.

They said she was young, but...

- Who are you? - I'm Sandy

her girlfriend.

We have an arrest warrant for Deborah Gallagher.

Statutory rape of a minor, Julia Nicolo.

Fuck.

We got a runner!

Stop! Police!

So this Keg Zone stuff is actually working?

I got 20 fully paid Keggers already.

I'm not moving to Milwaukee. I told you that.

Come look inside the house with me.

It's got two beds, big backyard.

I don't need to look inside.

Jesus.

- Needs some work. - Two bedrooms?

Yeah.

I now pronounce you husband and husband.

- Now? - Yes, now.

Rock music.

Think of all the luck you got.

Know that it's not for naught.

You were beaming once before.

But it's not like that anymore.

What is this downside.

That you speak of?

What is this feeling.

You're so sure of?

Round up the friends you got.

Know that they're not for naught.

You were willing once before.

But it's not like that anymore.

What is this downside.

That you speak of?

What is this feeling.

You're so sure of?

Rousing orchestral music.

Chicago, the city of broad shoulders,

the Windy City,

a city with a multitude of voices,

languages, and a vibrant history.

From the four corners of the Earth,

people come to the city on the lake

to work and help create

a truly modern metropolis.

Yep, from all four corners

of the Earth, all right.

Polacks and krauts and dagos

and the lowest of the low, the Irish...

Starving spud famine refugees,

like us Gallaghers.

Upbeat rock music.

Every important moment in Chicago history,

a Gallagher was there.

The Chicago Fire, Mrs. O'Leary's cow,

that was Great-Great-Grandma Gallagher's Holstein.

The union stockyard workers,

the poor bastards butchering 6,000 steers a day,

covered in blood and shit,

all Gallaghers.

The Black Sox score-fixing scandal,

a Gallagher.

No, he wasn't a player. He was a gambler.

Set the whole thing up. Made a bundle.

Prohibition, Capone, you think it was all Italians?

Hell no.

It was Gallaghers that provided

the homicidal muscle.

The riots at the Democratic Convention in '68,

yep, that was me.

Part of the Chicago Eight.

The Chicago Eight?

I thought it was the Chicago Seven.

It was eight.

I was at a White Castle getting burgers

for Abbie and the guys when the pigs broke in.

So they only took seven and put 'em on trial.

Where we're standing, right here,

on Ashland Avenue,

there were 20 bars on this block 100 years ago,

each and every one of 'em owned by a Gallagher.

Now we got three hipster coffee shops.

It was seven before the COVID took down the weak.

Chinamen did us a favor with that virus.

Who the hell needs seven coffee shops?

Hey, do you know why they call

this part of the South Side Back of the Yards?

Sure, it was right behind the...

No, no,

not because it was behind the stockyards,

because it was the back of the Gallagher yards.

Every single house owned by a Gallagher.

Is any of this true?

The Gallaghers built Chicago single-handedly.

Come on, I'll take you to Leavitt Street.

I'll show you the tenement

where Paddy Gallagher wrote The Jungle.

No, no.

Let him cry.

He's teething.

The hell does he need teeth for anyway?

I don't know.

We could drug him.

Break up a downer or something.

Frank used to rub whiskey on our gums.

Then he'd dump us in the tub.

Without water, I hope.

Not always.

I think I'm gonna die.

Can you die from lack of sleep?

My God. Okay.

I'll get him. You start coffee.

Okay.

Light rock music.

Hey, where's the Mr. Coffee?

I bought us a French press

at an eviction yard sale.

What?

It's by the stove. Just add hot water.

There's a new bag of coffee in the fridge.

Hey, um, maybe we need to try something else,

you know, with Fred teething.

Yeah?

Like what?

I don't know, we could do,

I don't know, one night on, one night off.

You know, one of us stays at my old house

or your dad's, gets a good night's sleep

while the other one stays here.

We could, trade off, you know?

Okay.

Dibs first night.

Who got evicted?

Aniya, that girl who was working

at the beauty supply shop on Ashland.

Is that the one that, bellied up?

My God.

Yeah, yeah. One of many.

Hey, I need you to run some errands for me today...

Grocery, paint store.

Is that a problem?

No. Glad to.

- I'm gonna go brush my teeth. - That's a good idea.

Rock music.

Stop!

Got you, fucker.

Outstanding, Gallagher.

Thank you, sir.

Why didn't you shoot him?

I knew I could catch him, sir.

Uncuff him. Give me the gun.

That's how it's done, cadets.

Never shoot a suspect in the back.

You wait for 'em to turn around,

and then you shoot 'em in the face.

Good to know, sir.

Why are you shaving your head?

'Cause I'm goin' bald.

But you're bald now, Kev.

Exactly. Now no one will know I was going bald.

Science.

Should I just pour the weed right in?

Yeah, I think so.

Go see if those gummies are setting up right.

They need a few more minutes.

Hey, no sampling the product.

Excellent, Gemma. Nice and tight.

Amy, good, but a little less product

in the next one, okay?

Kev, what are the girls doing?

Their tiny fingers are perfect.

Look, this is why they used little kids

to dig stuff out of machinery back in the old days.

They outlawed that, Kev. It's called child labor.

Well, we're a family business now.