Spontaneous

Okay. The right combination is to say X is one of those

and two of these.

Well, let's take the equation number two.

If I make a picture that satisfies all the X, Y, Z points

that solve this equation,

well, first of all, the origin is not one of them.

X, Y, Z, it being zero, zero, zero, would not solve it.

So, what are some of the points that do solve it?

Now, let's see maybe if X is one and...

Katelyn Ogden was a lot of things,

but she wasn't particularly explosive...

in any sense of the word.

She was a sun dress of a person...

cute, airy, inoffensive.

She was quickly becoming the Dalton twins'

number one marijuana customer at Covington High.

But that's hardly a reason to pop like a zit.

She's all over me!

Spraying all over us.

I wasn't close with Katelyn. She was just, you know, a classmate.

Someone I sat behind or passed in the halls every day

from kindergarten to senior year.

We ran in different circles.

But lots of people liked her. Guys especially.

I was going to ask her to prom.

She was so hot.

I even narrowed down motel room options to two choices.

She was so open-minded.

Jed Hayes was particularly crushed.

- Mara! - Oh, my God, Tess!

- Oh, my God. What happened? - Katelyn exploded.

What? Like a bomb?

No. Like... a balloon?

What?

Oh, my God, your shoes.

Everyone quickly realized Katelyn Ogden was not a suicide bomber,

seeing as the only thing that blew up was Katelyn Ogden.

Her desk remained unscathed by the Ogdenblast.

The only damage her clothes took was cosmetic.

This isn't right. She was just a kid.

It wasn't right. She was just a kid.

This is fucking disgusting.

And it was very fucking disgusting.

After the unprecedented event,

all of our third-period class got taken to the police station.

Which was very exciting.

We got asked a lot of important questions like...

Did Katelyn ever say anything suspicious?

About wanting to blow up? All the time.

I was kidding.

Then they took all our clothes and let us shower.

Will I get these back?

Do you want these back?

I only washed my hair.

Then they gave us a bunch of ugly-as-shit sweat suits

and made us wait.

It was like a Cronenberg movie.

What do you think happened?

- Aliens? - It wasn't aliens, bro.

I'm just saying. She was there, then she wasn't.

It's not fair.

She was so nice.

I was gonna ask her to prom.

She was very open-minded.

When the hell are they gonna let us out of here?

When they know it's not gonna happen again.

When what's gonna happen again?

It happened again.

It happened again a lot.

I'm not going to school tomorrow.

No shit, sweetheart.

- Are you hungry? - No, not really.

Do you wanna talk?

I think I just wanna go to bed.

Okay, kiddo.

- You know, we thought it was a shooter. - Dad...

We didn't have any information. They didn't tell us anything.

I'm just trying to say that we're so glad you're okay.

And that your classmates are just regular assholes and not evil.

That is a silver lining.

Good night.

- Is this song... - Yeah, it is definitely sexual.

Right on.

I always wondered what happens to those when someone dies.

Fuck me.

I need drugs.

Shrooms?

- Shrooms? - No.

Yeah. It's like weed, but a fungi.

I've never had shrooms.

I honestly cannot think of a better time to start.

It's a terrible time to start.

I would love to start.

You're going to make yourself sick.

You brew 'em in liquid so that you don't get sick.

That's what Native Americans do.

- In pumpkin spice lattes? - Yeah.

Pumpkins. Thanksgiving.

Here.

Oh, my God. I fucking love it.

Tess McNulty and I have been best friends

since elementary school.

Will you be my best friend forever?

Obviously.

When Tess' shitbrain dad walked out on her and her mom

we spent a few days at the beach,

and we saw these baller old chicks in kimonos,

smoking a hookah with their toes in the sand.

Let's do this.

It remains our life plan.

- To Katelyn. - To Katelyn.

No. No.

Stop. Stop!

This is... Put...

Are you done?

I didn't know Katelyn that well beyond social media.

Yeah, I know. Me neither.

- Did she get into college yet? - I don't know.

I know she wanted to be a journalist though.

We have too many excellent journalists as it is.

Did Katelyn at least get laid before everything?

Oh, yeah. She was a total slut.

You know what? Good for her!

I agree! Get it while the getting is good.

The only downside is high school boys.

I know. I cannot wait to be old. I can't wait to be a cougar.

I'm gonna be like, "Come hither, young man, and pleasure me eagerly."

Hey, mind if I join you guys?

Tess, don't look now, but there's a boy staring at us.

I think he's staring at you.

Right you are.

- Hey, Dylan. - Hey, Mara.

- Hey, Tess. - Hi, Dylan.

Thanks.

- How you guys doing? - All right.

Definitely the best memorial service I've ever been to.

Best funeral, too.

Second best for me.

My dad's was better.

Well, holy shit, Dylan.

It's okay. The Ogdens can just try harder next time.

Well, holy shit, Dylan.

- Am I bombing this banter thing? - Like the end of Dr. Strangelove.

Don't you think that movie is kind of ruined now?

Yeah, I kind of do.

What's going on?

Yeah, actually, what is going on?

I thought talking to you at the funeral might be icky.

- Icky? - It's an adjective.

Yeah, I know it's an adj...

Holy shit!

- You're the guy! You have a crush on me! - Hello.

- What's going on? - This is the guy. This is dick pic Dylan.

You sent her a dick pic?

No, that would be gross!

He sent me pictures of Richards.

- That's worse! - How is that worse?

- Why did you text me that? - The Richards?

No. The declarative statement.

Katelyn exploded in the middle of precalc,

and it got me thinking about life, in an ironic way,

and what would happen if I popped, you know.

And then you said, it might happen again,

and I was like, I gotta get shit done, in case she's right.

Do you wanna go to the ladies room with me?

Come on. It'll be fun.

She's gonna go to the bathroom and throw up

because she just drank a shitload of mushrooms

and she wants you to hold her hair back.

In that case...

I'm not usually like this. I can usually really hold my drugs.

Also, I usually never do drugs.

We live in strange and unusual times.

That is so true.

There are a lot of you.

How many?

I'll throw up if I count, but more than one.

That's awesome.

- You should make out. - All right.

How do I do that?

With your tongues.

Oh, shit.

I saw Katelyn's dad scratch her stick figure sticker off the back of his car.

I always wondered what happens to those when someone dies.

What happens is, I get shroomed.

Hey, did you see Katelyn...

Go boom? No.

Did you?

I only heard it.

It's weird being right there and missing it.

Like, I'm sad I missed it and that makes me feel terrible.

Yeah. No, it must be so invigorating.

Invigorating.

Okay.

You okay?

Thanks for saying you like me.

Sure.

Hey, would you want to come with me to the homecoming game?

What?

I'm trying to think of a reason to say no.