American Dad!

Aah!

Who's Mommy's little baby?

Oh, God!

That's how he became Sergeant Eye-Gouger.

I love an origin story.

Shut up over there!

You shut up!

You shut up!

Just let it go, Dad.

You want to throw down?

I'll throw down.

You got my back?

I'll scratch your back.

I can do the backstroke.

I can sing "Baby Come Back."

Need you to help me cash them.

Aah! I'm coming, Dad.

Usually people come towards whoever they say that to.

Where'd you go?

I got the usher.

I almost died.

I almost died, too... of shock.

I accidentally ran into a Hugh Grant movie.

Ugh. Such a youthful haircut on such an old face.

Take that!

She didn't do anything.

No turning it off now!

Who beat the candy out of you?

Some guy popped off in the movie theater,

and I had to be totally heroic, big-time.

Steve had the opportunity to help, but instead he left,

like that little piggy in the straw house

who ran away from the Big Bad Dragon.

I don't know if I have that right,

but it's in the Bible, Steve.

Don't worry, Dad.

I'll be brave next time something happens.

You can't make a plan to be brave.

Brave is either something you are or you're not,

and you are not.

Hey, hey, don't be so down, buddy.

There is something you are.

You are...

It!

Francine, you were unusually quiet this evening.

Is that going to be a new thing?

I like it.

Stan, I'm late for my period.

Maybe if you jump up and down,

get things started.

I might be pregnant.

What?! How is that possible?

I got a vasectomy.

You got some sort of weird automated Japanese vasectomy,

and you've never done anything

about the 30 recall postcards they sent us.

No! This is a disaster.

I don't want another child.

I just took the safety latches off the toilet seats.

Aah! I'm drowning!

Listen, I don't want a baby, either.

Trading sushi and bourbon

for hemorrhoids and swollen boobs?

Screw that.

What are we going to...

Francine, can we move this conversation

to the top of the staircase?

It's too early to push me down the stairs, Stan.

I'm not even sure if I'm pregnant.

I'll take a pregnancy test.

Well, if you're going to take a pregnancy test,

you're going to have to pee.

Let me get you some water.

I'll get my own water.

Damn.

Hey, Dad, how brave is this?

I have less than ten percent battery life,

and I just started an e-mail.

Mmm. Mmm.

Geez, Mr. S.

Nailing your daughter makes me super hungry.

Let's not talk about sex.

I'm pissed at sex.

Francine might be pregnant.

- What?! - What?!

I can't handle another child

chipping away at the heroic Smith name.

Well, you never know.

My dad, for some reason, thinks I'm an idiot,

but he loves my younger brother.

I hadn't thought of that.

Yes.

The new baby could be the son I never had.

Alive over here.

He could be brave and have my back.

I'll name him... something strong.

Steve.

Already named Steve over here.

We'll change your name.

You can... you can call yourself Eve, like the douche.

Jeff, I'm ready to go again!

Whoa. I'm tired.

Anyone else want to tag in?

Roger, I really need some advice.

Always happy to dispense sound judgment.

It's my dad.

He thinks I'm a coward.

But if I do something to show him I'm brave,

he says it won't mean anything

because I'm trying to prove I'm brave.

It's a conundrum.

The harder I try, the less he'll think of me.

I thought a conundrum was a word

that's the same forward and back.

No. Th-that's a palin...

Do not shame me.

Anyway, there's nothing I can do to change his mind.

I'll always be a wimp in his eyes.

This certainly is a palindrome.

I got it. Here's what we do.

We dress you up in a masked superhero costume.

You do something brave, and I catch it all on video.

Then... this is good... we get that video

to Greg and Terry, who show it on the news.

While your dad is watching their report, you, Steve,

will walk through the room letting the superhero outfit

"accidentally" fall out of your backpack.

This way, your dad will realize you're acting mild-mannered

to hide your true brave identity.

All right.

And we get to dress you up in a superhero outfit.

Qui-Lo!

Qui-Lo, cape or no cape?

Which one of you doesn't want the cape?

Oh, no, we both do.

We're just arguing about who loves them more.

The night belongs to me, for I am...

Greater Chimdale County Man.

No! That name's terrible!

Filming your bravery is just the excuse

I've been looking for to buy a video camera.

I broke my last one making a short film about butts.

7,000 hours of footage down the drain.

I'm going to grab some Neosporin from my room

in case I get a boo-boo fighting crime.

Oh, can I borrow a tank top?

I don't feel great with what I'm wearing.

Just way too much sleeve for me.

Feel like I'm 90% sleeve over here.

Dad, what are you doing?

Turning your room into a nursery.

To inspire new Steve not to be a wuss,

I'm painting scenes from John McCain's life on the walls.

Here's him getting his legs broken by the VC.

That wall there portrays him

selecting Sarah Palin as a running mate

without knowing the first thing about her.

And here's him chewing off his own cancerous mole.

Yeah, well, I'm just a mild-mannered kid,

so I wouldn't relate to any of that.

Now you hit on me?!

After all these years of rebuffing my advances,

now I'm finally moving on, and you have the audacity to...

Oh, I get it now. Never mind.

Anyway, I invited McCain to a heroes' brunch

I'm throwing here at the house.

A heroes' brunch?

Yep, I'll be French toasting it up

with a few of our nation's bravest.

I really think McCain might come.

I made his invitation super fancy.

Glitter?

Oh, come on! It's everywhere!

Excuse me. What's the difference

between digital zoom and optical zoom?

They're the same thing.

But the box says they're different.

Oh, yeah, it does.

I guess they're different.

Let me know if you need any further assistance.

Thank you.

I thanked him. Why did I thank him?

Just buy it.

I can't wait to prove to my dad that I'm brave.

After tonight, he's going to love me more

than my unborn, unconfirmed, maybe baby brother.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

That's fun to say.

Maybe baby.

Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby.

Maybe baby. Maybe baby. Maybe baby.