To the Ends of the Earth

EPISODE 1 Rites of passage

There, sir.

Make way, there!

Excuse me.

Mr Talbot!

Mr Talbot!

What is this stink?!

Stink, sir? Lord, sir, you'll get used to that.

I do not wish to get used to it. Where's the captain of this vessel?

Captain Anderson can do nothing about the stink, sir.

It's sand and gravel you see. The new ships has iron ballast,

but she's fifty years old, sir.

Mind your head, now, sir ...

Good God...

- Curious warship, Wheeler. - Warship, sir?

It's a passenger ship, a mail coach, a storeroom, a farm...

We have to have something to eat for the next six months.

It's only a warship if we should meet the Frenchy.

Will she make it to Australia?

She'll float till she sinks, Mr. Talbot.

I'll fetch you a brandy, sir.

I am onboard the ship at last

I must confess the thing's not as I had expected.

Why an ancient ship of the line such as this one has been

transformed into a passenger conveyance

is only to be explained by the straits the Admiralty are in

with more than 600 warships in commission.

But your Lordship is well aware of the... ways of the Admiralty.

How else would you have secured my passage or the position

that awaits me in the Governor's office, on arrival at Sidney

You, my honoured godfather, have set my foot on the ladder... and

and however high I climb - for I must warn your lordship

that my ambition is boundless-

I shall never forget who's kindly hand first helped me upwards.

On the cot, there.

And be careful!

You've asked me to use my time aboard the ship wisely

and conceal nothing in this journal.

And report back on the activities of some of my fellow passengers.

I've yet to encounter Mr. Prettiman, the radical.

I suppose that he is somewhere onboard.

We've cast off, sir. The next dry land will be Australia.

Perhaps I could have a word with the captain

about a more spacious cabin.

If you take my advice, sir, you'll stay here a while.

Forgive me Wheeler, I'm not feeling quite the thing.

Nothing to be ashamed of, sir.

Even the late Lord Nelson suffered famously from the 'mal de mer'.

It'll help you sleep, sir.

Wheeler!

Wheeler!

Can I fetch you another draught of the paregoric sir?

I believe you found it to be very settling.

It is. It stroke most efficiently. What are its properties?

Opium, sir.

- What are you doing, Wheeler? - It is but learning to ride a ship, sir.

Good day, sir.

- I said: 'good day to you', sir! - Lieutenant Cumbershum!

Who the devil is this?!

Have you not read my Standing Orders?

My name is Edmund Talbot, Captain. I carry letters from my godfather.

I have much regard for your... his lordship.

- I trust that you are comfortable, Mr... - Talbot.

- What is our position, Captain? - We are still in the Channel, Mr Talbot.

And as such the rule is that passengers come to the quarterdeck by invitation only.

Oh ... in your case I would hope to see more of you.

- We are now in finer weather, sir. - What the devil is this now?!

Ah, Captain Anderson, may I take this opportunity to....

No, no, no! Passengers come to the quarterdeck by invitation!

I'm not accustomed to these interruptions in my work, sir.

Go forward if you please. Keep to the leeward!

Leeward, sir?

Please convey my sincere apologies to the...

Do you wish to subvert all my officers, sir?!

- There is some mistake... - Are you aware of the powers

of the captain on his own ship?

You're a nuisance, sir!

Put aboard without a note to me. I'm shown more courtesy over

a bale or a keg! - My sincere apologies, Captain.

I did you the courtesy to suppose you could read.

Read, Captain Anderson? Of course I can read.

Then you have my orders. My Standing Orders!

A paper prominently displayed near your quarters and

those of the other passengers. Read it!

My attention was not drawn to such a paper, sir.

By Christ!!

Am I to be out faced on my own deck again and again

by every ignorant landsman?

Am I, sir? Tell me!!

Read my orders! And when you have read them, learn them by heart!

Come, sir, you treat me like a schoolboy!

I will treat you like a schoolboy if I choose sir!

Or have you flogged, if I choose, sir!

Or have you clapped in irons if I choose. Sir!

Or have you flogged by the gratings if I choose, sir!

Or have you hanged by the yardarm if I choose, sir!

- The whole ship must have heard him. - Parsons you see, Mr Talbot.

Don't commonly have them in the navy, sir.

Not enough of them to go around.

But law requires one aboard every ship of the line, does it not?

Captain Anderson would wish to avoid it. - Come, come, Wheeler.

Are not seamen notoriously superstitious?

You don't require the occasional invocation of mumbo jumbo?

Captain Anderson does not, sir.

Nor did the great Captain Cook, I believe.

He was a notable atheist

and would have sooner taken the plague into his ship as a parson.

- Good God! - Mr Colley is a passenger.

Nothing more.

Come!

Mr Summers' compliments to Mr Talbot.

Will Mr Talbot take a glass of wine with him in the passengers' saloon?

- Mr Summers? - The first lieutenant, sir.

He's second in charge to the captain, is he not?

Tell Mr Summers I'll be happy to wait on him in 10 minutes time.

Mr Talbot.

Do you find your accommodation commodious, Mr Pike?

Well, uh ... well...

Mr Talbot? Lieutenant Summers.

How are you finding the motion?

Well, my servant tells me I must learn to ride the ship.

I see you are managing. Lt Deverel, Mr Talbot.

Mr Summers. Would you mind just clarifying something for us?

Excuse me, gentlemen.

- Mr Edmund Talbot, I believe. - Yes, indeed.

Who hunts with the Shropshire Fieldings.

The very same!

Delighted to make your acquaintance, sir. Bates! Drink for Mr Talbot.

Thank you, sir.

- Your health. - And yours.

Do you mind my asking -your scar- was it delivered by a French sword?

A Frenchy indeed tried to split my skull, sir. But my head

proved harder than his steel.

- Mr Talbot. Have you met Miss Granham? - I don't believe I have.

...but surely games are not altered in themselves by the

nature of the place in which they are played.

I'm very happy to hear you say so. I've seen cards played

in queer places, I can tell you.

I would expect some knowledge of whist as necessary to a young lady.

Always provided she has the wit to lose prettily.

There are many hours of innocent enjoyment to be afforded by the cards.

Miss Granham, may I introduce Mr Talbot?

I hope ma'am that at sometime during our long voyage

I should have the benefit of your instruction.

Instruction, Mr Talbot?

How clever of you to have discovered that I am a governess.

Why, ma'am...

Yours is most necessary and gentile profession open to a lady.

I'm willing to bet you're as secure in the affections of your young

ladies and gentlemen as old Dobbie...

Miss Dobson remains in mine.

A lady who is the daughter of a late canon of Exeter Cathedral

and who is obliged by her circumstances to take up the offer of employment

among a family in the Antipodes may well set the affectionate friendship

of young ladies and gentlemen at a lower value than you do.

This is excellent meat.

What takes you to Australia, Mr Talbot?

A position in the Governor's office, sir.

Aah, a politician at our table.

Then we may all sleep soundly.

- Mr Prettiman, is it not? - Indeed it is, sir.

Have we been introduced before?

No, I don't believe we have, but, of course, it is a belated pleasure.

Do you think we should experience any action on this voyage, Deverel?

I pray that we don't, sir.

This is hardly a proper ship of the line with a crew that know each other.

- You've not sailed together before? - The crew is small in numbers ...

We were swept together in a day or so.

You've met the officers, Mr Talbot.

I shouldn't wish to rely on Cumbershum for a hand in a battle with the Frenchy.

- As for the captain... - I've met the captain.

He spends more time with his plants than his commanding officers.

Indeed.

And to make matters worse this war is running down like an unwound clock.

Zenobia, my dear child!

- How is your poor mother? - A shadow of herself, ma'am.

Will you join us Miss? I'll find you a cushion.

My cushion is free.

Miss Granham you cannot leave me here alone among so many gentlemen.

Yes, Miss Granham. Must you leave so soon?

Rest assured ma'am, your virtue is as safe here as anywhere on the vessel.

Dear Miss Granham, I'm sure your virtue is safe anywhere.

- Allow me, ma'am. - Thank you, Mr Oldmeadow.

A true gentleman.

I saw you, sir.

You threw salt over your shoulders.

Superstition is the religion of the feeble mind.

I will have you know, Mr Brocklebank.

I am the inveterate foe of every superstition.

How angry Mr Prettiman is.

I declare that when roused he is quite, quite terrifying.

The custom of touching wood comes from the papistical habit

of adoring the crucifix and kissing it.

Mr Bowles! We are indebted to you, sir.

My nurse had a horror of a loaf being turned upside down.

Apparently it presaged to disastrous sea...

'Alone, alone...'

'All, all alone'

'Alone on a wide, wide sea'

'God save the ancient mariner from the fiends that plague the vast.'