Toni Erdmann

Hello. Package.

No idea what my brother ordered again. Hm.

Toni!

Did you order something?

He just got out of prison, he does what he wants.

He was locked up for mail bombs.

Yesterday, he ate the dog's food.

Wait a minute.

Toni!

Come here.

Get your ass out of the hammock.

Keep this up and I'll kick you out.

Did you order something from Venus Shipping again?

No, I didn't.

Don't be so mean to me.

The door, the man's waiting. Where?

At the door! Man!

Where?

What, where's the guy?

My brother's lying, I've never ordered anything erotic.

Um... I don't care what's inside.

Better that way.

Give it to me.

I'm looking forward to defusing it.

Do I have to sign?

Lukas? What's...

Hi.

My colleague, the defuser.

In you go.

I'll sign.

No, don't worry, it's...

It's just my blood pressure monitor.

That was both me. You knew, right?

No offense.

Thanks.

Bye.

Be right there.

Let's get some air.

He can't see anymore.

But our lesson is tomorrow, right?

Uh, yeah, well...

I wanted to tell you that, um...

I want to quit taking piano lessons.

I just don't have the time anymore.

We saw this coming, right?

Yeah, I guess.

What do I do with the piano now?

I got it just for you.

Just kidding.

Listen, uh...

There's this ball again.

I tried to google something.

Heh. I need makeup for a school celebration.

Yeah, it froze.

Yes, my dear.

Don't be frightened.

Oh, Willi.

Why don't you put him to sleep?

- He's only suffering. - I don't put you to sleep either.

Yeah, I brought you tartes flambées.

They're really good.

Just have to warm them up.

You eat this?

Sometimes.

Take them back.

- Now sit down. - But I...

...have to go soon.

The Dombrechts are cutting your hedges tomorrow.

You're blocking all their sun.

That's fine.

So I can shoot directly into their living room. Perfect.

I might bring Ines tomorrow. She's passing through.

She's here?

Don't be frightened, Mrs. Radica.

Oh. Ha, ha.

- Everything okay? - Yes, good, good.

Can I borrow this?

What's with the outfit?

So you are interested?

I've taken on a side job in an old people's home.

Fifty euros per killing.

Most won't fight back.

—your 34 years of service at the Laurensberg School.

For your new stage of life this advice from an unknown poet:

"How glorious it is to do nothing and to then take a break."

Thanks to class 7B's art club.

Now we're looking forward to seeing 6D and 8B...

...in a musical performance directed by Mr. Conradi and Mrs. Eikamp.

[PERCUSSION INSTRUMENTS PLAYING AND STUDENTS CHEERING]

Three, four...

We're dead sad that you're leaving, Mr. Dudinger.

My God, what's this?

I have an upset stomach.

What are you up to?

I was about to get my gun.

You have a gun?

Of course I do.

Were you at school like that?

No, I'm working part-time...

...at an old people's home.

Interesting.

Bärbel, hello.

Hello.

[WINFRIED & BABETTE SPEAK IN GERMAN]

- Winfried. - Babette.

- Winfried, hello. - Great that you'll be parents.

Stay together, right?

Red, white or beer?

Whatever you're having.

- Isn't she here yet? - Yes, she's on the phone.

Ah...

- Here. - Thanks.

Her flight was okay?

She was tired.

But things went very well in Shanghai.

Isn't she in Bucharest anymore?

Sure, but she had meetings there, she wants to go there next.

It all went very well.

They're opening a branch there. So she met managers of Siemens.

New clients.

Executives too.

It's incredible the heavyweights she's in the ring with.

- Sure. - And what does she do in Bucharest?

Oil. In the oil business.

She only advises an oil company. She's still just a consultant.

I have to write it down myself.

Whose birthday is it?

Um, we decided to celebrate early.

Oh, come on. You have to...

You have to let me know.

Talking business again? Hello, Dad.

Spaghetti.

- How's it going? - Really well, actually.

Sorry, I didn't know we were celebrating your birthday early.

But I'll soon have...

...a meeting in Bucharest and will bring your gift.

Sure, any time. Just ring the bell.

You might be surprised.

- Everything sorted out? - Yes, it was nothing.

Something's on your blazer.

What?

- Gall soap. - No, Mom, I have a suitcase full.

That was me. Sorry.

It's just a tiny spot.

What's that?

My blood pressure monitor.

- What's wrong with you? - Nothing.

Just routine.

And your outfit? Am I supposed to get it?

We were joking around with the kids at school.

I'll wash it off.

I actually have to get going.

Willi is at my mother's.

And? How's he doing?

Quite well, yeah.

Sleeps a lot.

Look here.

Can you fix this with your professional glue?

It's cracked.

For a private patient I'll do anything.

Right.

Can you make them permanent?

I mean, like, forever.

My crowns are so boring.

- She's always on the phone. - Heh.

We did something wrong.

Come back inside.

I'm still on the phone.

Hm?

What else did he say? Almost done, Dad.

Yeah, that's good.

Hm?