Barb & Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Good morning, Yoyo.

Morning, Gene. Has it started?

They're waiting for you, sir. You better get changed.

Okey-dokey.

Would anyone like a drink before we get started?

No, thank you.

Well, I'm going to make myself..

a "suicide."

Just a little bit of root beer, traditional cola,

just a touch of lemon-lime spritz,

orange up, and my secret ingredient...

just a dash of lemon-infused iced tea.

I like the extra bite.

It's perfect.

Is it ready?

Finally, yes.

After years of work, I have developed

genetically modified mosquitos

and a way to control them.

This remote here, activates that receiver under the cow,

releasing a signal attracting the mosquitos.

These are not just itchy mosquito bites.

One sting will kill a large animal within minutes.

So, hypothetically speaking,

if the receiver was placed, say,

in the middle of a small town,

the mosquitoes would then fly towards it

stinging and killing everyone in the town?

- Hypothetically. - Well,

given that we have thousands of mosquitos,

we could kill thousands of people

but we don't wanna do that, right?

We're using these to kill animals with rabies, right?

In South Africa?

There was a problem with rabid herds of animals? You said?

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

You cannot get away with this! My house is full of evidence!

Yoyo.

- - Goodbye, Dr. Bradley.

Now, no one can stop me.

No one.

Whenever I watch those movies

- where they're in the 1800s... Oh.

I can't stop thinking,

did everybody just-- Gosh, I don't wanna be rude--

- Stink? - Yes.

Yes, I know. I think about it all the time.

- They didn't have deodorant! - No.

They didn't have toilets, didn't brush their teeth!

- Everyone had yellow teeth. - Yeah.

Yellow teeth was just the regular color.

- It was the norm. - The regular color.

- Yes, everyone had it. -

I had a dream

that I made love with that man on the Pringles can.

- What flavor of Pringles was it? - Plain. I like everything plain.

- Plain Pringles are the best. - Just plain.

- Yeah. - You know who I always

- had a crush on? Mr. Peanut. - Who? Oh, my gosh.

- Something about him. - But he's so smart.

- He had that little monocle. - And a top hat.

- Love a man with a top hat. - Me too.

God, it's so funny to think all the raccoons in the world

- are sleeping right now. - What?

Listen, I don't really know more than what I've already said.

And some of what I said I'm not even sure I actually know.

Excuse me. Hi.

- Do you work here? Yes. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Great! 'Cause we're interested in this couch you're sitting on.

- Hmm, good. Okay. - Um...

- Okay... - Here's the thing.

- Um, okay. -

This couch is the floor model. And it's the only one left.

- I'm so sorry. - So, I'm sorry.

- It's soiled up pretty badly. - Is there a discount

- since it's the floor model? - Oh.

I'm sorry would you excuse us just for one minute?

Just a quick second.

- Star. - Barb, what are we gonna do?

- This is our couch. - We've told each other

so many things on this couch. Remember when you told me

you were afraid you were addicted to caramel?

- Right here on this couch. - Caramel squares.

God, I'm glad that's over. And it was on this couch

you told me my husband was having an affair

- with Dina Rankusio. - That was so hard for me.

You're a good friend for telling me. Some wouldn't.

Well, I couldn't keep that in. I would never lie to you.

- I would never lie to you. - Star.

Excuse me, uh, ladies?

Listen, the reason why we're acting a little funny

about this couch is because well, we love it.

It's the truth.

We sit on it every day.

It's, um, it's our talking couch, you know?

So, um, you're telling us not to buy the couch

because you wanna sit on it? At work?

- That's it. You get it. Yes. - Yes. She gets it. Exactly.

- That's exactly it. - Thank you.

Thank you for helping us. That was very helpful.

Thank you so much.

- That's so nice of you. - Oh, my gosh.

- Okay. Look, that was close. - That was the couch.

- We should do something. We have to rip a hole...

- Why don't we fart on it? - Oh, yes. Let's fart.

- Let's fart right now. -

Hi.

I called you both

in here today because...

Wait, Star are you even supposed to be working today?

Oh, I always come in when Barb works.

She does the same. Don't worry, you're not paying us double.

Wait. I thought you were working today.

No! I thought you were the one working.

- Gosh, that's so funny. -

- It's not the first time... - That this happened.

Sometimes one of us is on the schedule,

- we both come in. - We just come in.

Alright. Look. This is very difficult for me to do.

But I need to tell you that we're closing the store.

- What? - Oh, I think he means

for renovations. Oh my gosh.

- Are we getting a juke box? - Please tell me

we're getting that jukebox.

No, please stop asking me about that.

The store is closing for good.

Apparently, Jennifer Convertibles

as a national chain

closed about seven months ago and nobody bothered to tell us.

- So, what does that mean? - What does that mean?

I'm sorry, I know you love it here.

But the good news is that the company

- is giving you severance. - No. Severance?

- We don't wanna be severanced. - No! Please!

This job is our lives. It's our purpose.

Where are we gonna host Thanksgiving?

Well, you can--

Wait, you come in here when the store is closed

and host your Thanksgiving dinners?

No.

God I'm really upset.

I can't believe we're not gonna work here anymore.

I'm grieving. I think... I think I'm really grieving.

Me too, but you know what?

We'll find another job. This small town's full of places

looking to hire women in their 40s.

Yeah. That's the attitude!

- We'll find something better. - Yeah.

I mean, we both have high school degrees.

- Well, you do. - Well, I don't.

- I thought you did. - Well, I don't.

- Well, what can we do? Ladies!

Hi!

Mickey.

- You look amazing. - You look great.

- Wow. - Miguel and I just got back

from vacation.

My dermatologist is not gonna be happy with me.

I soaked up some mega rays.

Gosh, you can see it. You look glowing.

You look really dark.

Girls, I might just pack up and moved there.

- What? Where? Where did you go?

It's this tiny little oasis on the coast of Florida.

It's people like us. Mid-lifers

who still like to strut past the pool and stop the party

dead in its tracks with a tube top and full jewelry.

- Oh. Yeah. I'm not kidding.

I feel like I got a soul-douche.

- A soul-douche? Well... -

And not that I was looking,

but there are so many gorgeous men there.

We're talking Tommy Bahama

from head to toe.

Tommy Bahama.

Put that with a 24-hour CVS

and you got yourself a party.

I mean best week of my life. You girls have got to go.

- Well, not the best-- - Oh, yeah, no.

- We're not-- - Time right now.

We're not in a place

- to really go anywhere. - We can't really leave.

I'll drop off a brochure later.