Metalocalypse

>>

>> OH, STUPID COW!

LOVE HER!

>> LOOK, GUYS.

YOU MIND WRAPPING IT UP?

I MEAN, I'VE--YOU KNOW, I'VE

STAYED OPEN AN EXTRA 7 HOURS.

NOT THAT I REALLY MIND, BUT YOU

KNOW--OH, OOH, OOH!

OHH!

OHH!

AAH!

OHH!

>> ASK IS ALL RIGHT TO DRIVE?

>> YEAH. HE'S FINE.

YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING?

STANDING STILL

WELL, THE TINY POP STOOD UP

STANDING UP

YOU HEARD THE SONG, Y'ALL

I'M STANDING UP

SITTING DOWN FOR ME

STANDING

OHH, OW, OHH, AAH!

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

TEACH YOU

WHO

ROCK

TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH

NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE

MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER

DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

DOODILY DOODILY DOO

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> OH. A BASS.

>> YOU KNOW, I FIGURED, YOU

KNOW, YOU PLAY BASS, SO...

>> OH, THANKS.

THANK YOU.

JUST PUT THAT OVER THERE.

>> HEY. I GOT YOUS KEN BURNS'

"CIVIL WAR" DOCUMENTARY, YOU

KNOW.

ACTUALLY, I THINK THIS IS YOURS.

I'M JUST GIVING IT BACK TO YOU.

I, UH, NEVER WATCHED IT.

>> THANK YOU.

>> AND I GOT YOU THIS.

IT'S TWO SIAMESE FIGHTING FISH.

THEY LOVES TO PAL AROUND.

THAT'S WHY YOU GETS TWO.

LOOK.

>> YEAH. I GUESS I'M LUCKY TO

BE ALIVE, HUH?

I MEAN, AM I?

DO I REALLY DESERVE TO BE HERE

RIGHT NOW?

>> OK.

>> AUGH!

I DID THIS TO YOU.

I WAS DRIVING THE MURDERCYCLE.

IT SHOULD BE ME THERE STILL

ALIVE WITH ALL THOSE GIFTS.

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY!

>> AAH!

>> OH, GOD. I'M SORRY!

>> I JUST...

ALMOST DYING MADE ME THINK.

NOT VERY HARD, BUT THERE'S GOT

TO BE SOMETHING OUT THERE

BEYOND THIS LIFE, THIS LIFE AS

WE KNOW IT.

I THINK I NEED TO BECOME

RELIGIOUS.

>> IT SEEMS WILLIAM MURDERFACE

IS EXPLORING RELIGION.

>> THIS IS A DARK-A SIGN.

WE HAVE BEEN FEARING THIS.

>> YES.

WHEN A CELEBRITY DECIDES TO

EMBRACE A RELIGION, THEY CAN

BECOME INCREDIBLY POWERFUL, AND

THEIR FANS CAN BECOME EVEN MORE

PASSIONATE.

>> THIS COULD TURN INTO A MAJOR

INCIDENT!

ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE.

WE SHOULD IMMOBILIZE THEM.

OUR PEACE IS AT STAKE.

MR. SALACIA, I'M OUTLINING

SEVERAL PLANS--

>> YOU ARE WORKING FOR ME,

GENERAL, AND YOUR JOB IS TO

COLLECT INFORMATION, CLUES,

NOTHING ELSE.

>> THIS IS ABSURD!

>> THAT IS ENOUGH, GENERAL.

I WILL NOT BE CHALLENGED BY YOU.

>> SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

>> VERY LITTLE.

I'M SUSPICIOUS.

HIS BACKGROUND IS MURKY, HE'S

HARD TO TRACK.

HE'S LIKE A GHOST.

>> HE KEEPS APPEARING IN MY

DREAMS.

HE SPEAKS TO ME IN AN ANCIENT

LANGUAGE THAT I DON'T

UNDERSTAND, BUT I THINK HE IS

TELLING ME THAT I AM GOING TO

DIE.

>> I DON'T TRUST HIM, AND I

DON'T THINK YOU TRUST HIM

EITHER, AND I'D LIKE TO KNOW

THAT I HAVE AN ALLY IN YOU AND

THE CHURCH SHOULD THIS

OPERATION BLOW OUT OF CONTROL.

>> YES, YOU DO.

RELIGIOOONNN

RELIGIOOOONNN

MMM

>> THIS IS DILDOS.

DOESN'T HE KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH

THINGS AS RELIGION?

>> YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T BELIEVE

IN GOD.

THERE IS SUCH THING AS RELIGION.

>> WELL, THEN PROVES IT.

SHOW ME MIRACLES THAT RELIGION

EXISTS.

>> WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE'S THE

BIBLE RIGHT THERE.

>> WELL, MAYBE I REEVALUATE MY

LIFE THEN.

>> GUYS, I NEED TO FIND OUT

WHICH RELIGION WORKS FOR ME,

THE GUY IN HERE, AND I CAN'T DO

IT ALONE.

I NEED YOU TO COME WITH ME.

IN THE TRUTH MACHINE

GIVE TO THE POOR AND HELPFULLY

TWEENER CRUSADERS

TRUTH INVADERS

STRIKE THE DEVIL WITH MY

GREATER GOAL

DRINK FROM GOD'S CUP

AND THEN CATAPULT

INTO HIS KINGDOM

WE'RE APOSTLES OF FREEDOM

DON'T YOU KNOW IT WAS

>> OH, COME ON.

I GREW UP IN THE MIDWEST.

I DON'T NEED TO SEE ANOTHER

CHRISTIAN ROCK BAND.

>> LISTEN. I ALMOST KILLED HIM.

HE NEEDS OUR SUPPORT.

JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE.

SEE, IT'S--IT'S NOT SO BAD.

IT'S, UH, FRUNGHOOL.

>> THERE IS NO GOD.

LISTEN TO HIS GUITAR.

UGH!

>> I'M GONNA CHECK OUT THIS

CHRISTIAN ROCK MOSH PIT.