Everybody Loves Raymond

They bought a condominium in New Jersey...

the Garden State Villas.

We want to move there.

We get the house.

- What? - Our own house!

Goodbye.

- Hi. - Hi.

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, it's been so long since I've seen you.

Yeah yeah yeah.

Third time in two weeks, Ma.

Only the third time. Come in, sit down.

Your father's just on his way back from the dining hall.

What do you do,

hose him off and send him back?

Oh, boy.

Are you all right, Raymond?

Yeah, it's just traffic the whole way.

Usually it takes 85 minutes.

It took two hours today and...

but no, I'm good, I'm good. I'm good.

How are you, Marie?

I tell you, now that I'm in the Villa's production

of "The Unsinkable Molly Brown"...

as Molly...

I'm in constant rehearsal,

and I'm in voice

and movement classes and yoga.

Oh, and by the way, Raymond,

you need to stop by the office

and cosign some insurance waiver for me.

Oh.

No brakes! No brakes!

Oh!

Hi, Frank.

Hey, Dad, I'm a little hungry.

Why don't you drive me to the dining hall?

No, I don't want to waste my guest passes.

Raymond, sit down.

I'll fix us some lunch and then we can have a nice conversation.

So, how are you, Frank?

Fat.

The dining hall is open 24 hours,

plus Marie is cooking up a storm.

Some days I eat 10 times.

Well, I'm glad to see that condo living still agrees with you.

Yep, I'll tell you all about it

after I visit the throne room.

The seat in there is cushioned and heated.

Ray, before you go home,

you gotta give it a test drive.

Try and stop me.

Boy, I have never seen your parents

this happy. Then again, I've never seen them happy.

Yeah. Yeah, no, they're happy.

So how long we gotta stay?

Ray.

I'm just saying, you'll eat your sandwich,

then we'll get a jump on the traffic on the way back.

All right, enough with the traffic.

So you have to do a little driving.

That problem is more than outweighed

by the fact that I have been allowed to exit hell.

It's just like you like, Raymond...

egg salad with extra egg.

- All right, thanks, Ma. - Yummy.

Ooh, I had a fantastic idea.

What if you and I have some one-on-one time?

Next week, come by yourself

and stay for a few days.

Hmm.

No, I mean...

You know what, Marie?

That's a great idea.

I mean, I'm gonna miss Ray,

but I'll just have to suck it up.

Hello?

Oh, you got a phone in there too, huh?

Yeah...

Right in here.

Thank you.

Hi. I'm Ray Barone.

Oh, great. Please, have a seat.

- Thanks. I'm Debra. - Hi.

Yeah, my mom said I need to sign some insurance form for her.

And also...

ask about a rollaway bed for me.

Yes, Mr. Barone, I'm glad you came by.

We need your parents to move out.

What?

I'm sorry to be so blunt,

but there have been a number of issues,

and they need to go.

Wait a minute.

You're kicking them out?

Yes.

I don't understand.

Frank and Marie seem incredibly happy here.

I assure you, they're the only ones.

Your father's been tearing around on his golf cart

endangering pedestrians.

Oh?

When our security guards warn your father,

he turns his cart and aims for them.

One time he shouted, uh...

"Hit the monkey, win a cookie!"

If this were the only issue,

we might be able to work through it.

But your father's overall demeanor is...

sort of like a maniac.

One night we caught him inside the walk-in fridge

eating an entire bologna.

But as bad as your father is...

Oh, boy.

...your mother has brought the morale of our community

to an all-time low.

Go ahead, Katie.

None of the other women want to be around her.

You know, she has this way of appearing

to give a compliment

when actually she's insulting you.

And she's critical of everything...

clothing, hair... cooking.

- I just... - I don't know

where this is coming from.

Marie must be making some friends.

Isn't she in the cast of "The Unsinkable Molly Brown"?

That is now a one-woman show.

And when I tried to talk to her about all this,

she said that my rude tone

might be the reason I don't have a husband.

So, we'd like you to take them with you.

We have people to help you pack.

Now hold on.

We are not gonna sit here

and listen to you run down

these good people.

I don't think you've even considered

that the problem just may be everyone else.

Well, l...

Frank and Marie Barone

are fine, religious people.

They might be opinionated, but I find that refreshing.

And Marie may have bruised some feelings,

but it's important to remember that everything she does

comes from love.

I understand that you're upset.

Please don't make us take them back!

- I'm sorry... - Is it money?

'Cause we could pay more money.

No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

We have to think of the entire community.

See, our philosophy here is

"Let's all be happy till the end."

Some of our residents have threatened

to stop taking their medication.

I understand,

but isn't there something that we...

just... something?

Ray?

Can we live here?

Don't you love our new couch?

You know what? I really do.

I'm starting to love everything now.

I was gonna do my workout

on the new Muscleflex after dinner...

but you know what?

What?

Drinking makes you happy with your body

the way it is.

Hi, guys. You're back early.

We have to talk.

About what?

Hi.

What did you do to the house?

Look who's here.

Marie, Frank. Hi.

We weren't expecting you to visit so soon.

Why didn't you tell us you were coming?

We really have to talk.

Where are my things?

Okay, all right, Ma, calm down.

No, you calm down.

First your father gets us kicked out

of my dream condominium,

and now these two have ruined the house.

Kicked... out?

Me? You're the one who sunk us, Molly Brown.

And you're the one who ate the whole bologna.

Hi.

It seems that Frank and Marie

were asked to leave their retirement community

because...

well, you can imagine.