Lagi Lagi Senario

-Are you Malay or Eurasian? -Malay, of course.

-Peace be upon you. -Peace be upon you too.

Peace be upon you.

Is the food here halal?

-Yes. -Very good!

-You can't go in. -Why can't I go in?

Hey, hey.

Looking at my clothes, you think I have no money.

Don't you look down on me. Look at this man, ladies and gentlemen!

-He is one of us. -Sir, sir.

You can't come in here because you're not wearing a tie.

Come this way.

Allow me, miss.

Here, sir.

Buffet or a la carte?

Do you want to eat from the buffet or order from the menu?

Just bring me something simple.

Honey, this place is beautiful. Of course. It means that I love you.

Not just anyone can come here.

Here you go. Here you go, miss.

What's wrong, honey?

Sir, come here.

-Yes, sir? Would you like to order now? -Actually, I left my glasses at home.

Could you read me the menu?

You have it upside down.

-Really? -I'd recommend this dish to you.

What? Sambal petai?

Not sambal petai, sir. I mean pâté from the salmon fish.

I'll tell you what.

Bring us the most special dish that you have.

What are these? They look like snails.

These are called escargot.

How do I eat them?

Come on, honey. Don't tell me, you've never had snails?

Are we just going to eat snails?

Here you go.

-Where's the rice? -We serve French food. There's no rice.

-Is it filling? -Why don't you try it first?

It's not bad.

Bon appetit.

What?

It means, enjoy your food. Please, go ahead.

Bring me some chili sauce, please?

-Why are you asking for chili sauce? -It's not hot enough.

Wait a minute. Who is this?

Calm down. He's the owner as well as the cook of the place.

He doesn't like people tampering with his dish.

I just want a little chili sauce. It'll taste better.

This is too much!

-I hope you've had your mouth insured! -Calm down, miss.

Why don't you have a seat first?

I did.

What do I care? There are better restaurants out there.

Why don't you feed this to cats?

What are you waiting for? Go away!

Do you speak…

'Azlee's Special Roti Stall'

-Drinks? -Two teh tarik.

-Food? -Roti canai crushed with curry.

Sit here.

Ready! Hey---

Saiful, two roti kapas. To go, please.

To go? Why won't you eat here?

-It's hot here. -I can fan you.

Hey, boy! The check!

-Two-fifty. That's all? -Yes.

-Don't you have a smaller note? -This is all I have. Take it.

-There's a small problem. -Why is there a problem?

Just give me the change.

Ah, you don't even have change for this.

-Two-fifty. -What's that?

He's so snobbish. Just give me the coins. Let his trousers fall down.

Tell him I don't have change.

-We don't have change. -No change? Then is it on the house?

My boss said you can pay another day.

Hey, you there! Don't forget to pay me that RM2.50.

It's okay if you don't pay. I like to do charity too.

If you want to eat for free, don't hesitate to drop by.

You don't have to shout.

He said he has money, but actually doesn't.

Would you like some more drinks?

-Why does he lie about that? -Nowadays, everybody lies.

Look, you can't even believe what's in the paper.

If you don't believe it, then why do you read it?

There's one thing you can trust though.

-4D numbers. -Hey.

-Yasin, buy me ten cans of condensed milk. -We've run out of eggs too.

And 30 eggs.

-Wait a minute. I need pen and paper. -What for?

-To write it down or I'll forget. -It's only two items, you won't forget!

Here.

Not keep the change.

Ten milk tins.

Ten milk tins. Thirty eggs.

Ten milk tins. Thirty eggs.

Drink, sir?

-Iced lime tea, not too sweet. -Food?

In a while.

What are you doing here?

-I went to the toilet. -Don't give me such excuses.

-I know you were trying to skip work. -If so, would I wear this stupid costume?

You are paid to wear this stupid costume.

If you don't like it, you can leave.

There are many out there who'd love to have this job.

Go back to your place.

Ten cans of milk, 30 eggs--

Ten cans of milk, 30 eggs--

CORN CRISPS

Ten cans of milk, 30 eggs--

Do you want to buy this?

What's that for? Do you want to buy or not?

No.

Oh no! What was I supposed to buy?

Ten kilos of sugar, 30 sacks of rice.

It's not that. This is all the lizard's fault!

-Peace be upon you. -Peace be upon you too.

A lizard replying to the "salam."

Do you remember what I'm supposed to buy?

-Milk and eggs. -Thank you, Mr. Lizard.

Come to my stall when you have the time. You can sample our food.

-Sir! Are you the owner of the stall? -No, I'm just a worker.

-Do you have eggs? -Yes.

Huh?

They're over there.

-Over there. -Ah, thank you.

Ten eggs, forty-- ah!

It's him, Dad.

Hey! Did you scare my children?

How dare you!

My bag, my clothes…

"Wahid, you've failed to pay the rent for six months, so, you're not allowed

to enter this house anymore."

-Someone threw a baby there. -What?

-Someone threw a baby there. -Baby?

Where?

Wait.

Wait a minute.

This is not a baby. He's old enough to be a father.

What's with you.

Sir, wake up.

Why are you sleeping here? This is not a bedroom.

This are business premises.

It's Mr. Lizard!

I worked as a waiter for three years at an exclusive restaurant.

But because of someone else, I was fired.

I tried to find work at several other restaurants but many have closed down

because of the economic crisis. And that's why I stopped.

That--

Not only was I fired,

I also received a fist here.

So now, I'm all alone. I've no work, no home.

-Poor thing. -Is that all? Help him.

How?

You said you want to find another worker

to help me here.

He used to work at a posh restaurant. Our stall is so small. Would he like it here?

That's true.

But I think, he'll accept if we offer for him to be Mr. Lizard.

After that, we can promote a new menu. Lizard soup.

That's true.

-Who would eat lizard soup? -Calm down. Let's ask Mr. Wahid.

Mr. Wahid, would you like to work here?

-Are you trying to tear down my stall? -I'm sorry. Do you have insurance?

How dare you!

You haven't even started yet and you're being overly friendly.

I know you've worked at a posh restaurant but you shouldn't assume that my stall

is only for beggars.

My customers are not only beggars, there are also bankers,

corporate people too.

If you don't like it here, you can leave.

In a while, people from the stock exchange will come here to have a drink.

What are you waiting for? Please go.

Why are you being so touchy? The guy's in trouble.

Mr. Wahid! You could at least have a drink first.

We Malaysians are very fortunate. Chinese can eat Malay,

Malay can eat Indian.

There are no cannibals here.

I don't mean that.

Chinese like Malay rice in coconut milk,

Malay like Chinese yong tau fu,

and everybody likes roti canai and that's Indian.

That's true but there's one thing all Malays, Chinese and Indians cannot eat.

-Really? -Yes!

But they like to put it in their mouth.

-What is it? -One cigarette, please.

May I take your order, miss?

-What is your specialty? -Everything's special here.

You can look at the menu over there.

Allow me to recommend the sardine roti. Delicious pastry with sardine filling

fresh from the can. Or you can order our roti kapas,

so soft and crunchy on the outside,

it'll melt anyone who tries it.

Or you can order the most wonderful item on the menu,

the peliau pratha pastry.

The peliau pratha pastry?

or, egg roti.

Make me two sardine rotis,

two roti kapas,

and six egg rotis, to take away.

I don't want.