EXmas

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Happy holidays!

Um...

so, for Christmas... here? Do you guys wanna come--?

No, I thought we were going to be here. We're going to his parents' house.

We've gotta just do it. It'll be all right, I know.

It's gonna be the worst, is what it's gonna be.

- It-- it will be the worst. - It's gonna be--

But then we'll be back, and it will be over, right?

- It will be fast. - Yeah.

I'll have just been, like, driven insane by your dad for, like, four days.

We're gonna try and keep them off the sauce this year. Yeah.

We've got to keep them off the sauce.

So, are you and Graham talking anymore, even, like?

No. No. We haven't talked. We're not talking.

His family on the other hand-- they're pretty great.

Just 'cause I dumped him doesn't mean I have to dump the family.

It kinda does, though.

God, I wish I could dump your family.

I-- I know.

Wish I could dump them in the garbage.

I want to have my own pastry truck one day.

- Oh, you bake? Yeah? - I do.

Taste it, and tell me if you think I'm crazy.

- Really? Okay. - Yeah.

Oh, my God. This is so good.

- First cookie's free. - That's how they get you.

I have a question. Was this coffee our first date,

or did lunch at the office count?

Good question. Uh, what if it was coffee today

and also some dinner tonight?

Let's do it.

Oh. I forgot my-- my phone.

You always forget your phone.

So, I'm with the boxes, and you're with the glasses of wine?

- Yeah. But one's for you. - Okay.

Welcome home.

- Aw. I love our house. - I love your house.

- So-- Hey! - Hey.

- It's our house. - Thank you.

Bah humbug.

- Cheers! - Merry Christmas, everyone!

Eh-ow!

Whoa. You looking at porn?

No.

Hey, we're taking tequila shots. You down?

Uh-- No. Thank you, Mr. Tusk. I got a lot of work to do.

- That's exactly the answer I wanted. - Oh.

You're my head designer. I need you right here.

That's me. Just, uh-- work, work, work, work, work.

Oh. We're moving the launch date of Poof 'n' Puff up to Christmas.

Christmas like, like-- like next week Christmas?

You get this done, I can grant you an additional thousand stock options.

And you can maybe buy something nice for your wife.

Uh, well, my fiancée and I, uh, called it off, like, six months ago. So--

Oh, that's good. Eyes on the prize.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

- Hello. - Hi, sweetie.

Just calling to check in. It's officially seven days until Christmas,

and we're so excited that you're coming. Thank you, honey bun.

- Mom-- Mom-- Mom-- - We're gonna do those, uh...

snow angels as soon as you get here. Okay?

- Hockey. - Hockey.

Ooh. I know what I wanted to tell you.

I got, uh, the ham, but, uh, this time I got it from Anthony's.

- I hope you don't mind. Your dad likes it. - Mom--

They have the best dead pigs.

Oh, my God.

Grahamgy! What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

The abdominal snowman!

My barber told me that!

Well, there's plenty more where that came from.

Mom, I can't barely hear you guys. Are you on the landline? I can't hear--

The landline has been proven to have much better sound quality

than a mobile phone. Everybody knows that.

Fifty years we've had this sucker.

That's absolutely right.

Ohh!

- See? See? And it didn't break. - That's the good news. Here. Whoops.

It sounds like you've had it for 50 years.

- Now, where are we? - Hello?

Yep. Go ahead. We're both here.

I can't come home this year, okay?

- I'm sorry. - What?

- Is that a joke? - No.

It's not a joke. I have a deadline, okay?

I have to be-- I have to get the game done by Christmas.

- Don't kid with Mommy. - I'm not kidding.

- Don't kid with Mommy. - I'm sorry.

Don't kid with Mommy, honey.

I have a deadline of Christmas, and I have to work.

- No, no. - No, no.

Okay.

Graham, you've got to come home.

Your mother has been decorating the house since Halloween!

Yeah. She does that every year, Dad.

Okay. You know what, here's what we'll do.

- I'll call your boss, all right? - No.

I'll call your boss and explain the situation

that we take Christmas very seriously.

No. I'd really prefer you not to do that.

You know what I think is really happening?

I think this has less to do with work and maybe a lot more to do with Ali.

- Ali. - Because, well---

'Cause, 'cause what, Dad?

'Cause Ali dumped me? Ditched me? Ripped out my heart, stomped on it?

- Okay. - This has nothing to do with that.

I have a deadline. I have to run. I gotta work.

- I can't even hear you on the landline. - No, no, no, no.

- Graham! Graham! - Goodbye.

It's the gift that matters most this Christmas.

Because after all, who wants to be alone for the holidays?

Tired? Stressed? Single?

What is this ad for? Who's this ad for? Who made this?

No, no, no, no.

Remote. Remote. Remote.

You can do this. Graham, you got this.

Okay. Ready.

Set.

Yes! No!

This holiday season...

...the freezing temperatures

won't show any mercy to the poor animals who have been left outside.

Abandoned. Forgotten.

I'm the dog. Great.

Lonely. Hungry.

They have no shelter, and they need your help.

Call or text now to donate

and make a difference in an animal's life this holiday season.

Well, Graham.

This is rock bottom.

I gotta book a flight.

Thank you for flying with us today, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Minnesota,

a winter wonderland.

With just three days left until Christmas, happy holidays.

Thank you.

Okay. Here we go.

I wish Heather could have come.

I know, but she's busy with her podcast.

It's called, uh, Don't Tie Me Down.

- And it's all about singles in the city. - Ah--

She talks about polyamory

and, um, not kind of feeling constrained or non-committal.

Polyamory? Didn't they play Coachella?

Yeah. I think they did. Yeah.

What? Um-- What is that?

It's for Aunt Mildred.

Oh, she's gonna love it. She needs that.

- Yeah. It's just a... - Surprise!

Your second favorite son hath returneth.

It's a Christmas miracle!

Graham, what are you doing here?

Uh... nothing, Mom, just spending Christmas with my family.

- But you were-- you-- you-- - Don't have any bags?

No, they lost everything. All my clothes, the amazing gifts I got you guys.

Thank God I held onto my laptop.

You know, when I pictured this in my head,

there was, like, tears of happiness and joy and--

Oh, honey! Oh, Graham, I'm so happy you're here!

- Oh, Graham! - Thank you for coming home!

You might want to tell your face.

- Graham is here! - I love you.

- Yay, Graham. - Thank you.

- Okay, let's hug outside. - Yes, let's do that.

- Wanna see the Nativity? - Oh, good. Take a gander at that.

- And I'll go to the kitchen. - Oh, I'm starving. I'm so hungry.

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, please, sandwiches.

Did Ali send cookies? She sent cookies? What are you doing?

Well, I found all of these in the back clo-- shit!

Is that Ali?

Shut up.

Well, I thought-- I thought you said he was working.

He said he was working!

When has he ever said that and then shown up somewhere?

What are you doing here?

I-- I was invited.

No, no.

I'm pretty sure when you uninvited me from your life,

you uninvited you from Christmas!

Graham, that's not really true.

We knew she'd be alone for Christmas, so we invited her.

I'm sorry. How did you know that?

Well...

- We keep in touch. - Yeah.

- You keep in touch? - We keep in touch, yes.

We text. Uh, she posted that she was on vacation.

I swiped up, and, you know, next thing you know we're DM-ing.

- Then texting-- - Texting and...

And now we're on day 75 of Wordle.

...of Wordle, and you're, like, incredible.

- No. - Last night you got it in like two tries?

What was the word?

Death!

Cool. Oh, my God, that's so wild.

- Text and-- - Why?