King of the Hill

Do the new neighbors have any kids my age?

Joseph's getting too active.

I need someone to sit around and watch TV with.

Stop it!

No more families on the block!

Look at those free weights.

That's the sign of a fit, single woman.

She's tired of the bar scene and is looking for a man

to share her foosball table

and beer can collection with.

Now, Bobby, if a teenager moves into that house,

I'm counting on you to teach him our community values.

I know there's a lot of pressure being the Block Captain's kid,

but that was the life you were born into.

Hey, Country Bear Jamboree!

My grandma send me birthday check,

but it not in my mailbox.

Which one of you take it?

Why would we steal your check?

How do I know?

Maybe your wife needs new pitchfork.

I hope the new neighbor isn't another Kahn.

His cracks about Peggy are funny,

but other than that, he's completely useless.

Here comes the new neighbor.

It is a lady!

A big lady.

It's a man.

Oh, I didn't know this was the type of neighborhood

where guys stood outside drinking beer.

And I'm totally psyched, man!

I'm totally psyched!

Well, you should be psyched.

You can drink in the alley until 8:15 p.m.

It's all in the block charter which I left in your mailbox.

Hank Hill, Block Captain.

Nice to meet you. I'm Willie Lane.

Huh. Anybody ever tell you that you've got the same name

as a Dallas Cowboy backup lineman

from the 1976 to '79 seasons?

No.

Yep. "Big" Willie Lane.

Blocked a kick to beat the 49ers.

Then was cut one year later and moved down to Mexico

where he now wrestles animals for tourists' pennies.

You sure about that, chief?

Whoa, that's...

that's a Super Bowl ring.

Sweet Lord, you're Big Willie Lane!

Goddang, man.

You're even better than a single lady.

Yay!

I like this little chicken chest.

He's got spirit.

Yay!

Ow, my, my head.

Look at him over there, Peggy.

They never lose that nobility.

Oh, God, he's coming this way.

Just... just look casual.

Hey, Hank!

I thought you'd wanna see this.

It's the football from the kick I blocked.

Looks just like it did on TV.

Oh, uh, Willie, this is my wife, Peggy.

Hey...

Didn't you used to be one of our cheerleaders?

Me? Oh, no.

But I did go to a Cowboy's game in 1978.

Maybe you recognize me from the stands.

Dad, I changed my mind again.

Medium rare.

Think fast, big guy.

Listen here, buddy.

You have to catch it out in front with your hands,

not try to cradle it into your body.

It's a little something Billy Joe DuPree showed me.

"Billy Joe Dupree."

Way to go, Bobby.

Now, you listen to all the pointers this man gives you.

He was taught about football and life from the great Coach Landry.

Hey, Hank, there's a Cowboy's game on later

if you wanna come over.

Okay, yeah, that sounds great.

And you can bring the guys. They seem pretty cool.

See, Peggy, I told you the guys were cool.

Run, damn it, run!

Yo, don't go out of bounds!

Wuss!

-Passion. -(horn blowing on TV)

Halftime.

I'll grab a few brews.

And, hey, if we do this again,

would you guys mind bringing Sam Adams instead of Alamo?

No problem. I'll just dip into my son's college fund.

Guys, my uniform is too tight.

You think Willie would be offended if I took my pants off?

Goddangit, Bill, don't screw this up.

Hey, you guys wanna see some stuff from my career?

Hank, you've seen this.

It's the football from that kick I blocked.

Oh... and here's a picture from that kick I blocked.

Hey, Willie, I have something I think you'd be interested in.

Well, who's that handsome stud?

That's you before the weight gain.

Hey, Willie,

how'd you feel about letting me borrow your Super Bowl ring

to wear to Ladies Night at Shananigans tomorrow?

Bill, game room. Now.

Can I have some more chips,

or would that be stepping over the line, too?

Five, four, three, two, one!

We did it! Cowboys win!

-(phone rings) -Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Cowboys win!

Hey, Bob, what's up, brother?

Huh. Willie specifically said, "Come over for the game."

Boomhauer, are we overstaying our welcome if we watch the postgame show?

Mmm. Well... toss-up, man.

Oh, God. The postgame show's starting.

-What do we do? -Well...

It's our first time at Willie's.

We don't wanna come on too strong.

Goddang.

I think that's Jethro Pugh.

As God is my witness,

if I ever get back inside that house,

I'm never going to leave.

-(loud music playing) -(indistinct chatter)

One good thing about other hillbillies,

at least they all pass out by nine o'clock.

This guy need to shut up or get stronger moonshine.

Then call him to lower music, but be nice.

Maybe when we go on vacation,

we finally have someone to feed your stupid fish.

Rock on.

Yes, hello, rock on.

This Kahn Souphanousinphone, your neighbor,

and it's getting late.

Would you please lower Bad Company?

Candy, climb on down.

I'm gonna take care of this situation.

Oh, Minh, I think I'm getting somewhere.

Now, which one are you, partner?

You right across the alley?

Yeah, that me.

He's coming to apologize.

That's a start.

Right on. So, your house has the phone cord

running right by the side of the house?

Yeah, I'm not sure why that matter, but...

Aaah!

The phone is dead.

Where my stun gun?

Oh, my gosh, it's almost midnight.

Did you move back the curfew in your block charter?

Because that would be very sexy.

Well, sorry to be a tease,

but I just made a one-time exemption.

Really? Then I want the fine rescinded from my game night.

Well, Peggy, the appeals process...

Oh, my God.

Kahn's hassling Willie.

Come on now! I've had it with you and your party!

Uh-oh, you in for it now, big boy.

The Block Captain never stand for nonsense.

Hank, he cut my phone cable.

Yeah, right.

-You're... dumb. -(sighs)

Kahn, please tell me you're not gonna run over here

and blame Willie every time a phone call gets disconnected.

Right on, Double H. Right on.

I am not lying!

Now listen, you make my family follow your stupid rules all the time.

So shut down this jock ball.

It's a school night.

Hey, Double H, I'll bet a Cowboy fan like you

would love to meet Roger Staubach's pool cleaner.

He's in there? Now?

Well, yeah, he's a buddy of mine.

Come on in and meet him.

Uh... I wouldn't know what to say.

He's very easy to talk to.

Now, get on in there.

Hank, I need you!

Hank...

Block Captain.

-(gasps) -(snoring)

I cannot believe you met Roger Staubach's pool cleaner.

Yup. We played foosball.

He's a great guy.

Just a regular guy, I tell you what.