The Mother

I'm gonna be sweating like an old donkey.

You know how cold you get in London.

Come over to this side.

Can I help you with that?

Thank you very much.

Cross the road and turn right.

Which one is it? That one, I think.

Come on, they invited us.

It's us.

Hi. Sorry.

Hello.

Hello, dear.

God, you're early.

Not too early, I hope?

No, no, come in. Come in. It's great to see you at last.

Bobby's been so looking forward to this.

Just turn it off! No!

Oi!

Oi! Oi, shush.

Mind your backs.

Oh, oh, dear.

Mind your fronts, mind your minds and manners.

I'm breathing dust in.

Everybody hold their breath for 10 minutes.

It's like Buckingham palace.

Oh, thank you.

Hello, hello, hello, little ones.

Have they got any presents?

Who are they?

For god's sake, Rosie.

What a lovely house.

That's your gran and granddad. Say hello.

Hello, sweetheart. Harry.

Goodness, you've grown.

I wouldn't have recognized you.

Hello, Rosie. Hello, granddad.

Shall I take that?

Do you like jigsaws? Yeah.

What are you listening to? What?

What are you listening to?

What?

You have a broken face.

Oh, that's not very nice.

How long are you staying?

We don't know yet, dear. We haven't decided.

Great.

Can you do the bedroom...

That's a castle in Wales.

Rosie, come on. Harry.

How graceful you are, my dear. Oh, stop.

And elegant. Always like a picture.

Toots, you're always so sweet.

I'm really late.

Where is he then? Still in bed?

Harry, for god's sake, stop it! Sorry.

He had an 8:30. He'll be here in a second.

I hope he's not overdoing it.

We're all doing that.

Have you got a little job?

Oh, didn't he tell you? No.

I've just opened a shop.

Oh.

Selling what?

Cashmere. Anything you can get made out of gorgeous cashmere, look.

Feel these sweaters. Absolutely gorgeous.

Oh, my goodness. Yes, it's very soft.

You girls, you're doing everything now.

Pop into the shop if you want.

Oh, hello, darling.

Bobby.

Well, you got here okay.

You're nice and early, too.

Um, listen, I've just popped back, really, just to say hello.

Aren't you spending the day with us?

I can't. I'd love to,

but I've got wall-to-wall bloody meetings all day.

Everybody wants him.

Yeah, that's it, Mom.

Everything's going well then, eh?

Business is good?

Business is at its busiest, really.

I've got to go. We've got too busy to...

Well, I'll, uh, see you tonight, all right?

We're going to Paula's.

She's, uh, she's cooking, so watch out. All right, bye.

Look, make yourselves at home.

Use anything you want.

There's some basil risotto in the fridge.

Can I get a lift?

As long as you don't talk to me.

Most of the time you criticize me for not talking.

Because you only talk to me when I'm doing something else.

All right, mate, you want something, do you?

Yes, bye.

Yes, I know.

Are you?

Stop it. He's slow enough as it is.

Michelangelo took less time at the bloody Sistine chapel.

Yes, but this'll last longer.

Basil risotto? What the hell is that?

Hello. Hello.

Pleased to meet you, sir. I'm Darren.

Toots. Toots.

Yeah, that's me, yes, Toots.

Do you like this work?

Well, I try to.

Oh, yeah.

Some of this is very careful work.

Built it to last.

Well, they'll be sitting in here in their old age.

Oh, they won't enjoy it. They won't know what to do with themselves.

Ah, this is Bobby's mom.

And Paula's. We have a daughter.

I'm probably one of Bobby's oldest pals in, well, in London.

At college together.

Except, uh...

I left in the second week. (CHUCKLES)

Do you like cricket?

Yes, I do.

Playing or watching?

Well, I used to play a bit.

Did you? Were you a batter or bowler?

Oh, a bit of bowling.

Oh, well, I was a left-handed batter. Really? Whereabouts?

Oh, all over. Till my knee went.

Oh, really?

Pulled it, you know.

What are you laughing at? Nothing.

What's that? There.

Over to your pads, 'cause you're gonna get bowled out there, right?

Yeah, yeah. So try it once more.

Better.

What's that?

That's amusements.

Slot machines, things like that.

You have to, uh, put money in. What's that?

What does that say?

That's an optician's.

I-A...

Yeah? N.

That's it, brilliant.

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Not, not so fast.

Come on, Dad. Come on, it's not that far.

Just a minute. I'm coming.

You all right?

We should have taken the bus.

I said we should have taken the bus.

Dad, are you sure you're all right?

Yes. I just want to see Paula, come on.

He's all right.

Daddy, lift me up, please.

I don't wanna carry you now. Can't you walk?

Are you all right? Please, please.

Yes, I'm all right.

Jack!

They're here!

Jack!

Hello.

Hi. Hi.

My little ballerina!

Oh, hi, Dad.

Oh.

Still not married?

Oh, stop it. Leave her alone. Once was enough.

Hello, darling. Hello, Jacky.

Bobby made us walk. He said it was 10 minutes. It's taken us hours.

The boy needs a man like me around the place.

Well, Bobby's gonna introduce me to some of his rich friends,

aren't you, Bobby?

You know, Darren's rather adept, uh, with his hands, isn't he?

Handyman, handy chap.

Okay, anyone want a drink?

You should look after your sister.

About time she looked after herself, Dad.

Don't start arguing straight away.

Bobby, I've got something to show you. Come with me.

Come with me, let me show you this.

Look. He just left it like this.

Who has? Darren.

Well, tell him off. That's a rotten thing to do.

Yeah, well, Bobby's got him working all hours.

Excuse me, I am paying him, you know.

Jesus, I've got more than Darren to think about.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, my god.

Those wretched mobile phones.

Why do they need them?

There was a man on the phone shouting for half-an-hour the other night.

I felt like saying, "You don't need the phone, they can hear you in Glasgow."

Thank you, dear.

Really? Well, I did, you know. I promised them...

All right, Dad?

Yeah, look what I've got.

Right, can I get you a drink?

Oh, yes, that would be lovely.

Cup of tea, glass of wine?

I'll have a glass of wine. Right.

Right. Careful, everyone. This is hot.

Hey, look at that.