Final Stab

Hello?

Hiya, Charlie.

It's me.

Hi, Angela.

I was just thinking about you.

What's that going on in the background?

Green zombie, true classic.

Yuck, sounds like a great way to spend

an evening alone.

Well, why don't you come over then?

I might be motivated to watch something else.

Well, sweetheart, if I come over

and all we end up doing is watching TV,

I'll be very disappointed.

Fair enough.

Let me just hop in the shower.

If you show up and I won't answer the door

just use your keys and let yourself in.

You're taking a shower?

Why don't you save that for me?

What's that supposed to mean?

It means, every had a come back?

Wow, this is a different side to you.

You'd be surprised

what I'd do with the proper motivation, sweetheart.

See you in a few.

Angela?

I must have blown a fuse or something.

Angela?

If you're messing with me...

Angela?

If you're trying to screw with me

you're going to be very disappointed.

What the hell's going on right now?

Honey?

I mean it, this isn't funny.

- Boo. - Jesus Christ.

Scared you, huh?

See?

I brought the beer.

Very funny.

What's up with the lights?

Oh, the freaking power company.

Oh, guess we'll have to do everything by candlelight, huh?

Let me finish my shower first.

Okay, I'll just put these beers away in the fridge

then I'll join you.

Hello?

Hey Angela, you naked yet?

Angela?

What the hell?

Jesus, Charlie, another one?

Oh, baby.

They're getting worse.

Maybe you should talk to the psychiatrist again.

Maybe they can give you pills or something.

No more doctors, I'm fine.

Besides, I'm not rich like you.

I don't have money running into a shrink every time

something bad happens.

I'm sorry.

You can't keep going on like this.

I mean, you have these nightmares, you don't even know why.

They're just nightmares.

I'm sure I'll live.

Could be that half a pizza you scarfed down before bed.

Could be my crazy girlfriend.

Oh, play nice.

Come back to bed.

I'll protect you from the nightmares, okay?

You need some goddamn sleep, mister.

Okay.

All right.

And if you wake up screaming again,

I can just smother you with my pillow.

Ha ha.

I hope this isn't gonna take too long.

You're so impatient, Doug.

I think that's what I like about you.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Why don't we just cut the bullshit?

Let's get down to business here.

Well, this is the future site

of one of my more elaborate business ventures.

We're actually gonna open it up tonight.

What are you talking about?

Oh you know, I've been telling you about it for months.

Oh, right, that elaborate business venture of yours.

The one that's legal for a change.

Well, I got to tell you something, Kristin,

I'm real proud of you.

You're all grown up.

What the hell is this place?

Ride up with me.

I'll give you the nickel tour.

Tada.

This is, or was, before the bank finally closed on it,

the infamous palermo estate.

Never heard of it?

Sorry, local history really wasn't my thing.

It should be.

See, back in '95 there was a family living here

and one night somebody or several somebodies snuck in,

broke the lock and ah, choo,

hacks him into hamburger helper.

Four people, all dead.

Very Charles manson.

Sort of.

They never caught the guys who did it.

This place is a big legend around here.

The locals almost burned it down twice

in the last five years.

They think it's cursed.

Or haunted.

So you, naturally, went and bought the place?

Sure, a girl's got to have her hobbies.

Right.

Okay, so uh, why am I here?

Well, I'm planning on throwing a party out here tonight.

For Angela.

Okay, second time.

Why am I here?

Well, I need you to talk to her for me.

It's been a long time since she and I have gotten along.

If I ask her, she won't come.

Yeah, well, she is wise beyond her years.

You're her best friend, Doug.

This isn't going to work unless Angela's here,

you know that.

Look, I just think you should just drop it, okay?

I mean, really.

No, I got Julie and Patrick here setting things up.

Brett and Steve are on their way.

I've got it all planned out.

What?

What, you got the whole gang down here?

What, what is this gonna be?

The Ivy league losers party?

Besides, I don't even think Angela likes those guys.

Everybody will be okay once I bury the hatchet.

Look, I'm not gonna be the go-between between you

and your sister, okay?

So why don't you just grow up, pick up the damn phone,

and do it yourself.

Oh, I hate it when we're not love.

Okay, that's, you know.

I've got the right equipment, keep it.

Wrong game.

Besides, I'm sure you tell it to all the boys.

Like?

Oh, Brett.

Brett is a marriage of convenience.

We conveniently fuck, he conveniently leaves,

and I move on to conveniently fuck someone else.

Look, come to think of it, maybe that is love.

Okay, how about Charlie?

Don't even joke about that.

Look, if you don't want to cooperate

how about I take a drive down to the country club

and tell all your friends are a little secret?

Or your parents?

Thank you.

I'm gonna be off for awhile doing some errands

but Julie and Brett are here setting things up.

I want Charlie and Angela out here this evening,

8:00 o'clock, okay?

Things should be set up by then.

Okay, what happens after that?

Hey, do yourself a favor, don't fret about it.

Oh, Doug, give me a big smile, huh?

Give me a big smile.

I don't get what the big deal is about this flyer.

I don't know.

It's all those rich kids up at the hardware store

buying all kinds of weird shit.

One of them dropped that.

It's a flyer looking for local actors, drama students,

that kind of stuff,

yeah?

So why the hell should we care?

Because that bitch Kristin Mitchell's behind all this.

Her name's on the flyer.

You mean that preppy chick?

Oh man.

Oh, yeah.

That's that tease that got you all worked up

at that donatello mega kegger and ditched you

for somebody else, right?

Fuck you, Earl.

Her folks on the textile plant my old man worked for.

He got laid off last year for no reason.

Three months before its pension was supposed to kick in.

You know, maybe we should just leave it alone.

Those assholes are bad news.

Well, the way I see it is,

if you guys ain't interested in helping me out,

it's one hell of a long walk back to town.

Helping you with what?

And her buddies a little visit.

I'm tired of her playing games with people's heads.