A Christmas Cancellation

Okay.

What is life?

Is all that we seem but a dream within a dream?

Man is a giddy thing, that you have such power in your minds

as to create life out of shadows and words,

and when we end, you will remember us

like old friends you used to know, but time forgot.

And so, on behalf of the leading man,

the funny friend, the sarcastic roommate,

the quiet one, and the love interest.

Thank you for making us alive.

I'm Benny.

And I'm Bea.

And after a high school romance,

we went our separate ways.

But when we both answered the same ad.

To rent a house in the suburbs.

- We used that chance to get the whole gang back together.

- Living with your friends can get a little weird.

But if we can survive this bunch.

Then maybe.

Just maybe.

- We were meant to be. - We were meant to be.

Zip.

(scoffs) Zap.

Zop.

Zip.

Zap.

- Zop. - Zip.

Zap, Richie.

I need to decorate.

I have all these wreaths.

Look, I used to do this all the time.

It was fun.

Fine.

Zap.

(scoffs) It's zip.

I don't get this.

What's not to get?

You say zip, I say zap, you say zop, then repeat.

If you mess up, you're out.

Easy.

It's not like it's Risk.

I hate Risk.

Okay, I have to put these up.

Wait, hold on.

- Richie, you're the one who keeps reminding us

that there's only two weeks until Christmas.

I'm trying to get ready.

But we were talking about Risk.

I prefer Life.

The game, Life.

Uh-huh.

Monopoly-lite?

Yeah.

Pink and blue peg, wheel spinney.

Let's pretend we have insurance Life?

It's so cute.

It's like you're a little pink peg.

And then, along comes a blue manly peg,

and he sweeps you away in your little plastic car

and you go to the farm and have your little plastic kids.

See, this is why I like Risk.

Seize the day, boys.

Or zip, zap, zop.

Live in the moment.

Not me and Benny.

We have a destiny.

(gags) Gross.

Where is old Benny blue peg, anyway?

Fixing the video game.

Is he okay?

He only does that when he's wigging out.

I know.

I think he's planning something.

With the video game?

With me.

I thought you were the smart one.

That's Maggie.

I'm the funny friend.

No, no, no, no.

Maggie is the sarcastic roommate.

I guess that makes me the smart one.

(scoffs) You're the love interest.

Gee.

Thanks.

Does that make Benny the leading man?

He's definitely not the smart one.

Then, who's the smart one?

I don't know.

Claude?

You need to go decorate.

We only have-

I know, two weeks.

Okay.

I'm off.

Uncle Ratty is dead?

As in, dead-dead?

The only kind of dead there is.

Fair.

I never got to meet him.

Neither did I.

Years ago, I gave him a kidney.

A kidney.

Like, one of yours?

He needed a kidney.

I had two, so I gave him one.

What's the problem?

I didn't know that.

Claude, I have a scar.

Huh?

- That's why he let us live in this house so cheap.

Oh, well then, I'm gonna miss him.

Yeah well, you won't have to.

We're in his will.

We are?

Yup.

And me, a little more.

Holy crap.

That's.

That's us?

Mm hm.

All ours now.

The money, the mansion.

The horse farm.

In Alaska.

Where they farm horses.

Benny's gonna freak.

Richie's gonna freak.

Richie is a freak.

What about Bea?

Bea's cool.

Coming through.

Except at Christmas.

Yeah, I take that back.

Not cool at all.

Don't tell them.

Oh yeah.

No, I won't. - Tell us what?

Don't-

- What a great job you're doing decorating the house.

Yeah, we can't tell you that.

Yeah.

Thank you.

So.

So, that's how many now total?

117, 18, 19.

Oh, that's-

Yeah, 120 would be good though.

It would be, but I think we're good.

- Yeah? - With what we have.

Maybe even less.

No, no.

No, you're right.

No, less is never the answer.

It's always more, more, more. - Yeah, more, definitely.

- Well, I mean, sometimes, maybe less is more.

Yes.

Do you think she'd notice if we took some of them down?

Guys.

Oh.

Oh.

Let's go see what.

Okay.

I know what this is about.

I've almost got it.

He'll never get it.

Sh.

You've been trying to fix

that old things since you got it.

I will not be discouraged by you.

Right, Bea?

Sure, honey.

You got to do that now?

Perfect.

Okay, sweetie, you have it.

Here we go.

Ta-dah.

Crap on a stick.

You'll get it one day.

What?

Wait.

Actually, I kind of had something in mind for tonight.

Really?

Tonight?

Claude.

Now?

Now.

Almost got it.

Wait, where's Richie?

Richie.

I want everyone to be here for this.

Benny.

It's Richie time.

Hey, Rich.

What's up best friend?

Ask Benny.

Okay.

Everyone.

Claude.