The Bear

-Go time. -Ooh.

-You look good. -Yeah?

I am proud of you.

-I'm proud of you. -I love you.

-I love you so much. -Mmm.

-And I love you. -

And I love you.

Mmm.

Mwah.

- My God, just fucking go. -Yeah.

- -Do this.

Okay, you better be home by 5:15.

No problemo, babe.

Yo, stop, stop.

You're gonna wake up the whole neighborhood.

Be fucking on time.

-Shit, I forgot s… -Are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, give me a sec.

Motherfucker. Damn it.

Fucking… oh yeah, there it is.

-There it is. -Oh, Jesus.

-Would you get in a fucking c-- -You want me to go in that car?

-Get in the fucking car! -

-Get in the car. -Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Let's go.

J-Just nothing loud yet, all right, just…

W-Why are you slamming that for?

Why do you have to… Just… Just fucking shut it.

I didn't slam it.

Don't say you didn't when you did.

Mike, I did this.

You gotta show me again.

- Yeah, exactly. -All right, just stop.

How terrible is that fucking filth?

I got it from fucking GoGo's.

I think it's pretty good. What is it, hazelnut?

And they're debit only now.

What if you don't have a debit card, right?

Then you're fucked if you don't have a debit card.

You got the debit card. You got to pay a fucking fee.

-They fuck you in the ass either way. -Yeah, because if they do the credit card,

then they got to pay a percentage to the credit card.

I understand, but why fuck the customer? It's just for no reason.

Got to tell you, Mike, it's kind of like a little bit of a glass-half-empty

kind of energy you're working with for this mission.

00-fucking-suck-my-dick. What do you mean a mission?

Yo, we're fucking transporting some goods across state lines.

We're taking a fucking tape box to Gary, Indiana.

Gary, fucking Indiana. That's where we're going.

What's in the box?

I don't know what's in the fucking box. It's taped. I just said it's taped.

You can tell me.

All right, fair enough. I don't need to know.

You're a fucking donkey. That's what you fucking are.

That's what you are, you fucking haul…

You don't even know what you're fucking taking.

You're just fucking moving. Donkey. Fucking pack mule donkey.

-I am a donkey. -Yeah.

You ever see what a donkey's packing downstairs?

Did you see that donkey downstairs?

Hee-haw.

-What's happening? -Stay here.

Is that Jimmy?

Mike.

Thank you, Michael.

-What are you doing? -You good?

Didn't I say stay in the car?

-What? -Man, I said stay in the car.

Why can't you just stay in the fucking car?

-You didn't say stay in the car. -You didn't hear me say stay in the car?

-You didn't say it. -You just fucking watching me?

I didn't hear you 'cause you didn't say it.

It's too much, Rich.

-Fucking dog. Huh? -I'm not a fucking dog.

You can't fucking tell me where, where to go and when to do it.

Yo, look what I made last night.

You made a fucking… Did you make that?

Yeah, I made this. Tunes for Gary.

Come on, baby, let's do this.

-Oh, oh, oh. -Gradual with the volume.

-All right? Just… Just… -I am gradual with the volume.

-Just turn it off. -This is gradual with the volume.

- -That's exactly what I did.

-I swear to God, if you… -Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

I'll pull this fucking car over and leave you here. You understand?

This is not… this is… This is not gradual with the speaker.

- -Like that.

That's not what I did. I know how to… I respect the fucking car.

Now I want you to respect the fucking music.

Good gracious.

-Yeah, there he is. There he is. -

-There he is. -Stop. Don't fucking touch me. Stop, stop.

You want to hear some fun facts about Gary?

Can't wait.

Guess the population.

70,000.

Uh, it is a Rust Belt city.

It was once known as Magic City.

It was once also known as the city of the century.

-City of the century. -54% female.

For those of us in the car that are, you know, not married…

- -…that might be a pretty fun fact.

-Obviously John Cougar Mellencamp. -Michael Jackson, you fucking orangutan.

-Michael Jackson's from Gary? -The whole Jackson 5 for that matter.

You could have fucking said Tito before fucking John Cougar Mellencamp.

All right.

Oh shit. Koney King does a pizza puff.

-What? -Koney King does a pizza puff.

I thought that was just a Chicago thing.

You're trying to tell me you're not at all excited about traveling more?

-Traveling? -Yeah.

You're not just tired of the same old, same old?

This is what I'm talking about, Michael. This is a fucking mission.

Jimmy's entrusting us with some more responsibility.

We got the fucking open road ahead of us, you know.

There's a lot of, you know, positive things about this day.

Responsibility, huh? Yeah?

-Yeah. -You feeling respected?

-Yeah. -Yeah?

I think with time you'll come to find that this is a…

maybe a potentially transformative day.

Come on. We're having a great day. Bop down to Gary.

Little bada bing, bada boom, bop back out of here.

We're fucking home by 5:15, the latest.

5:15? Why 5:15?

It's just a thing with Tiff that she's got superstition about.

Superstition about what?

Her mom went into labor at 5:15 and she got it in her head

that she's gonna, you know, the same thing's gonna happen to her.

-That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. -I can't…

-Why would the same thing… -I know.

'Cause literally, how many minutes are in a fucking day?

There's like thousands of fucking minutes in a day.

Why would it happen at the same time? -I'm not saying this makes any sense.

So we need to be back by 5:15 because her fucking mother spit her ass out…

It's a non-- It's a non-issue.

-It's the stupidest shit I ever heard. -It's a non-issue.

It is a fucking issue if you're saying we got to be back by 5:15.

We'll be back by 5:15.

-That's why I'm saying it's a non-issue. -It's fucking retarded.

You'd rather be fucking serving beefs all day?

Come on. Like an open road.

Yo.

-Welcome to Indiana. -There you go.

You're a fucking world traveler, Rich.

-Congratulations. -Let's go.

Oh yeah, you feel different?

- City of Magic. -City of the century.

You think this happened overnight?

Oh yeah, they just flipped the switch.

-And everything just went… -They flipped a switch.

Definitely doesn't feel like Chicago.

It's like 35 minutes away.

Yo. I don't know what to say. She'll change quick.

-Call up Jimmy. -Just…

- Hey! Hi hon. Hi. -Hey. How are you feeling?

Uh, um, I, you know, I think I'm good.

- -What do you mean?

I don't know. I'm not sure how to describe it.

-It's just like, it's like… -What?

It's like, I feel like I have to shit really bad, but I don't know.

I can't tell if this is what the doctor said to look out for.

Okay.

Contraction? You think it's like…

-Like Braxton Hicks? -Okay.

Uh, yeah, probably. But you know, I'll be okay.

It's not close to 5:15 yet, so.

-Yeah? -Yeah, don't worry, I'm okay.

-Okay. -Did you do the drop-off?

-Uh, almost. -Uh-huh. Well, I'm proud of you.

I'm really proud of you. How's the drive? Are you having fun?

Yeah, yeah, we're having a good time.

And how about Mikey? Is he okay?

-Yeah, he's good. -Okay, that's great.

But don't smoke any cigarettes though, honey. Promise me, right?

-Right. -Okay.

Listen, I'm gonna call you back, okay?

-Try me if you need anything. I love you. - All right. I love you.

Okay, I love you so much.

What's up? What did he say?

He said he'd let us know in a few hours.

He'll let us know.

What's a few?

-Like three? Four? -Richie, I didn't say it. He said it.

We had hours to kill in Gary. You still feeling respected?

Fuck it. Let's just, I don't know, let's get something to eat.

You see that? It's Michael Jackson's house.

-Huh. -Yeah.