Moonshine - First Season

- I don't understand why psycho gets to drive!

- You don't even have a licence.

- This is nova scotia. There's no one on the roads.

I am on the roads.

This is oppression!

This is nora finley-cullen at cove fm,

And where do I begin with the summer fun?

You can catch the male-forward stylings

Of the moonshine house band this Saturday night.

Stay tuned for the family smackdown.

My big sis, lidia, is back in town.

welcome home, sucker.

Or if you feel like saying goodbye to felicia finley,

And I know you don't,

Her memorial is this Sunday at the moonshine,

Followed by a lobster supper.

All you can eat.

- No, I'm sorry, the weekend is fully booked.

No, we don't do online reservations.

Well, I like to vet our guests personally.

It is quaint.

Yes, I'm writing your number down now.

First in line if anything should come up.

Didn't like the sound of him. - You seen rhian, hon?

Number eight needs mowing.

- No, and you don't want to when her sister shows up.

- Rhian doesn't know lidia's coming?

Slipped my mind.

- Ryan? - Mia.

Outhouses need painting,

The golf cart's brakes are shot,

And the septic's backed up.

- And the lobster pound's calling,

Looking for their cheque. - And we're full up.

So it's all good.

- No clue where lidia and the kids are gonna sleep.

And you know how she is.

How is she?

- Grandpa! Grandma! - Hello!

- Hey! - Uncle sammy!

Hey grandpa, how ya doin'?

- It's so good to be home! - Oh, is it now?

- It was when I practiced that line.

- Don't leave me alone with them.

Neil! Neil young!

Neil, come here, boy! - I got it.

- Okay. - Is it fair he gets a pet?

No! What do I get? Not a car.

- Oh, just like your mother at that age.

- I'm nothing like my mother. - Exactly like your mother.

I'm talking about these two.

- Where's daniel? - Business is nuts.

He's trying for a standby outta newark.

- Well, I bought your brothers and sisters a subscription

To that magazine. - Mom.

- Celebrity architects in the family.

They're proud. - Yeah, did they say that?

Great to see you too, rhian.

No fighting this weekend.

Aunt felicia deserves a peaceful send-off.

How do you feel about a room with a view?

It feels like a meth trailer.

We're here for two days.

Oh, journals. Juicy!

Wait, is this...

- Meth trailer horror movie! Are these her ashes?

- Hmm, well, it was- is her home.

No wonder she lived alone.

- She lived alone because she was a shunned lesbian

With undiagnosed bipolarism,

Forced to turn to grain alcohol and "jeopardy!" to cope.

Makes sense you ran away.

- Going to college is not running away.

And yet, you never came back.

- Out of respect for your grandparents,

For the next 48 hours, we are proud finley-cullens.

Capisce?

A six-pack, and...

A potato gun? Ha, ha!

Now we're talkin'! boom!

Ugh!

Eleanor!

Ah! Oh! Wha-? Ohh!

ewwww!

Ohh!

Oh, let's go!

So rhian thought I had anchored the wharf.

- Wait! Lidia thought that he had--

Oh, I'm sorry, you go! I just love this part.

- Turns out, no one did. - No one!

- Before we knew it, we were halfway to chester

With nothin' but a nor'easter, and one mother of a bong!

Lidia! I'm tellin' 'em about the floating wharf!

Everyone, this is my beautiful sister, lidia.

Big-time new york architect.

Gonna be on the cover of a magazine.

Lidia! Yeah!

Nice night for a bonfire,

Except it's 3:00 in the morning.

- There's no clock on the beauty of human connection.

- I have heard so much about you!

You are nothing like rhian described.

You are so pretty.

Bed, now!

- Come on, lids, let's all swim out to the wharf,

Like old times. - Yeah!

- How 'bout you not drown my child?!

- I'm just showin' her who our people are.

- Oh, everyone knows who our people are.

It-it's true, babe. They do.

Whoa, look out!

Watch out! Watch out!

Get outta the way! - Brakes!

Somebody help-ah! Oh! Aaah! Oh!

- Ohhh... - Oh, my gosh!

- I heard a crunch. Did you hear a crunch?

Get it off him!

- I'll take the front. - It never changes around here.

- Well, with time, support, and regular meetings!

- Not buying the rehab schtick, ry.

- No, me neither, I'm not really an aa kinda guy.

No, you take pride in being a screw up!

- Better than a fun sponge! Three, two, one! Oh!

Ugh!

Ah...

Hey!

- Woo! Yeah! - Sir? You okay?

I can't feel my face.

Now you got a story to tell!

- Woo! - Aaah!

Ambulance. That was fast.

Mom. Dad!

Ah... Minor stroke.

No nerve damage, as far as the doc can tell.

A stroke?

- Yeah, the stress of losing felicia, I guess.

That and mixing wine with the old blood pressure meds.

- Blood pressure? Hold on, did you know she was sick?

- No, 'cause no one tells me anything around here.

Ask nora, she's your sister.

- Oh yeah, my sister when there's a crisis.

- Uh, this place is a crisis, every damn day!

You're a freakin' tourist. Uninvited, I might add!

- Okay, we still have a business to run, right?

So, I'll cover the desk, the phones.

- Good. Your mum needs quiet. No stress.

And keep the riffraff out.

- Well, that narrows it down. - Uh, the injured camper?

- All good. Until the screech wears off.

- I will deal with the roadkill.

Lidia?

Oh, she's awake.

Good luck?

Oh, favourite daughter.

I should kill you myself.

It was a mini stroke.

You know, like those tiny little Halloween kit kats.

one, two, doesn't count.

- Mom, I know we don't talk much,

But you need to tell me these things.

- Oh, you have enough to worry about

With the kids, your work, your marriage.

my marriage is fine!

"standby outta newark."

If that is not a code for bullshit, I don't know what is.

You don't need to know every little thing

That happens around here.

Ryan, back in rehab,

Nora appears to have abandoned ship, aunt felicia, dead.

Anything else I don't need to know?

- Kimmy from save easy sent over some oolong.

- Yeah, that'll help. - You're right.

Let's spend the weekend settling old scores.

Dig up the hatchet. Life happens, lidia.

- And then, you pretend it didn't.

- No, you get on with it, one day at a time.

- Look, maybe it's time to slow down.

You've always wanted to go to nepal, see the pyramids.

- I've never wanted either of those things.

- But what if you did? Do you wanna die

Behind that reception desk? - Me on a camel.

- Well, then, learn mandarin, collect skulls, start a cult.

Mom, if you sold the moonshine,

You'd have the money to take it easy, retire.

Who'd buy this old sinkhole?

- I don't know, same kind of suckers who bought it

The first time around?

Piss off, dear.

We'll continue our chat with hometown

Celebrity architect, lidia bennett,

After this not-so-classic masterpiece

Of mandatory cancon.

So did you know mom was sick?

- I only found out because I was stealing downers,

And found her blood pressure pills,

Which she then tried to pass off as laxatives.

- What is it about this family and denial?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

it's geographical cyanide...

The moonshine killed aunt felicia,