Adolescence

Oh.

Do you work here?

- Um, I'm a visitor. - Right.

Right. Do you wanna just come through for a second?

Sorry. I'm a bit late.

That's all right. I saw you coming up on the cameras.

He's being brought down.

Um, I heard he was involved in a violent incident.

- How'd you hear that? - It was reported up.

- That would be useful to see... - Is that... relevant?

To what you'll assess?

I'd like to see it.

Okay. I'll, uh, fire up the megaport.

Yeah, he's been pretty quiet.

Don't know if that's relevant.

If what I think and observe is relevant to what you assess.

Here we go.

- Yeah. It's just bruising and scratching. - I read the report.

- Both blame the other. - I know. I read the report.

You're on... five visits?

- Yes. - Mm.

Know what you're gonna say in the report?

I wouldn't be here if I knew that.

Well, the other one of you. He only needed three, so...

You can't say any more.

It's important I don't know what the other psychologist says,

does, or thinks.

It's about making the right assessment, not the fastest.

- Sorry. I'm just being an idiot. - No, I did... That's just the way I work.

Right. That's Jamie in place.

I'll take you through.

I need to get a hot chocolate from the machine.

I remember.

Get off me!

No! You get off!

Yeah, we've got a torture lab in the basement.

Government approved. All very hush-hush.

What are they?

He likes his hot chocolate with marshmallows on.

You must mean business. Never done them before.

That was, uh, Mark, I think.

Radiator burns all over him, poor kid.

I don't know what he did to get here, though.

He's not famous like your Jamie.

- Come on! - Two of us on the way now.

Right. You know where I am.

- You okay? - Yes.

- Hi, Jamie. - Hi.

- You need us, we're here. - Yes.

- Same goes for you, Jamie. - Yeah.

We'll be watching, okay?

Hot chocolate.

Spri... Sprinkles?

Lots of them.

You remembered. Thank you.

And I saved you half my sandwich in case you were hungry.

What is it?

Cheese and pickle.

No tomatoes?

Tomatoes don't go very well with pickle.

No salad?

Would I do that to you?

There's no tomatoes. No salad. There's just cheese and pickle.

- Do you want it? I'll save it for later. - No. I'll have it.

Ah, I... I don't know about pickle, though, but... I'll have it.

- Did you make it? - Yes.

- You make butties, do you? - What, you think that's weird?

No. My mum makes 'em.

Well, that makes two of us, then.

This is nice.

It's a bit hot.

I don't mind hot.

- You're looking better than last time. - What's that supposed to mean?

You've just got some of your color back.

- You sound like a granny. - Do I?

"Oh, you got your color back. You can't have been that ill."

- That's a good voice. - No.

Do you see your grandparents much?

- Well, not recently, no. - No, I meant before all this.

Yeah, a bit.

My dad's side... my dad's mum and dad. My mum didn't get on with hers.

Yeah, we spoke about that.

So, what are your dad's parents like?

I don't know. Like him.

Well, what does that mean?

They like things as they like them. "No gravy. Such a shame."

Or, "I like a slice with my dinner if you've got one in, Amanda."

A slice... A slice of what?

Bread.

- You're posh, aren't ya? - No, I'm just not from where you're from.

Well, what do you call bread if you don't call it a slice?

Mm, bread?

You're posh.

If it makes you happy that I am, Jamie, then I am.

Well, what do you call your grandad? Bet you call him "Grandpa."

- I do not. - I bet you do.

I call him "Pop-pop."

What?

Do ya?

- Yes, I do. - Wow!

- Jesus. I've not heard that one before. - I don't know why.

Okay. Maybe he asked me to call him that. I'm not sure.

God, you're really posh.

Are you not gonna try the sandwich?

I'll have it later. It's just... the pickle.

Hate it.

You hate it?

- Oh, I really messed up, then. - Yeah, you did.

Okay.

So, can we talk a bit about you?

You see a lot of your dad in your grandad, do you?

Yeah, I don't know.

Is it just what they say, or how they do things?

What's your dad and his dad like?

Men.

Okay. Well, would "masculine" be an okay word to use?

You used it.

When I hear the word "masculine," I think they can mend things.

They like to make things.

They like sports. They like going to the pub.

Yeah.

Not the pub, but, yeah.

Your dad doesn't go to the pub?

No, not... not really.

Not as much as my pop-pop.

- Not gonna let me forget that, are you? - No.

So, your grandad's more of a pub man, is he?

I dunno. He... He's not around that much anymore.

How much?

Every other Sunday, maybe.

Sometimes in the week when they're both...

Mum and Dad are both working, but that's more Granny.

A bit more in the holidays.

- We went to Tenerife with them once. - On holiday?

No, banana picking.

- Obviously it was on holiday. - Okay.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone use banana picking in a comeback.

I suppose the other thing I think about when I hear the word "masculine"

would be the way that masculine men...

This started 'cause I said you sounded like a granny.

What?

This all started because I said you sounded like a granny.

And now you're just going on about masculine stuff.

Yes.

The first time you came, you had actual questions.

"Is this right, Jamie? Do you know whether this is wrong, Jamie?"

- Now you're just chatting shit. - I hope I'm not.

Well, you are, because the first time you're all,

"If an adult guinea pig eats one of its kids, is that normal or weird?"

- And now you're, "What do you call bread?" - Come on.

- I'm interested. - It feels like a trick.

Trick? Trick into what?

My dad's okay.

All right?

Okay. I know.

Just talking about him.

There isn't a need.

Fine, if that's how you feel. But I'm not trying to trick you.

- And now I've pissed you off. - No.

Can I see your notes? What you've got written down about me?

- Do you see me writing? - You must write stuff.

Yes.

Can I see what you wrote? What you've written?

Of course you can't.

- The lawyers have said you work for us. - That's not what they say, Jamie.

And I know that because I asked them the last time you said that to me.

You talk to them?

I explained. I've been employed by your team, but I don't work for you.

- What do you tell them? - I'm writing an independent...

- What do they say to you? - A presentence offense report.

Which the judge will read to get an understanding of you

and your understanding of the charges. Okay?

All I want to do is talk to you, Jamie, and have you talk to me.

Yes, I've asked some straightforward questions.

But I think...

Am I boring you?

- No. - Okay.

I think you, and everyone else for that matter,

are far more complex than straightforward questions allow for.

We had a good conversation last time. Can we try that again?

What did we talk about last time?

We spoke about your friends, your sister, your mum. We went...

- Can't remember saying anything about 'em. - Well, you did.

How you feel about them. How Lisa's doing. What you think your mum thinks of you.

- Now you wanna talk about my dad? - I want to talk about lots of things.

I could tell you questions that I wrote down to talk to you about today.

If that helps.

All right. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I wanted to talk about the fight you had.

- That was nothing. - I was interested why you got in a fight.

- He hit me first. - Why?

Because we've had beef over stuff.

It doesn't matter. It wasn't a proper fight.

- It's not that interesting? - It's not.

Okay, let's move on.

- What? I'm in charge now, am I? - Mm. Maybe.

I also wrote down that I wanted to talk to you about what being a man feels like.

You want a cock and balls, do ya?

I'm interested in what being a man feels like for you.

I dunno.