Everybody Loves Raymond

- Hey, Pistol Pete. - Hey.

Look. I'm wearing the birthday necklace you gave me.

I've been getting compliments all week.

See? Once in a while I can fancypants it.

- You seen my "Sports Illustrated"? - Nope.

Are you sure? 'Cause I left it here a couple days ago.

I don't know, but we have to eat,

and there's always piles of everything everywhere.

Oh. You threw it out, didn't you?

I'm just saying if it was there for days

and it didn't get put away, then yeah,

there's a chance it got thrown out.

Okay, look, here's the rule:

Don't touch my stuff.

No no. Here's the rule: Put your stuff away.

You... you just... you love throwing my stuff out.

You'd be happy if the mailman delivered my magazine

right into the garbage.

You got me there.

Look, come on. This is my house too.

If I put something there,

I should be able to get to it when I get to it.

You know I'm a slow reader.

Look, there's a very simple solution to this...

put your stuff away.

No. No.

Don't touch my stuff.

Put it away.

Don't touch it.

- Put it... - Don't!

I will not touch it

if you put it away.

I will put it away

when you're done not touching it.

Genius.

Yeah. That's right.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Or did you throw that out too?

Hey, just the man I was looking for.

Where were you? We got tee time in 30 minutes.

Relax your undies.

I want to show you something before we go.

Whaddaya got, the rash that looks like a bunny again?

Actually, yes.

But I thought you might rather look at this.

- What? - Remember when you wrote that article

about how Muhammad Ali was your first sports hero?

- Yeah. - Might want to read that.

"Dear Ray, your brother sent me

your excellent article.

I enjoyed it very much,

even though nothing rhymed.

Keep dancing, Muhammad Ali."

All right, come on. We're late for golf.

Wait. Wait wait.

What...

What is this? Muhammad Ali...

How did you get this?

Okay. Listen...

my partner and I, we went on this call, right?

And there was this nutjob lady who was bothering Ali.

She thinks she's Joe Frazier and Ali is trying to,

you know, duck her.

Anyway, she's now the heavyweight champ of Bellevue.

So I end up talking to Ali's manager,

and I sent him your article, and he sent this back.

My God, Robert.

You're welcome.

I'm gonna frame this.

I'm gonna redesign the house around this.

I'm glad you like it. Come on.

Gianni and Andy are waiting for us.

It's time for me to beat you at golf.

You know what? Today I'm gonna let you.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

All right, good. Let's go.

Oh, and uh, thanks, man. You're a good brother.

Great brother.

The greatest of all time.

No no no, Amy, listen, listen.

If you want to get a facial with the nails,

I have this great place.

Yes, I have a card for it here somewhere. Hold on.

'Cause the last thing you want is a bad facial.

I mean, it's your face, for God's sake.

Ugh.

No, it's just this drawer is always messy.

There's just so much junk in this house.

Here it is. I got it. Yeah. All right.

The name of the place is "Put on a Happy Face."

Now... now...

Yeah. These people are so great.

You're just gonna love them. And you know what?

While you're there, why don't you get a pedicure?

Absolutely. Yes yes yes yes.

You just like...

make it a spa day, yeah.

Can you hang on one second?

I hear the garbage truck. I just want to catch it.

Yeah. Hold on.

Wait. Excuse me. Wait.

Okay, thank you.

Whoo.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I just barely caught him.

The trashman let me throw it on the garbage truck myself.

No, he does not have a crush on me.

He only loves me for my garbage.

Hey, guys. How was golf?

- It was great. - Yeah, great.

18 holes of

"Muhammad Ali sent me a letter.

I love Muhammad Ali and Muhammad Ali loves me."

I thought the Ali talk was inspiring.

It made me want to knock Ray out.

Wow. When did Muhammad Ali send you a letter?

Today. Robert sent him the article I wrote,

and Ali liked it so much that he sent me a letter and...

hey, wait wait wait... what...

- What's the matter? - Nothing. Nothing.

- I put it right in here. - You put the letter in there?

Yeah. I mean, did somebody go in here?

'Cause it was resting right on the top.

You put the letter in there?

Yes. I put it in here.

I remember putting it right in here.

I mean... I mean... what the hell?

There is no letter, is there, Ray?

Yes. There is. I put it right here.

You know what might have happened to your Muhammad Ali letter?

Mickey Mantle came and took it and got away on Secretariat.

Shut up. Did you see it?

Me? I have not been in that drawer all week.

- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.

What do you think, I threw your letter out?

Just say it. You think I threw your letter out.

'Cause that's the kind of thing I do, 'cause I'm such a terrible person.

I'm always throwing all your stuff out.

That's what you think of me.

Uh-oh, Ray. Looks like Olga Korbut

came in and drank all your ginger ale.

Shut up. Come on, get out.

Okay. We'll be at Marco's.

Yeah, call us when you find your imaginary letter.

I don't get it, I don't get it.

What did I do? I mean, I put it here.

I mean... what the hell did I do?!

L-is it back in there?

Michael. Geoffrey. Ally. Come down here.

- They're at school, Ray. - Oh, right. What the hell?!

You know, I'm... I'm sure it's gonna show up.

What the hell? What the hell?

Hello, dear. How are you?

- I don't know. - What's wrong?

Ray is gonna kill me.

Oh, dear. I told you...

you know, salt is just a seasoning.

It can't be the main ingredient.

No no no, Marie, it's not that.

Ray got this letter from Muhammad Ali...

I heard.

You know that Robert's responsible for the correspondence?

Yes, I know.

He was so excited to do that for his little brother.

He hasn't talked about anything else. Isn't that sweet?

You know, Raymond's loved that Muhammad Ali

ever since I can remember.

- I threw it out. - What?!

I threw the letter out.

Oh my God, why would you do such a thing?

I was straightening up.

No, really... why?

I don't know, I don't know...

it was like I was looking for this coupon

and the drawer was full of junk

and I was distracted on the phone,

so I emptied it and I stomped on it

and I threw it on the garbage truck myself.

Oh, dear.

What was the coupon for?

A facial.

Vanity, vanity, vanity.

It wasn't for me.

- You know, Robert's gonna be upset too. - I know.

Ma, I'm looking for Robert. Where's Robert? Robert!

I'm looking for this... this letter.

It was in a white envelope...

- Ray. - What?

- There's something I gotta tell you. - What?

I threw out your Muhammad Ali letter.

- What?! - Marie!

I know, Raymond. I am sorry.

I didn't realize what I was doing

until Debra said to me that it was in the drawer and l...

And you threw it out?!

I gotta get to the trash.

The truck came already.

Oh-hh!

Muhammad!

Muhammad!