Best Worst Movie

Want me to come pick you up?

Ok.

Ok.

Oh, that's what they tell me.

Ok, all right.

Bye.

Hey, merry.

Hey.

Hey.

Sure.

Yeah, I'll come pick her up.

This is the best protein drink ever right here.

Gotta stay lean and fit.

Omega-3s, omega-6s, and a little bit of saturated fat.

But it's good fat.

Ah, maybe I'll cut a mango up.

Let's just try that one today.

Oh, man, that's a raw...

That's a pretty old mango.

This is what it's like when you're a bachelor.

You have old, raw stuff.

It... it doesn't need to go in there.

Oh, I almost forgot...

Forgot my, uh, coffee.

I've done that before.

But we're about to go pick up my daughter right now, which

is great because Lily lives close to me.

And it's wonderful.

But she lives with me half the time or with

mom half the time.

We have a good relationship.

Hey, sweetie.

There you go.

Lily, are you...

Are you already texting this morning?

Oh, my gosh.

How many texts do you think you do a day?

Oh, you don't do 1,000.

But you do a lot, don't you?

Are you... a day?

See you about 2:00.

Are you excited about coming today?

Huh?

It's going to be fun, isn't it?

What are we do today?

Are we going to do two fillings today?

I think we are, aren't we?

Can I ask... can I ask you another... can

I ask another question?

Please?

Just one more question, just one.

I'm not going to ask two questions.

Can I ask three questions?

Yes.

Can I ask you just like... can I ask five

questions or one?

Five...

All right.

Question number five.

You ready?

Dr. Hardy's office.

This is Tina.

-If you was another age... if you were another age, would

you like to be seven or eight?

If you... could you...

Which would you like to...

Can I ask you another question?

-Dr. Hardy as a boss is just like he is as a friend.

I mean, we to him just like he's one of us.

We talk to him about anything.

-Not long after George set up his practice, we had some

students who had major dental work that needed to be done.

And George, after one phone call, took that on, basically

transformed the lives of a couple of kids by doing their

dental work totally free.

Didn't have to do that, but did it because he know that's

what those kids needed.

And it's change their lives.

Which one do you like?

Which one do you like, sweetie?

-George Hardy is the most authentic, alive person.

A lot of people, as they get older, they get set in their

ways, and they get bored with their life.

Or they just get settled.

Somebody like George... He's not settled.

You know?

He's alive.

-Will you kill me if I tell them?

No, tell them.

Tell them.

-The reason that the home town folks love George is because

George dresses up like a roller blading tooth fairy in

the Christmas parade every year.

I'm...

I'm trying to think of somebody that

might not like George.

I can't think of one person who doesn't like George Hardy.

I mean if his ex-wife likes him as much as I like him,

then, you know, I think it'd be pretty hard for anybody to

not like George.

-He has always been one of the most fun people that I know.

I don't think I've ever seen George when he wasn't smiling.

Hey, Barbara.

Hey, George.

How are you?

Good, how about you?

I'm fine.

Good to see you too.

He loves people, and he likes the reaction that

he gets from people.

How you been?

You always answer the phone so great here.

I just...

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

-Really, honestly, every time I call down here.

Hey, how you doing?

-He is one of the... the kindest and finest people that

I have ever seen in my life, even though he's my son.

He's just... he's just fun to be around.

What did you think of your son's

performance in "troll 2?"

Oh, my gosh.

Let's say, he's...

He's not very grand.

So where's that damn mirror?

-Well, I left in about the middle of the movie.

I just couldn't take it anymore.

And I thought, what is he doing?

-It's got to be your imagination or a

hallucination.

Are you still smoking dope, Holly?

I've known George for years.

And he came in the store one day, and I asked him.

I said, you know, George, were you ever in a movie?

And he said, uh, yes.

Why?

And I said, well, I think I saw it.

I said, I saw this movie "troll 2." And it was just

crazy because nobody in the community even knew that

George was in a film.

-We don't speak too much about it, but he did make his movie

about 17 years ago.

We didn't know whether to tell people about it or kind of

keep it quiet.

-I walked up to the counter, and I said to the fella...

I said, I'm here to pick up a movie that you've got on hold

called "troll 2." And this guy that's standing next to me at

the counter... he was getting another movie too.

And he looked at me, and he said, oh, my gosh.

He said, that's the worst movie I've ever seen.

-Wait till you get home and watch the movie.

And he was right.

It was so bad.

And he was so...

His accent and his acting...

It was just so...

Just the strangest thing to watch.

It was so not him.

You know?

Knowing the real person in seeing him doing...

Using the word acting loosely.

It was just hilarious.

Do you see this writing?

Do you know what it means?

Hospitality.

And you can't piss on hospitality.

I won't allow it!

-What are you going to do to me, daddy?

-Tightening my belt by one loop so I

don't feel hunger pains.

Ok, pause it.

Rewind.

He's right there.

That's me, Michael Paul stephenson.

And 18 years ago, I got the lead role in my first movie.

Nilbog.

It's goblin spelled backwards!

At that time, the movie was titled

"goblin." it was directed by Italian filmmaker Claudio

fragasso and written by his wife, rosella drudi.

We filmed the movie over the course of three weeks in

small-town Utah in the summer of 1989.

It was hard work.

It was... it was tough work.

But it was a small price to pay for stardom.

See, as a child actor, this was the big break that I was

waiting for.

I thought that I was going to be famous.

I couldn't wait to see my movie on the big screen.

But my movie never made it to the big screen.

In fact, the first time that I saw my movie was one year

later on Christmas morning.

I unwrapped my last present to reveal a vhs copy of my movie.

I was so excited to see this for the first

time with my family.

I grabbed the tape, and I stuck it in the VCR.

And then I pressed play.

90 minutes later, my childhood

dreams went up in flames.