Seinfeld

The human fascination with water is amazing.

We're constantly going to beaches, pools,

lakes, rivers.

We're swimming. We're snorkeling.

We're scuba-diving. We bathe in it.

Our bodies are mostly water.

Everyone's carrying around these bottles of water.

We can't get enough water, unless it rains.

Then we're like, "Oh, look, I'm soaked.

I am literally drenched."

For some reason, we have a huge problem with small, flying water.

It'll just stop us right in our tracks.

"Oh! I felt a drop.

"We're gonna get caught in it!

Everyone cover your water bottles! Run!"

All right, get off at the next exit.

Kramer, I've driven to East Hampton many times.

I know the exit.

I hear it's a great house. Pool, sun deck...

Hoo-hoo. Yeah. I'll be there.

You sure we're making the right move?

We gotta see the new baby anyway.

At least it's in the Hamptons.

Didn't they just have a baby?

That was two years ago, remember?

Jerry, you gotta see the baby.

Ya gotta see the baby!

Are they just having babies

to get people to visit them?

Hey, Jerry, you ever wear silk underwear?

No.

Put that on the top of your list.

Not for me. A little too delightful.

Well, George and Jane should be almost there by now.

Isn't it weird that George and Jane haven't had sex,

but they're spending a weekend together?

George is pretty pleased.

It's like she signed a letter of intent.

When's Rachel coming?

3:00 train.

Her father is so religious.

I'm amazed he's letting you see her again

after that Schindler's List make-out session.

I brought him some kishke.

What's that?

It's a stuffed meat thing.

Israeli soldiers carry it

in case they're captured behind enemy lines.

They eat it, and it kills them.

I never tasted a cough medicine I didn't love.

Me too. I love cough medicine.

You see? We were made for each other.

It's amazing. If I reach out and touch her breast now,

she'd throw me out of the car.

But at this time tomorrow,

I could touch it all I want.

What's your favorite?

Pertussin.

Ever try it with club soda?

No.

Oh, very refreshing.

Sex is like joining a private club.

I'll be the same me tomorrow,

but suddenly the "no trespassing" sign will be gone.

Are we almost there?

Yeah, about 10, 15 minutes.

But I have to stop at a vegetable stand.

What for?

My mother loves Hampton tomatoes.

She's nuts for Hampton tomatoes.

Can you buy them later?

I really wanna get some...sun.

Hey, Jerry.

Rub some lotion on my back.

Who are you, Mrs. Robinson?

Come on, and I'll rub some on you.

No, that's not sweetening the deal.

Oh, come on!

No.

When I was a kid,

I once found $1.50 in change

at the bottom of a pool.

You must have been excited.

Yeah.

Hey, I gotta go get those tomatoes. Wanna go for a ride?

I don't think so.

Okay. I'll, uh... I'll see you later.

Anybody want some tomatoes?

-No, no. -No, thanks.

I'm gonna take a dip.

Go ahead.

And then there's Maude.

Look at my face. Look at it.

Do you see any lines?

No lines.

You know why? One word: shade.

When will we see this baby?

When is this momentous event?

He's taking a nap or something.

I wanna see if there are any girls on the beach.

Elaine, wanna come?

No, thanks. I got plenty of girlfriends.

Well, this is interesting.

What?

Jane's topless.

Yo-Yo Ma.

Boutros Boutros-Golly.

Nice rack.

Come on, you guys. You can see the baby now.

Oh, uh, in a minute, Carol.

We'll be right up.

This is weird, wild stuff.

George hasn't even seen her yet.

Why do you think we're getting the sneak preview?

Maybe she's trying to create a buzz.

What?

You know, get some good word of mouth going.

Oh, here she comes.

Uh, ooh.

I'm thirsty. Anyone want a drink?

No, thanks.

Uh, I'm good.

Uh, you can...

All right. Show's over. I'm going to the beach.

Adam, Jerry and Elaine are here.

Where is the cute little snuggly baby?

Isn't he gorgeous?

Oh, he's-- Eww...

Is he gorgeous?

Uh, gorgeous, yes.

So very gorgeous.

Michael! Shut the door. You're letting bugs in!

(THE BEACH BOYS' "WOULDN'T IT BE NICE" PLAYING)

Is it me, or was that the ugliest baby

you have ever seen?

Oh... I couldn't look.

It was like a Pekinese.

Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool.

The thing is, they'll never know.

No one's ever gonna tell them.

Oh, you have to lie.

Oh, it's a must-lie situation.

Yes. It's a must-lie situation.

I don't think we should tell George we saw Jane topless.

No. I don't think so.

Remind me to tell Kramer too.

Oh.

Oh! Lobster.

This ointment should do it.

How are you feeling, Adam?

Elaine!

This is our pediatrician, Ben Pfeffer.

Hi.

Look at him, Elaine.

How gorgeous is he, I ask you?

How gorgeous?

Pretty gorgeous.

Elaine, do you have kids?

Me? Oh, no, but I'd love to have a baby.

I mean, I can't wait to have a baby.

I'm just dying to have a baby.

A beautiful woman like you should.

You're quite breathtaking.

Breathtaking?

I'm breathtaking?

And he's very particular.

Ben, you're staying over tonight, right?

Uh...sure.

Uh--

I, uh...

I'm gonna go pick up Rachel at the station.

-Yeah. See ya. -Okay.

Oh, just look at him.

Yeah, he really is breathtaking.

The train was so crowded, I had a seat facing the wrong way.

I like that. It's like going back in time.

Hey, Rachel.

Hi. I'm gonna go in and get changed.

Okay.

What kind of greeting was that?

She's got greeting problems.

Yeah.

Boy, I love these Hampton tomatoes.

You can eat them like apples.

The tomato never really took off as a hand fruit.

Well, the tomato's an anomaly,

so successful with the ketchup and the sauce,

but you can't find a good one.

Hey, hey, hey! Look at what I got!

Whoa!

Yeah!

Wow!

The K-Man!

You got lobster for everybody?

Yeah, and they're fresh!

Right out of the ocean!

This is fantastic! Man, what a weekend!

Swimming, lobster for dinner.

I know. It's great.

I saw Jane topless.