The Neighborhood

Son. Why have you been eating my Fruity Puffs?

What Fruity Puffs?

Mom doesn't let you have those sugar cereals anymore.

"Let me have"?

Nobody lets me have anything.

I'm not scared of your mama.

Okay. Well, I didn't see any Fruity Puffs

in that cabinet. I know, 'cause I hid 'em here.

Okay, I see. S-So Mom's going out of town for the weekend,

you just gonna do whatever you want to, huh?

You know, son, you don't understand

what it's like to be the man of the house.

You're always worried

about other people's needs.

It's never really about you.

But with your mother going to Vegas overnight,

the rest of this weekend is about me and only me.

Well, excuse me, Pop,

but I will still be here. Yeah.

But I don't care about your needs.

Calvin! Mm.

Yeah, babe.

Hey, baby. Can you do me a favor

and take these to the car? Damn, Tina.

You're only going away for one night.

Why do you need three bags?

Well, this one is for my clothes,

this one is for hair and makeup,

and this one is empty.

Mama's going shopping.

And what else do you and Gemma have planned for Vegas?

Baby, how about you don't ask me about my plans,

and I won't ask you about that box of Fruity Puffs

that you got hiding behind my cookbooks.

Have a great trip. Okay.

I'm so excited!

Tina and I are gonna have so much fun.

I know, your first girls' trip.

Man, I wish I could go.

Okay, but then it wouldn't be

much of a girls' trip, would it, sweetie?

I know, but I really feel like I could add to the experience.

Like you two are Thelma and Louise

and I'm Brad Pitt.

Hey, guys. Hey.

So, what do you say, Gemma?

You ready to have some fun?

You know it, girl! Yeah!

What do you say, Calvin?

You ready to have some fun, too?

I got to load the bags, Dave.

This one feels empty.

Maybe I should climb in and stow away.

Hey, that's a good idea. 'Cause you know what they say:

What goes to Vegas stays in Vegas.

Aw, that takes me back to my player days right there.

Tina lucky she locked me down.

It's good to be the king.

I thought all kings wore robes.

Well, they do.

But I needed to let the royal jewels breathe.

Hey, man.

So, this is how you're fulfilling your needs

for the weekend, huh?

Sitting in your underwear, listening to oldies,

and giving yourself diabetes?

It's pretty cool, right?

You know what would be pretty cool, Pop,

is if you ordered the pay-per-view fight for tonight.

Posley versus Camargo. Supposed to be a good one.

But then I would be fulfilling your needs as well as mine.

Aw, what the hell.

I'm a benevolent king.

Okay, well, I'll let Marty know.

Good. We'll make it a guys' night.

All right. Well, I'll invite Dave.

Now, hold on a second, now.

What? How come?

'Cause Dave is not the kind of guy

you invite over for guys' night.

I mean, now,

we were having a men's brunch with a wine tasting?

All right, look, Pop, I know

Dave is not your typical kind of dude,

but if you ask me, Dave is a man.

I know.

That's why I don't ask you.

Look, come on, Pop.

He is a good husband and father who takes care of his family.

And he is not embarrassed to be himself.

There is no shame in Dave's game.

I know.

Which is weird, because there really should be.

But that's what I'm saying, man. Dave knows who he is,

and he owns it no matter what anyone thinks.

Isn't that what makes a man real to you?

Fine. Go ahead. Invite him.

Probably doesn't even like boxing.

"Calvin, it's so barbaric.

"Why can't they just settle their differences

with a rousing game of Parcheesi?"

Dave says, "Hell yes," and he is bringing snacks.

Okay. Yeah.

Well, maybe it won't be so bad.

He wants to know what you like on your veggie plate.

Okay, we have a gondola ride at the Venetian at 6:00,

the dancing fountains at the Bellagio at 7:30, and...

Drumroll, please...

Donny and Marie tickets at 9:00!

Vegas, baby!

Gemma, the only girl who's trippin' is you.

Yeah, we only came here

because you said that you needed to blow off some steam.

We're not doing any of that corny stuff.

But I made a whole itinerary. Look.

It's got little boxes we can check off.

Aw. Well, that's nice.

But my itinerary says that it's time

to throw out your itinerary.

What?

Check.

I just thought the more structure we had,

the more we could pack into our night.

When I rage, I try to rage efficiently.

Gemma, a girls' night in Vegas is like floating down a river.

You know? You got to go with the flow

and see where it takes you.

And why is your plan better than mine?

Because it's Vegas, girl.

Always bet on black.

Hey. Check it out, ladies.

The hottest show in town.

See your wildest fantasies onstage tonight.

Magic Mike Live?

What? Let me see that.

It's just a bunch of male strippers.

Exactly. You see?

We go with the flow, and plans will fall right in our laps.

And tonight some men will, too.

Thanks again for inviting me. Grover's at a sleepover.

Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to come.

How convenient.

You gonna get in on some of this jicama, Calvin?

It's in season.

Well, fortunately,

so is pizza.

Man, this is great. Nothing like a bunch of guys

getting together to watch a big fight.

Whoa.

I almost just double dipped.

So...

So, uh, Dave, who do you think's gonna win the fight?

Well, I don't know much about these two fighters.

But Camargo is undefeated against southpaws,

and nobody cuts the ring off better than he does.

And then, Posley

does have a three-inch reach advantage

and a pretty solid chin.

But I'm rooting for Posley 'cause I like his purple shorts.

Hey, guys. Big fight night.

Oh, I see the jicama's in season.

Yeah.

Whoa. Wh-What's wrong with the TV?

Why's it all pixelated like that?

I don't know. I paid for the fight.

Well, maybe something's blocking the satellite dish.

Well, Marty, do something. You work on satellites.

Yeah, in space.

Then it should be easier down here.

Okay.

Let's just go outside and take a look.

I told you we shouldn't have invited Dave.

Oh, he had nothing to do with this.

I didn't say he did.

Oh, there's the problem.

The branch from Dave's tree is blocking the signal.

I knew this was Dave's fault.

How is this my fault?

Because you don't trim your trees enough.

Old raggedy-ass branches just waving around

like one of those things in front of a used car lot.

You know, it's a California oak.

I can't trim it. They're protected by law.

Oh. That must be why

the cop cars cruise by here three times a day.

Yes, hi. It's Dave Johnson.

Local homeowner.

Yeah, we have a bit of a tree conun...

Marty, get the ladder.

Whoa, whoa, Pop, Pop, you are not climbing

on some old, rickety roof with a chain saw.

I'll be fine.

How do you know that?

'Cause you're gonna do it.

No, I'm not. You heard Dave. Trimming an oak is illegal.

I done stayed out of jail this long.

I'm not going in for assaulting a tree.

Hmm. Okay. Then Marty will do it.

Oh, Dad, uh...

you know I would do anything to prove to you that I am a man,