Field of Screams

Shift's over.

Now, where could that silly scarecrow be?

Oh, what in the world was that?

Oh, it's just a silly old scarecrow.

Not buying it, eh?

I never was much of an actor.

But it's gonna be a cold day in hell

before you pull one over on old Aleister.

Now, get inside.

More corn went in the silo today.

There's even corn syrup in this soup.

We're living off the government's teat.

They're paying for this soup.

Bastards.

You can't even taste the corn. Mm!

The Connelly boys came by, wanted to buy the farm again.

Upped their offer $10,000.

Yeah, you're right.

I could never sell the farm.

And the Connellys are never gonna own this land.

Never.

Hey, did I ever tell you about the time

my truck broke down out on Highway 61?

Been needin' a good rain.

Had to happen sometime.

Billy, I got somethin' I gotta tell you.

Oh.

Hey.

Wait, what?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'll be there soon.

No, no, I'll be okay.

Love you, too.

I felt like he would have wanted to be cremated.

I--

I'm sorry.

It was a really nice wake, Mom.

Thanks.

I hope he would've liked it.

Listen, um, I didn't want to mention this

earlier in front of everyone,

but there was a reading of the will earlier today.

And...

he left you the farm.

What?

All of it?

Yeah.

What am I supposed to do with a farm?

I don't know.

Uh...

Some people around here actually thought

that I was gonna get it, and approached me with an offer.

I don't know too much about this sort of thing,

but... it seemed pretty generous.

There's no rush.

Wow.

It smells weird in here.

Does it smell weird to you?

It smells like it always has.

Okay. All right.

Oh, no, we can put the bags away later.

-Oh, all right. -I wanna show you around.

-Come on. -Cool.

Ooh, okay, so my grandma used to make pancakes

every time I would come over.

And I remember, I'd run down the stairs,

sit in that seat,

and I would just bounce up and down

while Grandpa smoked his morning cigar.

Oh.

He had one every morning?

Yeah.

Uh, the walls must be ruined.

Yeah.

I guess.

You can frame it as a rustic charm or something.

Yeah.

I can't believe he kept this up so long.

Ew.

Well, it looks like we've got our work cut out for us.

Yeah, I don't think he was planning on dying, Justin.

I'm sure if he'd made it to the weekend,

the place would've looked a lot nicer for you.

No, I know, I know.

Do you?

Because I think I had to drag you to the funeral,

and I know I had to drag you out here.

All right, and look, I get you never met my grandpa.

But you could show a little empathy.

You know why I never met your grandpa.

Can you tell me with 100% certainty

that your grandpa would have approved of me?

That he would've approved of us?

I don't know.

I hope so.

I hope so, too.

And look, I'm sorry.

Like, I know this isn't about me.

This is just the kind of place that...

people who don't approve of me live.

You know?

It's the kind of place I left.

Look, I'll stop being such a bitch, okay?

You're not-- You're not being a bitch.

Not even a little bit?

Well...

obviously a little.

I mean, it's kinda cute.

In, like, an old, inconvenient way.

Hmm. I know what you mean.

It's the kind of place I could see myself settling down.

Wait, you wanna live here?

I mean, no, not here.

Just, somewhere like it.

I don't know.

I mean, maybe here.

Maybe I could work something out with the Connellys.

I mean, but how would you get groceries?

Like, where would you go to... talk to people?

Well, I think they-- you can get that delivered.

Or I could just drive out to the city.

It's not that bad.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess. Sure.

I guess I better get started.

What you got there?

Dowsing rods.

My grandpa taught me how to use them as a kid.

-What's a dowsing rod? -It's this.

No, you use them to find water, and minerals,

and sometimes graves.

-Graves? -Uh-huh.

I mean, it's-- it's mostly for water.

Huh.

-You wanna try? -Cool.

-Sure. -Cool.

All right, so, hold them like this.

-Oh. -All right.

And then when they're pointed in the direction of water,

the rods are supposed to-- moves like that,

cross a little bit.

-Okay. -All right. Right. Ready?

All right.

So, just kinda like this?

-Yeah. That's perfect. -And turn?

-Okay. -Go.

Whoa.

That's pointed right at the bathroom.

-No way. -Uh-huh.

Ha, I'm telling you, there might do something to it.

Hmm.

Yeah.

What's this mean?

No idea.

Weird.

Okay, you ready for some dinner?

Yes, God, I'm starving.

Did you leave the door open?

No.

-Did you? -Mm-mm.

Hello?

Hello?

So, I looked it up.

Bill Nye says that the rods move

due to small, unconscious movements that we make.

He says that anything else is just a...

pseudoscience.

I used to love Bill Nye.

You know, in middle school.

He taught me so much about gravity, and magnets,

and... fashion.

Oh, yeah.

He was great.

So, what was your favorite Bill Nye episode growing up?

I don't know.

Do you remember the one where he shits all over

my dead grandpa?

No, I can't say I remember that one.

It's fine. I don't even know why I brought it up.

Getting a lot of work done over here?

Sorry.

["Echoes of the Ozarks" by Catherine Barron Para

& David Para playing]

Oh, no, thanks.

You're just-- You're just such a dork.

Wow.

Okay. All right.

Whoa.

My goodness.

I'll-- I'll try to follow you, I guess.

-You better. -Okay.

Listen, I'm-- I'm sorry about last night.

I think your grandfather's old folk magic is cute.

He, uh, you know, he cursed people, you know?

-Oh, really? -Uh-huh.

Yeah, so you better watch out.

I might have to put a curse on you.

We live in a cramped one-bedroom apartment,

in an urban hell, like...

what curse could your corn-eating grandfather