Bad Turn Worse

You know, I should've got biscuits and gravy.

I mean, technically it's just biscuit and gravy.

Cause it's just one biscuit cut in half, see?

No, even if it is just one biscuit,

it's still biscuits and gravy.

You know, how like one pair of pants still pants.

I mean, you might want to take it with the Whataburger folks,

because they're selling it as biscuit and gravy, see?

Yeah, that, that- that doesn't it right.

I mean, um, what would you call bacon

and eggs if you only got one egg?

- I would call it bacon and egg. - No, you would not.

You would call it bacon and eggs.

Anybody would.

Nobody would say, I'll have bacon and egg.

Well, they would if there was only one egg.

You know, goddamn, the hell you wouldn't.

Here.

You should read this. You'd like it.

I don't know, I still haven't

read the book you gave me last week,

or the one from the week before that.

I mean, you know, I don't read like you do.

Shit, I don't know anybody that reads like you.

Well, in college, everybody reads like me,

so you better get used to it.

Well, then I guess I got a few weeks still.

And I bet they don't even read like you

either, even in college.

You know, besides, my mom sees anymore books around the house,

she's going to have to really believe I'm leaving.

Just might kill her.

You know what, forget about those two.

Read this one, you'll like it.

It happens right here.

What, in a Whataburger?

No, jackass, in Texas.

Jim Johnson was a Texas boy.

Well, I mean, technically, he was born in Oklahoma,

but all this stuff happens right here in Texas.

You know what Jim Thompson said?

What did he say?

He said, there are 32 ways to tell a story,

but there's only ever one plot.

Yeah, what's that?

That things are not what they seem.

Well, I will sure as shit go along with that.

Things are most definitely not what they seem.

You know, not-not around here, anyhow.

How's that?

Well, there's, - there's you, for example.

I'm not what I seem?

No, you're definitely not.

Because you go and you put on your coveralls, and you

fix tractors all day.

But then you go home, and you read all these books,

and you know things.

Like how-how there's 32 ways to tell a story,

but there's only one plot.

I didn't say that. Jim Thomson said that.

Well, yeah, I know, but you-you know, you know it.

You know all kinds of other stuff, too.

What's my girl know?

Hey. Hey, baby, how're you?

Oh, shit, biscuits and gravy.

- I love this stuff. - Oh, you know, it's actually just

called biscuit and gravy, right?

What?

Hey, Sue was just telling me about this guy,

wrote this book here.

He said there was 32 ways to tell a story.

That right?

I did not know that.

Of course, I ain't the one heading

off to college like you two.

BJ, you should read this. I think you'd like it.

Yeah, happens right here, in Texas.

Then what I need to read it for?

Shit, I already know every goddamn thing

that happens in Texas.

That's true.

All right, I just thought you'd like it, is all.

I want to read it.

OK.

You know, course we could sit here and talk about books.

Or, go over to Corpus, have the best

goddamn going away party we ever had.

I don't know, BJ.

Now, I haven't got the money for that.

And besides, me and you got to be at Giff's tomorrow morning.

No, I don't have any money to be going out either.

Well, now, I just might be able to do

a little something about that.

Jesus Christ, where did you get that?

I've been saving, man.

Ever since I found out that my best girl and my best bud

were leaving me.

- Really? - Yeah, really.

Come one, let's get the hell out of here.

Let's have some fun for once, for God's sakes.

All right.

You have no idea what I had to do to get this.

Oh, it's good.

Yeah. Good whiskey.

Man, we need to get you laid.

Oh, no, that's, - that's OK.

Just wait right there.

No, seriously, it's OK.

Hey, BJ-

- Hi. - Hi.

How are you guys doing?

Just fine, how are you?

Oh, I'm-I'm just hanging out, you know.

Anyways, I just want you to know,

- do you see my friend Bobby over there? - Yes, I do.

- Hi, how are you doing? - Hi.

Yeah, he's kind of cute, isn't he?

- He's cute. - Yeah, yeah he is.

I'll, - You know, I'll give you $1,000 if you blow him.

OK, fuck off.

Here's 1500, and I get to watch.

Oh, please, give me a break.

OK, but he has to wear a rubber.

Not unless he gets to take it off right before he shoots.

I'm-

Nope, nope, hey, hey BJ, I'm really sorry for my friend.

He's-He's had a lot to drink.

We should get him out of here.

You want to get out of here?

God damn, you're going to get your dick sucked.

I don't want to get my dick sucked.

Yes, you do.

Every goddamn man wants to get his dick sucked.

OK, now listen, girls.

Listen, listen, it's all right.

Now, $2,000, I think that's what's right in here.

Somewhere around there, 2,000, maybe a little bit more,

maybe a little bit less.

Not only will you swallow, but you'll

gargle for a half a minute-

- OK, is this a joke? - BJ, BJ, BJ, that's enough.

Leave them alone, leave them alone, all right.

You've been hanging with Giff way too much.

Let's just get out of here, come on.

Well, man, then who else do I have to hang out with?

All my friends are up and leaving me.

Ladies.

BJ.

You just going to leave all this money?

Yup.

Sorry about my friend, he's, like I said,

he's-he's had a awful lot to drink.

It's OK.

Um, did you want to join us?

You guys want anything?

I think we're probably good.

You don't actually have to give me a blow job or anything.

That's OK.

I wasn't going to, so it's all good.

Oh, great, sweet then.

It's Bobby, right?

Bobby, yeah.

Nice to meet you, Bobby.

How much did you spend today?

Hey, fuck money.

It's all about the memories, right?

Right?

these are a couple weeks- that's all we'll have, right?

What's with you, man?

What do you mean?

How come you didn't want to get your dick wet earlier?

BJ.

No reason. Just, tired.

That's all. And I'm tired, too.

Why don't we hit the bed?

I'll tell you what, Bobby, I'm not buying it,

I'm not buying it for one second.

I think there's something else at play here.

Like what?

Like somebody else.

Like somebody keeping that dick of yours on a tight leash.

Come on.

Well, it's definitely somebody, man.

And whoever he is, I mean, he must

be really, really special, right?

Is that it?

Man, you saving yourself for a nice little college boy?

All right, why don't we get you dried off and into bed?

Yeah, let's do that.

OK.

OK, let's go.

Good night, Bobby.

Yeah, good night. See you tomorrow.

Good night, Bob.

How much did you spend today?

Do you know what my daddy's last words were?

Bang.

More of a sound than a word.

And technically, he didn't say it,

but he did make it, with his gun.