Soft Shell Man (Un crabe dans la tête)

SOFT SHELL MAN

Kierkegaard? You like him?

Alex Beauchesne. There's a ticket for me for Honduras via New York.

A seat in first...

-First class? -Yes.

You arrive in Montreal at 14h30.

New York!

How much for New York?

If I stay, will you dine with me?

$ 1,350 US.

Then I'm going to Montreal.

If I miss my plane, we tour Paris?

Hey, big guy!

Sam, it's Alex, I'm coming through Montreal.

Flight 266, arrival 14h30.

If you're not there, I'll grab a cab.

Don't tell anyone I'm coming. No one.

I trust you.

This is Sam, leave a message.

Hey, big guy!

Sam, I'm at your place.

It's changed quite a bit.

It's cuter, cleaner, and it smells good too.

Is she a blond?

Brunette? Red head?

This is more like you.

I'm staying here tonight.

My place is too...

I leave tomorrow.

Let's get together.

Call me.

He can't wait to see you.

How are you? You OK?

-Why am I here? -To see your favourite agent.

Your last fax said New York.

-You got the cover page... -The deal was anywhere...

-but here. -How was First Class?

Pierre, what am I doing here?

Terrible! Your accident...

That morbid adventure of yours...

-Forget about that. -I understand.

I'm here for you.

You don't look death in the face everyday.

What am I doing here?

Ah... your own gallery!

Congratulations!

It was an old project.

In one week,

we hang...

your photographs.

The photographs?

Indian Ocean?

Wait...

You made me come through Montreal to tell me that?

I ought to scold you.

No really.

You even deserve a good whipping.

The show opens in a week.

I have a super plan.

It'll be huge.

You'll be a star, my dear.

Easy on the star bit!

What about Honduras?

Not until mid-September.

You can stay here... with me.

Hold on.

Tomorrow, I leave for Central America.

I take pictures, I send you the negs...

You send me money, and another contract.

Same as usual.

No. Wait... Alex?

Wait! Dammit, Alex!

-What's with you? -You don't get it?

Maybe you don't know it yet.

Maybe you do know it.

You're gay.

Deny it... Deny it all you want.

It's not what you think.

I don't mean to insult you, but...

you don't look very dangerous.

It's my friends' house.

Good, it's mine too.

The frogman.

That's me.

Marie, I'm Sara's friend.

-Sara? -Samuel's girlfriend.

She told me to take the key.

I have it.

I do a culture beat on TV, tomorrow it's on new videos.

The problem is, my VCR crapped out on me.

and I have to screen three films tonight.

You're a film critic?

Or theatre,

live music, books.

Are you bitchy?

Bitchy? Well...

When I dislike it, I hate it, but when I like it... I love it.

I'm exaggerating.

Don't worry, I won't stay. I just want the VCR.

No. It's OK. It's no bother.

So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... the verdict?

What do you think?

Oh... It wasn't bad... not bad.

Not a masterpiece, but...

kind of pleasant.

No, maybe not pleasant... but not total crap.

For one thing, it's not total crap.

What? What did you write?

A love triangle. Nice empty people...

in nice empty settings, with a nice empty script.

Trying to please everybody.

In short, crap.

I may be harsh, but it's crap.

No. Not at all. It's cheap.

The tone is tacky.

The end's tacky, predictable,

we saw it coming 100 miles away.

I'm glad you think like me.

I don't.

I think it's even crappier than you think.

Not only is it trivial,

it's really...

unimportant.

-I'm glad we get along so well. -Me too.

Pleasant... pleasant...

What did I say that for? In fact...

it's because I thought you liked it.

And...

And what?

Pizza?

Talking with you is really fun.

I don't have too much talk in me, but I sure can order.

I know all the phone numbers.

385-5555 is St-Hubert.

383-6000 is Donini Pizza.

It's true!

273-7331 is Diamond Taxi.

985-7665 is...

So you travel a lot.

Yes. Yes... I do travel a lot.

2 days ago... yesterday...

I was in New Delhi, India...

this morning in Paris.

And tomorrow?

Tomorrow, I leave for...

Not.

Where?

I leave for not. That's not right.

I mean, I'm not leaving.

I'll stay here for a while.

Because...

I'm free... I'm free as a bird.

You...

Are you...

-Am I what? -Are you... are you free?

You mean, will you score tonight?

You're pretty direct.

OK... frank,

free...

confident...

Modern... that's right, fashionable...

sexually liberated.

And what about you, Don Juan?

No, no. Me, no!

Look, yes, but... dammit all, I've got to make myself clear.

It's just that, we are the way we are,

according to who we're with.

No?

Let's take the TV outside...

it might be nice...

Change of subject?

Yes.

Wait, I can't get a grip on it.

It's complicated.

I want to see your passport picture.

Funny fantasy.

-No, don't. -Handsome.

What's this?

A plane ticket?

Looks like a plane ticket.

The 14th.

When's the 14th?

That's tomorrow.

When I asked you earlier if...

you were leaving tomorrow, you said that...

I know...

What?

What is it?

You lied to me.

I'm, I'm not leaving tomorrow.

I'm supposed to, but I'm not. I'm staying.

Why don't I believe you.

No, I'm staying.

I'm staying.

Marie, I love you.

Not I love you as in "l love you". I love your body.

I'm staying. l...

What have I done?

Pierre, it's Alex.

Listen, about the exhibition,