Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist

- So you're clear on the plan, Mom?

- Yes. Stay aloof, reveal nothing,

keep small talk to a minimum.

- Good, and what about eye contact?

- You two are being very dramatic.

I have dealt with salespeople before in my life.

- Hm, I guess we'll just forget about the timeshare in Canada.

- Or the 20-inch rims and booming sound system

you said "came with" the Volvo. - Or adding avocado

every time the waiter offers. - Hey!

I'm starting to really regret asking you guys to come with me.

- You're nothing but dollar signs to these vultures.

They want to prey on your desperation

and your vulnerability. - It's true.

I've got this. Come on.

- I'd like to start by just telling you all

how truly and genuinely sorry I am for your loss.

- Thanks, but we haven't lost him yet.

- Oh. Well, then, let me say how lucky he is

to have such a loving and caring family that has made

the tough-but-wise decision to plan ahead.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. We don't have all day,

so let's just bottom-line it.

What are we talking about here, Dale?

- Uh, well, Maggie, picking an eternal resting spot

is one of the most difficult things you're ever gonna do.

And here at Birdsong Memorial, our focus

is simplifying this very difficult time

by anticipating any and all of your needs.

We handle the service, the casket, the plot,

the headstone, the flowers, the music, the programs,

the car service and so on.

What is "and so on"?

Are you gonna write our eulogies for us, too?

- Well, actually, we can. If you take a look

at the Gold Deluxe Package, we have poets on hand.

There's some that are very good at haiku,

some dirty limericks, which certain families enjoy.

We've got painters, if you like a nice painting.

We could also do a nice sculpture of your loved one

in any repose you want. Make him standing,

make him sitting, make him laying down.

- Sorry, what is the difference between the Gold Package

and the Gold Deluxe Package?

- I'm sorry, Maggie. You know what?

I'm going a little too fast. I apologize.

Let's start with something simpler, okay?

Follow me.

As you can see, we have a wide selection

of caskets to choose from.

Everything from a simple pine box,

all the way up to museum-grade Carrara marble.

Two tons of eternal bliss.

Mom, you all right?

So, Maggie, is there

a particular model that's speaking to you?

- David? We need to leave. Now.

Mom, I am right there with you.

Ooh, feel free to swear if you want.

I'm fine, honey.

- Morning. - Afternoon, actually.

Oh, wow, you're right.

You wouldn't believe the day I've had so far.

Which you clearly don't want to hear anything about.

So Leif, how was your morning? Any progress on the

- On the bake-off between the 4th floor and the 6th floor?

I think you could say...

Yes. - Ohh. Got it.

You can catch me up to speed when we get off.

Shall we?

- All right, uh, this is a terrible, terrible way

for you to find out, but Leif's actually on my team now.

What?

You can't steal our best programmer

in the middle of a bake-off.

- I didn't steal him. Leif came to me.

- It's true, both that I came to him,

and that I am the best programmer.

- Are you really that mad at me?

That you would be willing to work with

your least favorite human being at Sprq Point?

- Okay, first of all, Tobin's my least favorite,

and second, I just want my floor to win.

That's all.

Sure.

Did you actually approve Leif joining Max on Floor 6?

- Oh, that's a lot of heat for somebody coming in at 12:43 p.m.

Do these things work? I have taken

way more than 65 steps today.

- What about The Chirp? - What about it?

Leif put in for a transfer to go to the 6th floor,

and how could I say no after everything

that happened between us? I'm trying to be sensitive.

He shouldn't be someplace he doesn't want to be.

- Okay, well, now we really have to take down Ava

and all of them.

Although...

it's incredibly bad timing for me because of

everything that's going on with my dad, and I'm not sure

I can fully be on my A game right now. Sorry.

- Hey, don't worry about it. We'll figure out the 6th floor.

Take all the time you need.

Really?

- Zoey...you've been there for me.

I'm gonna be there for you.

Don't smile at me. I don't want to look at

your sad, appreciative eyes. Get outta here.

Youtake a mindful breath.

Can you believe this stuff?

Casket samples and interior swatches,

engraving fonts?

I had no idea there would be so many choices.

Where do I even begin?

Let's just take it one by one.

Do you want to start with the headstones?

No.

I don't know. I need your father for this.

He's the one that would know how to make all these decisions.

Well, do you want to ask him?

Hey, darling.

Do you need anything?

He's not doing well.

He's not eating anything.

He's sleeping so much of the time, and half the time

I don't think he's even following what we're saying.

Can I ask you something?

Why didn't you guys do this sooner?

Well, if you mean,

when we were younger, probably because we thought

we had all the time in the world.

And I never could have imagined that it would happen this fast.

No one did. And now I've gotta go back

to that stupid place and pick out burial plots.

I can't even pick out the linen for the coffin liner.

I mean, it's just a lot. It's a lot,Zoey.

- Oh, my...hmm. Would you like a straw?

Would that help you drink my wine even faster?

- I know you're joking, but that would be great.

When was the last time you went funeral shopping?

Paper, plastic, or metal?

You know what? I'll get all three.

My mom is so overwhelmed

with all the things that she has to decide

and I'm just as freaked out as she is.

- Which is why I've already planned my funeral

in elaborate detail. It is much easier

to make these decisions when you're thinking rationally.

- Okay. Hit me. What do you got?

- So, there's a dress code. Nothing teal, cerulean,

or anything with a high neckline.

There's gonna be a sit-down dinner

where dessert's gonna be served first.

And I have prerecorded five songs that I want played

because who else is gonna sing it better than me?

No.

Oh, and bring tissues,

because I absolutely demolish "Hallelujah."

- It almost sounds fun. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

It won't be. And if any of my "friends"

are caught not sobbing, they got-tah go.

Will you speak at my funeral?

'Cause I think you're officially now my best friend.

- Uh-oh. More Max drama? - Yeah.

I think he pretty much wants nothing to do with me.

Is somebody coming over?

Oh, I gave Eddie a key.

What? He's hot. I'm weak.

You do the math.

- Hi, Zoey. - Hi.

- Mo, guess who just got a fancy callback?

- The dog food commercial? - No, I didn't get that one.

But remember that Broadway review show? On the cruise ship?

It pays more than anything that I've ever done,

and I'll actually be able to pay my bills after traveling

and seeing the world for eight months!

- That's amazing. I hope you get it.

- Oh, eight months. I don't think that I heard that detail.

Well, it was such a long shot.

I must've kept it to myself. - Hmm.

- But now that there's a chance, maybe you can help me

get ready for it?

- Yeah. Sure. Happy to help.

- Great. I'm gonna go take a shower.

Mm-mm.

Yes!

A completed AR interface for The Chirp.

What?! I would like to say that I'm surprised

we hit the next benchmark, but honestly,

I've come to expect this level of excellence.

It's actually kind of boring now.

Get on over here, Jeanine. Jeanine! Ready?

And...milk it, drink it, toss it, floss it,

sorry, my bad, Carrie Ann Moss it.

Hey, don't be jealous, K Lo. Jeanine put in the work,

but you will get your handshake, too.

Just give it time.

It's weirding you out me being up here, huh?

I could tell.

- The only thing that's weird is that

you're actually an impressive manager.