Down with the King

Fuck, man.

Goddamn it!

We've had days where we've done six of these in one day.

Six? Six of them.

Just me and Matt before-- When he was around more.

Oh, man. Yeah.

Sometimes people ask me, you know, "Can I buy half a pig?"

"Can I get some of that?"

So I raise an extra one for a family member or a close friend.

Right. And, uh, we make a few bucks.

Now, the absolute most important thing ever...

is the bile sac.

The bile sac? Yeah.

If you were to break that...

It's such-- It's like yellow, ugly shit

that will taint the meat and make it not edible.

Right. So you--

It's really critical,

so I don't know if you feel like it,

but if you don't mind holding this.

Got you.

Yeah. Got it?

Yeah, I got it. We're good.

Sawzall! Goddamn!

I got it. I got my green shot right there.

J-rod, motherfucker! What's up, brother?

How you doing, baby? It's been a while.

Yeah, man. Good to see you.

What's up? Merc. How's it going?

It's good to meet you. Good to meet you!

You won't believe what he helped me with. It was fucked up.

It's right there. Try it.

They're serving up the other ones, the green ones.

No pork on my fork, but have at it.

Cheers.

To la finca.

What? La finca, the farm.

La finca. Salud!

La finca!

I didn't know that one.

So here's the deal.

I just went into the bathroom...

I swear to God, bro.

I swear this to God.

I go in the bathroom...

to go to the bathroom. I feel this thing on me--

Number one or number two? Number one.

I'm feeling this thing on me, and I'm getting really nervous,

and I'm, like, okay, it's pretty big.

For real.

Bob, look. Dude! It was--

I had a bloated tick on my something!

A what? A tick!

It was buried in me on my something.

What's this--? Time-out. What the fuck is a "some-tine"?

A something. His freaking "something."

- Your dick? - Yeah, man.

You had a tick on your dick? On my dick! I did.

How did you not know this?

I didn't know because they're pretty cool at what they do.

They're quiet. They don't go:

Did you, would you, could you?

I'm, like, oh, my God. Oh, yeah, Bob.

So far, so good. We good, man. Yeah.

Goddamn, Bob. Goddamn, man.

You high, man? Yeah. Yeah.

Hi, this is, uh, Mercury Maxwell.

I'm staying down at the house.

I just wanted to let you know

that we had a tree fall down today.

And, uh...

it's in the backyard, but give me a call when you can.

Shit!

What up? What up? It's your boy, Money Merc.

Live from the middle of the fucking woods...

working on this new album right quick, man.

Don't know where the fuck I'm at,

at an undisclosed location, but let me show y'all, though.

Hold on. Let me see... Unh...

Out here, baby.

Out here. What you know about that?

Nah, I ain't no country boy, but it's cool out here though.

I'm fucking with it. Like I said,

I'm just getting some new vibes for the album.

You know, new shit going down. Don't even trip.

"When can I come to Brazil?"

Shit, anytime.

Y'all got that ass in Brazil.

You already know, shit.

"I'm a 14-year-old rapper with sick beats and hard rhymes.

Shout me out, Lil' Stank."

Lil' Stank, that's your name, my nigga?

Do you shit on yourself? Do you wear diapers, mofo?

What the fuck is a Lil' Stank?

I'm fucking with it though.

Keep grinding though. Go check out Lil' Stank.

"You soft as hell. Just telling you how it is."

You bitch-ass nigga. Where the fuck you from, man?

Ohio or some shit like that?

Monkey-ass nigga, man.

Motherfuckers always coming in here, talking shit,

but it's crazy 'cause when y'all

see a motherfucker on the street,

it'd be all smiles.

But it's all good though.

"Lil' AK-47 son'd you in the new video."

Fuck AK-47, man!

How the fuck AK-47 son'd me and I'm the father of this shit?

Man can't "son" me.

Nigga's a bitch. Fuck blood.

It's all good, man.

I ain't got to respond to bitch-ass niggas like that.

Like I said, album on the way,

we flaming that fuck-boy on every track.

It's going down. I ain't worried about shit.

You already know how Blood Money Merc do

when I get in that mode, so...

It is what it is. Anyway, man.

Album on the way, man. I'm checking out. Peace.

Okay, fine. I got it. I'm going on break.

Hey, yo! Excuse me. Shit.

Can you help me? Sure.

I got a leak in the kitchen of this house I'm renting,

and, uh... I need a P-trap,

and I don't know if I need "1 1/4" or "1 1/2".

Okay, I think-- It's for the kitchen, so...

It could be either.

I think it just depends on the sink. Oh, shit.

I should have brought the pipe in here.

Um...

You can get both and return whatever you don't use.

Yeah, I guess I got to do that.

My husband's a logger. He uses these.

Yeah? You a logger?

Eh, not quite. Okay.

Hm.

You look familiar.

Were you in the movies? Nah.

TV? Nah. Actually...

I make music. I'm a rapper. Oh, really?

Yeah.

Can I ask you a question? What's that?

What's the difference between hip-hop and rap?

Uh, like rap is like the music, the sub-genre of it,

and hip-hop is like the whole culture, I guess.

So hip-hop is more like the young kids do

and rap is for seasoned?

Um, I mean, I don't really think it has an age bracket on it.

Think everybody kind of loves it, you know?

Okay.

Jill, could you switch with Sue?

Like, just change spots. All right.

That is significantly better.

Everyone smile. Okay, good.

Three, two, one. Cheese!

You didn't kill that pig. I did.

The nigga asked me to help him

slaughter the pig and I did it.

What the fuck? It wasn't shit.

I thought it was gonna be a big deal, but it wasn't.

It actually was easy.

All right. Well, whatever it takes.

As long as you're not isolating.

I want to make sure you're feeling right,

feeling ready to get back into writing.

'Cause you've been up there three weeks now.

I'll give you another month, but--

Ain't no motherfucking timeline, nigga.

How are you going to tell me you're gonna give me a month?

Y'all can't rush this shit, man.

Y'all keep always trying to turn a motherfucker creativity

on and off like a light switch. It don't work like that.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm tired-- I hear you.

I'm tired of this rap shit anyway.

What if I don't turn the album in?

No, no.

What if I don't even turn the album in?

They gonna sue me?

The label's a bitch, right?

But it's a bitch we both got to deal with on some level.

Let me handle them.

Don't be even thinking about that.

I just want your truth.

Whatever magic happens up in that place

with you being sort of away

from all that's been stressing you out,

that's what I want to hear about.

I just don't want you sinking into the mental space

you were in before I sent you up there,

you know what I mean?

The whole point of being up there

is to get out of that head. I know.

I'm surprised. You just...

You know, when you were little,

I had to drag you outdoors.

What am I going to do in the projects of Chicago,

go outside and get shot? Yeah.

This is a little different.

Yeah, it's definitely different.