XX/XY

- Vodka? - Sure.

Do you go to school here, or are you following me?

Me following you?

Yeah, I saw you today in the city.

You were staring at me.

Is that something you do... stare at girls in the subway?

I don't know. Did you follow me all the way here to ask me that?

I go to school here, but I haven't seen you.

I'm new. I'm the new professor...

in the agricultural studies department.

There is no agricultural studies department.

Well, you see, that's the thing. Poultry... it's a new thing.

I'm like a poultry specialist, so I'm here to supervise.

I know, you're thinking I'm too young, right?

You're thinking, "How could this guy...

"have such a vast understanding of the domesticated fowl?"

I could tell you, if you're interested.

- Are there any mixers? - Mixers?

Chicken!

You see...

What are you doing with my friend's chicken?

I don't know. What would you like me to do...

with your friend's chicken?

Coitus.

- I dare you. - You dare me?

What do you dare me to do?

Would you think I was being too forward...

if I said, "Let's go back to your room"?

What would you say if I said, "Let's go back to my room"?

But let's bring Thea.

I can't...

I'm sorry.

Why should you be sorry? I'm sorry.

No, I am. I'm sorry.

Well, you shouldn't be sorry. I had fun.

You did?

Yeah. Didn't you?

I guess.

What do you mean, you guess?

I mean, I guess I had fun, but I felt bad, I guess.

I mean, the whole thing was a little weird, I guess.

I'm sorry. It's my fault.

I thought it would be fun.

No, don't apologize. I thought it'd be fun, too.

Thea had fun.

But she's sorry, too.

So, we're all sorry, but we all had fun.

So, are you and Thea, like, hangin' out?

Yeah, but not like that.

I mean, we're friends.

So, what are you doing this weekend?

I don't know. Nothin'. What are you doing?

Shit!

So, what do you do?

I'm an animator.

I ink animation cels for this shitty ad firm.

But I also do some of my own stuff.

Where are you from?

Here and there.

My parents moved around a lot, so...

Can't we talk about something else?

Like how beautiful you are?

What are we doing?

What do you mean?

I mean, what are we doing?

What do you want out of this?

I don't know.

What do you want?

I like you.

I like sleeping with you.

I like waking up with you.

What about you?

I like you, too.

I don't want to play any games.

Me, neither.

But I don't want to, like...

put any rules on you or anything, either.

Oh, me, neither. I mean that.

I just think the most important thing...

is that we're honest with each other...

that we let each other know what's going on...

and not lie about anything.

Of course.

I'm not playing any games.

Are you sure it's Ok?

Yeah, it's cool.

It is a little weird, don't you think?

We...

I mean, we don't want it to change anything.

We don't want to make you feel weird.

Coles!

What...?

Come on!

Hello, everybody.

What's goin' on?

There's a party in a warehouse in Brooklyn.

It's like a rave or something.

I thought we were gonna have a nice, quiet night in tonight.

Oh, we won't stay for long. It'll be fun.

I was kind of looking forward...

to just hanging out and doing nothing.

But we can do that any night.

Yeah, but the thing is, is we don't.

Come here.

What for?

- Just a sec. - What?

It's right here in my hand.

Come on.

Come on, it'll be fun.

We'll leave immediately if it's not, I promise.

I can't just ditch those guys.

Where's Coles?

He went home.

That was a long cab ride.

I want this.

Can I have it? Can I have this one?

I'll be in a minute.

Sam.

Sam, I'm gonna go in, Ok?

Stop.

Turn out the light.

Melissa, honey. We're leaving.

Holy shit!

I left the number of the hotel on the kitchen table.

This is amazing!

Jesus.

Good-bye, Mr. And Mrs. Barnes!

This is amazing.

So, what do you guys want to do?

I don't know.

I don't know. What do you want to do?

I told Sid I'd call him.

Your lame-ass roommate? Please don't.

Fuck off. Sid rocks.

Hey, is Sid there?

Hey, what's up?

Nothin'. Just chillin' like Bob Dylan.

Come over.

No, you have no excuse, Ok?

Hey! Wait for me! I'm gonna get dressed.

Wait, don't open the door!

Hey, Sid! Come on in. Take a load off.

You guys are crazy, huh?

Ooh, thank you! Merry Christmas!

So, what are you on?

Come on in.

Sid, what do you want to be when you grow up, son?

Come on, Sid. You have to do better than that.

- Sid's gonna be a writer. - Oh, yeah?

He is. He's like the most amazing writer I know.

He writes all my papers for me.

I don't actually write all her... I mean, I help her.

- Oh, really? - Oh, really?

What about you, Coles? What do you want to do?

I'm never growing up.

- What about you, Thea? - What about me?

What are you gonna be when you grow up? Sid's manager?

Or maybe you should be a writer, too...

and then Sid could do all of your writing for you.

No, I don't actually write all her papers.

Ok, Sid! Damn it!

I'm gonna be...

a country and western singer.

I'm fine.

No. No hair in there. No hair.

- Is she gonna be all right? - Yeah, she'll be fine.

Don't worry about it. I'll take care of her.

What do you want to do, really?

I want to make movies.

What kind of movies?

Movies that make people think...

like, about my butt.

Sometimes it seems like you're scared...

to take anything seriously.

Like...

you're afraid that if you say what you really feel...

that people will criticize you.

So you only joke around all the time.

Do you think that's true?

Maybe.

Or maybe I just don't take anything seriously.

Thanks, Sid.

You're really good to me.

You'd do the same for me.

No, I wouldn't.

You're not a fucking mess like me.

You're not a fucking fuck-up like I am.

You're not a fuck-up, Thea.

You just need some sleep, Ok?

Sid?

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Do you love me?

Yeah, of course I love you.

No, I mean, do you think I'm a good person?

Oh, shit.

You're not dressed?

- What? - You're not out of bed?

I'm out of bed.

I fucked Sid last night.