Crowded

I need to get ready for work! Mike, I have a client!

She runs, knowing I will pursue.

Come on! Stop Pepé Le Pew-ing me.

Your protests fall on deaf ears, my little Georgia peach.

Oh, hey.

- Who's Pepé Le Pew? - He's an amorous, French cartoon skunk.

It was so funny. Every episode a female cat

would get a white stripe down its back

and Pepé would think it was a girl skunk,

and he'd chase her and hold her down and kiss her.

Sounds like a date rapist.

It wasn't really a date.

So he's just a regular rapist.

You girls and your whole generation are so politically correct.

In my day, a cartoon skunk would rape a cat, and you'd just laugh your head off.

In your day, cartoons were racist.

Those crows in "Dumbo," that Mexican mouse Speedy Gonzales.

What's wrong with Speedy Gonzales? He was faster than everybody else.

You know, they have an extra muscle in their legs.

- (both) Grandpa! - Bob!

I'm talking about the mice, not the Mexicans.

I'd hate to see what cartoons are gonna be like in ten years.

I'd hate to see what you'll be like in ten years.

Don't worry, I'll be good and dead.

Well, it's important to have goals, Dad.

Bob, these days people are living a lot longer.

Yeah, but at what quality of life?

As soon as I start declining I want someone to shoot me in the head.

Not me. I want to be kept alive by any means necessary.

As long as I can watch football and eat chocolate,

hook me up to every machine they've got.

Mike, when the time comes to shoot me in the head, I'd like you to do it.

Well, this is a different kind of father-son moment.

I knew you wouldn't do it.

I didn't say that.

Well, in ten years I want to be doing a lot of traveling.

Wouldn't you love to go to Paris?

And get raped by a skunk?

As fun as all this rape and death talk is,

I'd like to introduce a new topic.

I've applied for an internship

at the University of Washington's astrophysics lab.

- That's great, Shea! - Wow, good luck, sweetie.

But in the meantime, to contribute rent money,

I've taken an entry-level job at Already Ready Burger.

Hey, isn't that the place where the burgers are...

Already ready. Yes.

Their slogan is, "It was fresh when we made it."

Well, I've also found a way to make money for rent.

You know that show I do on the Internet?

I've figured out a way to monetize my online persona.

That means money-ize it.

I know. I thought it was a typo too.

Something weird is happening. I feel good,

and I have a satisfied sense of attachment to my daughters.

- Is it pride? - My God. I think it could be.

Okay, guys, it's me, Stella.

We've got a great show today,

- and don't worry, I will be reading - _

- more from my Taylor Swift-Katy Perry - _

- fan fiction. #Drama. - _

- (cash register bell dings) - _

- Oh, our new money-izing feature. - _

- That sound means that somebody just - _

- bought a private, one-on-one chat. - _

- Back in 15, guys. - _

Hi, T-Dawg25.

Thank you for your contribution.

So tell me what you're into.

_

Okay, what if you don't have arms or legs?

Chocolate. Football.

This is all I need.

But then I'll be married to an armless, legless woman. People will talk.

Ethan, you'd shoot me if I asked you to, right?

- I'd try, but you know, the yips. - Ah.

That's okay, son. Just knowing that you're willing is enough for me.

Oh, my God! What smells like rancid hamburger?

That would be me.

- Hello, all. - Hm.

I would like your strongest Chardonnay,

and keep them coming. Up to two.

Wait, does that badge say "Shift Supervisor"?

It does. I identified a few strategies to streamline burger assembly,

so they promoted me.

Oh! See, Ethan? Look at Shea.

I am looking at Shea.

Only because we all are.

While she's waiting for the job she wants,

she's taking the job she needs.

Alice, he's already got a job.

He's helping us in the bar until he gets back on the golf tour.

If you're interested, as shift supervisor,

I can offer you a position on our french fry team.

Wow, going from a professional golfer to a french fry cook.

That's a pretty steep drop-off.

On the plus side, I'd be making an income.

On the minus side, those fries would be salted with my tears.

The company expects that.

Most of the employee orientation is about where it's okay to cry.

Look, Ethan, you're gonna get back on the golf tour in no time.

You don't have to take some lousy job at a fast-food joint.

No offense, Shea.

It's hard to be offended when you're dressed like Aladdin's monkey.

Rent money, booyah!

Booyah squared!

Actually, it's booyah plus booyah, not booyah times itself,

but I thought the brevity added to the humor.

Which it almost did.

Well, how much is that?

- $60. - Plus my $62.

Well, better not keep my audience waiting.

And since I'm the only employee at Already Ready Burger

to show up for three consecutive shifts,

I've been promoted to assistant manager.

I spent my day putting out fires,

and when I wasn't doing that, I was solving problems.

Well, it's no surprise you're doing great. You went to MIT after all.

You must stand out.

Actually, I'm not even the only PhD there.

Most of them live with their parents too.

We're all overqualified,

except Rudy the Already Ready Burger clown.

He's exactly where he should be.

Well, get a load of that. Rent money.

Oh, it's nice to know we're not the only parents

with overeducated, underemployed kids.

We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on their

college educations, and now we have, ah...

122 back.

Now, off to the right you'll see Seattle's famous Space Needle.

It was constructed in 1961

and opened to the public in 1962.

We have bigger in Russia.

Just show us where Frasier live.

Not a real person.

But on show there is a picture. That's a real building.

Show us building.

That one.

I bet that's where Eddie and Frasier

make the tossed salads and the egg scrambles.

Is that your family?

That's my wife and daughters.

Stella.

You guys know Stella?

We, er, see her on the online.

Really?

Wow. I guess her Internet stuff's actually taking off.

And you know about this?

Oh yeah, if my daughter's making a buck, we're all for it.

You are a better man than me.

If my daughter show breasts on Interweb

- for money... - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you telling me my daughter's taking her top off on the Internet?

Yes. Top, bottom, middle.

Oh, God.

_

_

_

- Well, I think Stella... - Not yet.

- I mean, maybe she's... - Still not ready.

_

Now?

- Okay. - Okay.

I think this is one of those parenting moments

where we each say what we think we should do

and then respect what the other one's opinion is.

Sure.

I think we should talk to her and let it be her decision.

I think that's crazy.

We obviously have to lock her in a tower like Rapunzel,

but unlike that dumb witch, we shave her head.

We said she was our adult roommate.

If she wants to do this, she can.

The only tool in our arsenal is kicking her out.

I think it's the perfect tool for this situation.

But then she'll be out in the world,

still doing this webcam thing, and we won't be able to keep an eye on her.

- No control. - I like control.

Control's my thing.

I think what we should do is talk to her about this calmly and rationally.

Good idea. Stella, get in here!

Hey.

We're gonna be okay.

We got through that day in high school we found out she was on birth control.

The day the music died.

What's up?

Your father and I have some questions for you.

Okay, shoot.

You're killing me.

That's not a question.

Why are you killing me?

I don't know why you guys are freaking out so much.

It's legal entertainment.

It's like being naked in a play or a movie.

I'm playing a part.

Yeah, you're playing the role of "girl destroying father."

But I'm an adult.

Martina, do something, your therapy thing. Hypnotize her.

Do you have any idea what I do?