South Park

You guys! You guys!

Oh, my God, you're not gonna believe this!

- Dude, what? - You guys...

Heather Williams farted during P.E. class.

- So? - So?

Heather Williams farted during P.E. class!

That means we are gonna sit courtside

at the Denver Nuggets game next Saturday!

What?

Ugh! Heather Williams' mom

works for Coors in Golden!

Coors is the second biggest sponsor

of the Pepsi Center where the Nuggets play!

We tell Heather that if she doesn't get us courtside seats,

then everyone's gonna know she farted in P.E. class!

Whoa. I've never seen a Nuggets game in person.

Well, we're about to! All we have to do is show Heather

we have proof and she'll do whatever we want!

What proof do you have?

Kenny had his phone out!

He got a photo of Heather right when she farted.

Look! Isn't this awesome, you guys?!

Let's go, Nuggets!

Let's go, Nuggets!

Let's go, Nuggets!

Kids! Kids, can I have your attention, please.

Kids, listen up. This is an emergency.

Everything is fine but... we are sending you all home.

Some of you may have heard but there's a little virus

going around and the school district wants to make sure

we're all safe, so we're shutting down

the school for about two weeks.

Two weeks?! Yippie!

Oh, not now.

Your parents are here to pick you up. So let's go.

I'm sure it's nothing; we'll see you in a couple of weeks.

You guys... you guys, Heather Thompson

farted in P.E. class! Guys?

Every night I have the same dream,

and relive the whole thing again...

It's called social distancing.

If we stay six feet apart from each other

and wear a mask...

And also I'm shutting down the city and I'm a pervert.

And we've got to get control of this thing!

I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you,

- that's all. - You think

I like being here every day with you?!

I am much easier to get along with

during a stay-at-home order!

Come on, Stan, we're gonna visit Grandpa!

Hi, Grandpa!

Hi, Grandpa!

Isn't it great to see Grandpa, kids?

Look, let's just face it, you guys.

We don't trust each other and we don't like each other.

I hate this stupid farm.

In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic.

Oh, God, no!

My little girl!

Oh, no! Oh, God!

Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream

because the whole pandemic has started all over again.

A brand-new variant of the COVID virus has emerged

in Colorado and now panic and fear

spreads throughout the world.

The new outbreak started with the death

of renowned scientist Kenny McCormick,

and has therefore been named Kenny McCormikron.

It's been 38 years since the pandemic first started,

and people are beginning to say enough is enough.

The town of South Park has been put under strict lockdown

to try and contain the new variant.

Nobody is allowed in or out for the next 20 to 30 years.

Attention. You are under quarantine.

Someone in your community is not vaccinated.

Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper if possible.

Attention. You are under quarantine.

Someone in your community is not vaccinated.

Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper

if possible.

Attention. You are under quarantine.

Someone in your community is not...

Come on inside and rejuvenate.

Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max.

Taste the difference.

Welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max.

Just one joining us today?

Listen to me very carefully

and try not to change your expression.

They could be listening.

This... is the last sprout of Tegridy Weed.

We have to get it somewhere outside of town.

Sir, the whole town is under quarantine.

Nothing's allowed in or out.

We have to replicate it.

It's the only way for people to have Tegridy again.

Uh, okay, sir, if you don't want to eat,

then I'll need to ask you to leave.

Don't you understand this could change the world.

Maybe the Denny's side of you doesn't care,

but the Applebee's side of you must want to help!

There you are, Mr. Marsh.

Come on. Time to go back to the old folks home.

I can't go back! Everyone listen!

This little sprout is humanity's only hope!

Let's go back to the retirement home.

We can get you some nice ice cream, okay?

I don't want ice cream, I want my species to survive!

- Back off! - Let's go, Mr. Marsh!

Don't make this difficult for us!

Why, you son of a bitch.

- Come on, Mr. Marsh. - Who...?

It's me, Token. We know about the pangolin.

Your son and his friends are trying to stop all this

from happening. We need to get you to Kenny's lab.

Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be attempting to

travel back in time in order to stop

the COVID pandemic from ever happening.

At the moment Kenny time traveled,

he blew all the transformers here in the lab.

If you're going to try and replicate his work,

we'll be doing it at half capacity.

The bigger problem is that we can't even get

into half of Kenny's equipment.

We have access to the machines, but the codes to operate

those machines are behind an 86-Mag firewall

with restricted access,

requiring an in-person vocal scan of either

Kenny McCormick or of his associate, Victor Chouce.

But Kenny is dead and Chouce is locked away in a mental asylum.

So we go to the asylum and convince them

to let us bring Chouce here, easy.

There's more.

When Kenny bent time, the negative ions

actually killed everyone else in the room.

We have to find some thin, reflective material

that can be worn to bounce the energy.

We're going to need... some aluminum foil.

Jesus Christ.

Aluminum foil?

That's impossible, Wendy. It's the fucking future.

All the aluminum foil is stuck

out on cargo ships in Long Beach.

Yeah, I know.

Look, guys, I know this is all a long shot.

But Kenny went back in time and got COVID

because it destroyed our friendship.

All of this is our fault, and we can't do it without you.

I'll help however I can to stop this stupid pandemic

once and for all.

Yeah, I can't be stuck in quarantine

my whole life... I gotta get back to my job doing future comedy.

Speakin' of which, what's the biggest

difference between a Christian man and a lesbian?

Absolutely nothing. They are totally the same

and deserve to be treated as such.

Thanks, everybody. We can do this!

Wendy, you guys stay here and try

to get the lab running again.

Kyle and I will go get Victor Chouce.

Tweek and Craig, you guys find some aluminum foil.

- How the hell do we do that?! - Just start looking!

Come on, guys!

- All right, let's do this! - I'll drive, get in the back.

Alexa! Set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.

Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.

Do you ever think about how the way

you act affects other people?

Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now.

Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that.

Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue.

Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum

and we don't know where it is.

- Who's this? - It's just my Alexa.

"Just my Alexa"? You're a piece of shit!

You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit!

- Alexa... - Find the asylum your fucking self!

Find it your fucking self.

You do whatever the fuck you want

and just destroy the people around you.

And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier

available from one of your favorite sellers.

Would you like to know more?!

Yes, yes, I'd like to know more.

Okay. The newest humidifiers from Walgreens Max

are actually tankless and use up to 50%

less water than standard humidifiers.

Okay, that's really cool. Uh, add that to my shopping list.

Well, and people who were interested

in tankless humidifiers were also interested in

three-pack filters.

That's great. Do those have the Prime delivery?

Dude, we don't really have time for this.

Dude, shut the fuck up!

Please help see us through this new COVID variant.

Please help us to make it through this

difficult quarantine.

And let people see that...

as bad as COVID is, it's not as bad as diabetes.