Long Live the Lady! (Lunga vita alla signora!)

The women in front, the men behind. Quickly!

Find out where you must go.

Hey, you! Where're you going that way?

You should use the other entrance.

There, in the back, where's that entrance.

After the gate to the castle, you'll be at the top of the stairs.

Come on! Hurry up! I've got no time to lose!

So... one plus one - two, me included.

And you go the other side.

Come, follow me.

And now?

Good evening. Welcome. Please.

Come on.

Lancelot.

In our Lady's suite.

Please, get comfortable.

In the end... we were lucky.

Did you picture it like this?

Silence...

Just a few words concerning one and only one fundamental concept:

the well deserved dignity of your proffesion.

The task you are on the point of assuming,

is by no means understood as an humiliating one,

not by those which, like you, we'll be assuming this task,

and even less so by those benefitting from your services.

But humiliating it'd be, from your part,

as well as whoever else's,

to accept this work,

like a task fit only for an inferior class.

The classics... lets not forget the classics...

La mise en place.

Come on!

First.

Big knife on the right side.

Second.

Big fork on the left side.

Third.

Fish fork on the left side.

Fourth.

Fish knife on the right side.

Big glass for water.

One centimeter from the tip of the big knife.

Wine glass.

One centimeter from the tip of the fish knife.

Here it is.

Down... easy...

Two, three, four.

One, two, three, four...

- Miss is coming! - Miss!

Not even a flower?

Categorically.

Professor Sietz.

His Excellency.

Ma'am.

If I may... at the tip of the spoon.

Delegate.

And the wife.

Oh, pardon!

- Excuse me... what wines? - Her Ladyship's usuals.

There are no other instructions than those already given.

If we take into account the kind of wine...

I'm not interested by considerations other than

those of Her Ladyship,.

Count Cosi.

The Young Countess.

- Come with me. - Yessir.

If that double-face goes on like this,

I'll show her...

We must raise to the occasion!

Everything in the pantry. Do it.

You and you.

Those empty bottles must be taken downstairs.

Be careful, will you?

Oh, let's go!

Put them on the ground, in that corner.

The list.

This one here.

You, go take some empty hampers from the corridor. You come with me.

What are you doing?

That long for two hampers? Take some more, hurry up!

12 of those.

What manners, my God...

- And they're all young, aren't they? - Very young.

The last vintage, don't forget.

- No, no... that way. - That way.

- Ah, that way? - Yes, that way.

Rules for a proper behaviour.

During waiting, you'll not get together with your fellow waiters,

in a group or a cluster,

but will always remain attentive and alert at the station designated to you.

You'll only speak for work related necessities,

and always in a muttered voice.

You will use under no circumstances, neither hands, nor sleeves,

to wipe of your sweat.

And, above all, you will not touch the bread with these.

Don't run, don't faint,

but always be prompt and natural.

If you'll feel tired,

you will not lean with hands or body, on the walls and tables.

You'll use double-sole shoes, if rugs are predominant,

and rubber heels on polished floors.

Don't ever make sudden turns,

nor blow your nose in the hall,

nor show yourself absent minded or bored.

Don't do impure acts.

Six: Don't do impure acts.

Place the objects on the trays with care and in a safeway.

Avoid the clattering of the dishes.

If your hands are busy, don't close doors with your feet.

And if I catch you polishing your shoes with the napkins,

I'll wring your ears to all of you!

I have no time to lose!

Gentlemen, the guests to this important soiree,

are illustrious names form the financial,

political, scientific and cultural world.

Their presence honors and bestows an enourmous prestige on our house.

So that, I'm convinced,

each and evryone of you will do his best,

to fulfill his asignment.

promptitude, precision, and, above all, elegance,

are the distinctive attributes of our time.

Thank you.

Remember the cross.

And the ball.

Your name?

- Dalla Bona. - I presume this must be your surname.

- Oh, I'm sorry. Piergiorgio. - Also known as Pigi.

- And yours? - Maurizio.

- Also known as Mao. - What did you say his name was?

How do you call him?

- Mao. - Like the cat?

You?

- Libenzio. - What?

Libenzio.

Libenzio, from the latin "libare" which means "toasting".

And so, bringer of nectars, for libations.

Like Gaudenzio, means "bringer of joy".

Fulgenzio, "bringer of light".

Let's see.

Pens? Corkscrews? Lighters?

Do they work?

Later, during waiting,

we'll be able to better judge your behaviour.

You've been chosen as the best of your class,

so use this opportunity that's been offered to you

to the most.

Do yourself honour, but, most important, wash yourselves.

The bodily smells are unsupportable.

Premier maitre.

Maitre.

Salle sommelier.

Chef de rang.

Demi chef.

Comis de rang.

Comis sommelier.

Gueridons responsible.

Shall we open the lights?

Is this the way to work? Fucking shit!

Not like this!

From under, dumbhead!

Not with your hands, dickhead!

Shhh! The guests are coming!

And that bitch of sister of yours, you bastard!

It's time! Open!

Friends, welcome to her Ladyship's diner.

Please, come in.

Welcome, my lady.

Good evening, welcome.

Dear professor.

'Evening.

Mr Count.

Welcome back.

Look dear, now we're sitting here.

Further, our places are further ahead.

- If I may. - Please. - Thank you.

I apologize.

I'm sorry.

Excuse me...

Sorry...

As usually!

Young master.

Pardon.

It'd seem useless reminding you that every places

has been personally approved by her Ladyship.

Have you understood?

You either get out of the way

or I'll take you by your ears and send you back to your country.

Fucking moron.

That was missing... Go! Go!

Well, we only have to move one place.

What are you writing?

Mother!

Mother will be right here.

Mother is here, be a good boy.

- A guest is missing. - Who?

I'm sorry... allow me...

Who is that?

You know exactly who. You must take care of it right away.

Her Ladyship doesn't allow empty places.

Come with me. Yes, you. Come with me.