Nip/Tuck - Second Season

Previously on Nip / Tuck:

Get out!

- When's Mom coming back? - She's not.

What are you living on since you and Merrill split the sheets?

I've been transitioning into acting.

It's so rewarding to do more than stand there and pose.

Now I get to stand there and speak.

I will never forgive you for what happened.

I know.

Tell us what you don't like about yourself, Mr. Connors.

Before we begin, I'd just like to say my partner and I are big fans of your column.

We read it over breakfast in my house.

I love the one that you wrote about wiping your ass with leaves.

The column about how you lived for a month as an 18th-century settler...

to prove the inconvenience of modern conveniences.

Right. And interesting you remember my ass habits.

I just remember how fetching my wife looked in her bloomers.

Living in a fishbowl is all in a day's work as this one's wife.

- So how can we be of help today? - Well, I'd like some boobs.

- You mean pec implants. - No. Real lady boobs.

Amy recently lost a breast to cancer.

We were both a little surprised at how much her sense of herself...

her sexual identity, was tied up in her breasts.

I just want to do something radical in solidarity with her.

Try and help understand what she's been through.

And to understand women and their breasts in general.

And he's got a book contract.

Walk a Mile In My Boobs.

And all the proceeds go to Amy's cancer recovery center.

So, Mr. Connors, were you thinking of these as permanent?

No, a year sounds about right.

- And what size? - Like hers.

It's high Cs.

I figured after my mastectomy, I'd go up a size.

Mr. Connors, putting the swelling, pain, and risk of infection aside...

you'll have some sagging tissue after the removal of the implants...

which would require another surgery to eliminate.

There will be some colloidal and hypertrophic scarring.

Sorry, you're just whetting my appetite.

No story is easy. That's not what I'm looking for.

Besides, anything I go through will pale...

in comparison to what Amy's already been through.

That's my book.

What do you say? Will you do it?

Go deep.

Cop a feel of the brand-new implants, partner.

FedEx dropped off six months' worth of tits an hour ago.

I like the new packaging. Let me go to second base with the B.

Heads up.

I assume this is some kind of male bonding ritual...

whereby your partnership is being reaffirmed.

Fess up, Lizzie. You're a tit man.

I'm not.

But I'm thrilled that we're working on one.

Is that what I. Connors is getting?

- We're passing on that job. - Too many risks.

It's for his wife's cancer center.

- Don't you get how great that is? - Great for cancer. Disastrous for us.

We won't be taken seriously. It's an unseemly publicity stunt.

Let me ask you guys something.

70%/% of your business is shoving breast implants into women.

It's as easy for you as slicing a bagel.

It's unnatural to put them in a man.

It's no more unnatural than putting in a boob three times a woman's size...

- and disfiguring her. - We don't disfigure women.

Right. You enhance them.

Why can't the same be said for I. Connors?

Plus, here is a man who is getting fake titties...

not to raise his low self-esteem, but to heighten awareness about a disease.

If I. Connors isn't the perfect candidate for cosmetic surgery...

then I don't know who is.

Attagirl. All done.

- I thought it would hurt more. - You were so brave, honey.

Hello? Hey.

Hi, Mommy.

Daddy just took my blood to make sure I don't have juvenile diabetes.

Diabetes? Let me speak to Daddy, honey.

What?

Sean, why are you taking blood from Annie?

Go get your shoes on, sweetheart. We're leaving in five minutes.

- Why do you think? - Sean, it's an insane thing to do.

Annie is your daughter...

Can I help you with you something specific?

Yeah.

I've taken a place here at Marine Gardens...

and the kitchen isn't fully equipped.

I'd like to come by and get the espresso machine. You never use it.

Will you be around?

The house will be empty all day. Come by anytime before 5:00.

Anything else?

Let's get it all worked out now so you don't call all day long.

I'd like to pick up Annie after school and show her my place.

No, I don't want to disrupt her routine.

Sean, why is it that you can forgive Christian, but not me?

I don't know if I've forgiven him, Julia.

And how dare you ask me that?

As if I owe you any kind of explanation at all for anything I feel.

You can have Annie through the weekend, but it's the last time until...

we work out something more formal with the lawyers.

Congratulations. So, you're officially a whore now.

- Wrong. I'm a businesswoman. - And I'm secretary of state.

Ms. Henry, you've made an appointment...

so tell us what you don't like about yourself.

Her vagina.

This is a prototype of the new Kimber Henry doll.

- The Rolls-Royce of RDs. - RDs?

RealDolls. You know, sex dolls.

She's made out of high-grade silicone that feels totally like flesh.

All of her joints are completely flexible. Each of her three points of entry...

form a vacuum upon penetration...

which creates a suction effect for super intense orgasms.

Remind me...

did I ever say anything during the course of our sad, sordid affair...

that might lead you to believe I'd be interested in this freak show?

Don't pretend to be prude, Christian.

RealDolls are sold to doctors, judges, housewives and movie stars...

most of whom are a lot less depraved than you.

Are you back on coke?

Do you ask all your potential clients such rude questions?

Excuse my language, Dr. McNamara, but your partner's a rude asshole...

who acts like he knows it all, but in fact, he doesn't know shit.

You're not the first to suggest that, Ms. Henry.

What is it you want from us that your doll maker can't provide?

I'm not thrilled with what they've done to her vagina.

It looks too generic to me. I'd like it to be appealing and pretty.

The folds are too fleshy. See?

So I thought of you because you're flesh sculptors.

I have orifice approval.

Back up a bit.

The last I heard, you were taking Learning Annex acting classes.

So how did you get from Lady Macbeth to Lady Machole?

I got real, Christian. That's what happened.

I realized it wasn't my talent for playing a character that people responded to.

It's my raw, simmering sensuality.

I simply got tired of fighting my nature.

Why don't you admit you didn't have the patience...

to develop your skills as an actress, so now you're doing porn?

You asked me what happened. Do you want an answer?

Yes, I made a pornographic video.

It was an erotic fairy tale. I had one sexual partner.

Everyone had their AIDS and STD tests.

They've already had 40,000 orders for the next one.

That's unheard of.

My deal with Flawless Video is to make five more digital films, at which point...

I move behind the camera. Produce, maybe even direct.

The doll is key.

It'll make me an instant icon in this fast-growing market.

Miss Kimber will go for $10,000. I get $8,000 of that.

No offense.

I can see the doll is well fabricated, but in the end, she's just rubber.

She's not real.

Sometimes, Doctor, real isn't what you want.

The grownups have to get back to work now, Kimber...

so why don't you pack up both of your vaginas and go home?

Sean, I'll see you in surgery.

Before you turn me down, Christian...

Flawless Video is willing to pay $50,000...

for the perfect Miss Kimber pussy mold.

She's offering $50,000, Christian. It's a lot of money to turn down.

Wake up, Sean.

There is only one reason Kimber Henry came to us. She loves me.

The ugly vag was just an excuse to get me in a room with her again.

She's a train wreck, Sean. She can't help herself.

I've had enough Kimber Henry drama for many lifetimes.

We are passing on this job.

I don't think you realize how much revenue we lost...

during those weeks we were splitting up.

Now, we've got a payroll to meet. Quarterly taxes next week.

Then it's very simple, Sean. You take the case.

She doesn't want me, Christian. She wants you. That was abundantly clear.

Then if she refuses you, we'll know she's looking for trouble.

If she accepts, she's legit, and we put $50,000 in the bank.

You know I'm right about this.

- Smile. - What are you doing?

It's for my ever-expanding harassment file, which will be on my lawyer's desk...

unless you get rid of that demeaning, dehumanizing, degrading...

nightmare of a male fantasy by the start of business tomorrow.

If you try to get to know her, Liz, I think you might find she runs quite deep.

By 9:00, tomorrow morning, gentlemen. Good day.

She's right, Sean.

You'll have to take the doll to chez McNamara.

- I have a daughter. - Then put her in the closet.

The doll.

You take her home.

So I can stare for hours at the deranged bitch...

who tried to cut my dick off with a knife? No way.

You want to take this case, you carry the burden.

Actually, it could be a pleasant evening.

She doesn't eat much, she doesn't mind watching boxing.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I like women with a few flaws and a brain.

Where did that get you?

I'm going to apply the prosthetic alginate cream now.

Good foresight. You shaved the entire area.

I got that done a week ago. It's a Brazilian wax.

Haven't you ever seen one before?

Normally, my female patients are shaved by Nurse Linda, so, I...

My wife does something called a bikini wax...

which is not the same, obviously.

No, I've never seen one.

All the girls get them done now, Doctor.